Lucid
by Piper Emerald
Summary: When Light's plagued with continuous dreams of finding a notebook that kills whoever's name is written in it, he begins to doubt his sanity. Now not only will the dreams not stop, but they're affecting how he behaves and thinks. Then there's Ryuzaki, Light's weird classmate who he oddly finds himself spending more and more time around. (I own nothing.) LxLight. AU(ish).
1. Prologue

_Light Yagami's Sleep Diary_

 _Time: 18:23_

 _Day: 5th_

 _Month: May_

 _Year: Omitted_

 _The dreams started a week ago. I'm still maintaining the recommended amount of sleep for someone of my age and stress level, however I will admit that I have felt more fatigued and have trouble focusing lately._

 _I feel foolish writing all of this out. I have never been the type of person to keep a diary, and I am well aware that this is sounds more like a long than a journal entry. I wouldn't be writing this all out if I wasn't so freaked out._

 _If I wasn't beginning to doubt my own sanity._

 _Before I go any farther I feel that I should explain that the dreams I have been having are not nightmares and I'm rarely filled with a fear upon waking. Although they have recently been taking a darker turn, I would describe them as pleasant, if it wasn't for how odd they are._

 _No. They're not_ odd _. They're the complete opposite of_ odd _. That is to say, every single one of them makes perfect sense, and I can recount every detail the next day. They don't feel like dreams, they feel like instances that actually happened to me (or at least another version of me). Or they feel like chapters of a novel, each dream continuing the story by picking up exactly where the pervious one left off._

 _I am fully and painfully aware of how crazy I sound. Again, that's why I'm writing this. I was told that it would help by a family member after I mentioned that my dreams were bothering me. However, I did not explain what about my dreams were troubling, this isn't something that I expect to tell any other person._

 _Alright, I think that's enough background. I might as well get to it. After all, I have a whole weeks worth to write before I go to sleep tonight._

 _I can't remember exactly how the first dream began, but the trouble started when dream-me picked up a black notebook in the middle of my school courtyard..._

* * *

Light closed the navy blue spiral notebook, hesitating before placing it in the drawer of his desk. The very same draw that he dreamed hiding the Death Note in. The parallel made him cringe, but didn't stop him from utilizing the most sensical place for him to keep his journal. He locked the drawer after closing it. his action may be seen as paranoia, but he didn't want to chance his mother finding and reading it if she decided to straiten up his room, or Sayu coming across it if she fancied snooping through his things. The key to the drawer went into the pocket of the pants that he had set out for the next day.

Closing his eyes, Light ran a hand through his auburn hair. It was getting late and he knew if he lost sleep he would suffer for it the next day. But did he really want to return to the fantasy world that he did not know how to escape from?

Sure, he had to admit he was a little curious to see what was going to happen next. At times he even envied the opportunity that his dream self had. Yet, the existence of the realm that his subconscious had somehow created the most frustratingly frightening experience. In the dream he surrendered all control to the subconscious version of himself, and, if there was one thing that Light Yagami detested it was lacking control.

Silently giving up, Light switched his lamp off and walked to his bed.

"Here we go again."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Greetings whoever is reading this! As you can tell from the prologue that you just read this story is somewhat AU.

The concept for this story is that Light Yagami is an normal high-school student who is mysteriously plagued with a continuous dream of the storyline of the anime/manga. This is an LxLight story (L will be in the next chapter), with the side ship of Matt/Mello (their first appearance will be in chapter two). For the most part this is going to be in third-person and in Light's point of view, but I will go into other main or secondary character's minds by having their diary or journal entries. One last thing, although she's not in the character list for this story Sayu is going to play a central role in this story (mainly because I like writing for siblings).

That's about it, my next update should be either tomorrow or the next day (actually chapters will be at least twice as long as this one). If you want more or have any questions please review!


	2. Chapter One

Light was a diligent student–actually, he was a brilliant student–but that did not mean that he enjoyed school. He wasn't the type of high-schooler who loathed every minute he spent on campus, and there were times when he was grateful to have somewhere to spend his day doing things that were somewhat productive. The only reason that he did not love school was because he found himself constantly ahead of the rest of his class and bored out of his mind.

Yet, it was Light's senior year, soon he would be going to college, and a voice inside was telling him that he should enjoy his last year before he was given complete freedom. That voice said that he should make the most of not only the learning but the friends he had made that he doubted he would see much after this year ended. That voice told him that he should relish the thrill that he got from the success that he had worked the past four years to achieve.

That voiced was promptly muted the moment his dean told him that he had to take Creative Writing.

The long story short was that there had been a mishap while filing Light's records. When he had checked last year it had looked like he had all or his required credits with some to spare, but he was missing an elective and the only class that Light did not find dull and pointless with a spot open was Creative Writing which just happen to be in the same period as Light's study hall. This information had been given with so many apologies that Light didn't have it in him to be angry. However, a month into the class, he was begin to feel vexation seizing him.

Light's teacher, Ms. Kawaguchi had decided to ease her class into the school year by hiding her insanity from them for the first month. However, now that it was May she had no qualms with driving them as crazy as she was. It wasn't that she was piling homework on them, that Light could handle. Ms. Kawaguchi had the misconception that everyone of her students not only had the talent and creativity to become Japan's number one best selling author, but that it was her job to push each and everyone of them to their limit. After his dreams, Light hadn't been doubting his own creativity, but the prompts that she gave them were just plain weird.

On top of that, Light didn't like a single one of his classmates. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but Ms. Kawaguchi was a huge fan of partner discussions. This was the most awkward part of the class, because half of the students were writers who were able to channel Ms. Kawaguchi brand of madness, and the other half were slackers who didn't take that part of the class seriously. The only students that didn't fall under these cutouts aside from himself were Misa Amane, and Ryuzaki Lawliet. These two happened to be the only people in his class that Light had known before being forced into Creative Writing.

Light hadn't had a legit conversation with Misa Amane since sophomore year and there was a reason for this. Light had made a point to avoid Misa Amane because it was clear that she was head-over-heels him. At first he had been alright with that, after all it's a nice feeling to know that someone can see you in that way, even if you have no feelings for them whatsoever. However, after a few weeks of doe-eyed looks and clingy behavior, Light found her crush far less charming. Aside from that, the girl was the type of peppy and perky that gave Light a migraine.

Ryuzaki Lawliet had been in at least one class with Light since elementary school. Despite having to see him practically everyday, Light barely knew the boy, but you didn't need to know him to realize that he was filled to his brim with oddity. In fact, all that you had to do was look at Ryuzaki to know that he was a weirdo; from the way that he sat (with his back hunched and his feet pulled up) to his always disheveled clothes there was nothing remotely normal about the boy's appearance. Not to mention he was constantly eating sweets, yet was still pencil thin.

Then there was the fact that Ryuzaki wasn't even his real name! If Light could remember correctly the boy had stopped going by his actual name in the third-grade after being picked on by some of the other kids. Ryuzaki's real name was L. In Light's opinion, just a letter barely counted as a name. Most of the third-grade had shared this way of thinking and had no problem pointing this out. At first Light had felt bad for L, but the boy had merely shrugged off the teasing. He did, however, return to school the next day insisting that he be referred to by an 'actual name.'

The more Light thought about the guy, the more he realized how completely abnormal he was. Yet, the most annoying thing about Ryuzaki was the fact that he was the only student in the entire school who had the same grade average as Light. Despite the lack of proof, Light didn't doubt his superiority, but he had to admit that buried beneath all of the weird Ryuzaki had to have a brain.

It took a moment for Light to bring his thoughts away from his classmates and back to whatever Ms. Kawaguchi was lecturing the class about. It was difficult for him to weed through her energy and make a mental note of what she was instructing them on.

Light had lunch after Creative Writing. Most people thought of Light as popular, because of the people that he ate with. It was true that Light was a likable person, and it would have been easy for him to become the leader of that group, but he rarely considered any of his peers actual friends. However, this was something that he did not mention to them.

When Kiyomi Takada arrived at their table, she was accompanied by a girl that Light had never seen before. Takada didn't hesitate to announce that the girl was a new student and that she was showing her how to get to all of her classes. It wasn't that unusual for someone to transfer schools a month into the school year. Still, the fact that this girl, Namoi Misora was what she introduced herself as, was switching during her last year of high-school was a little peculiar, but Light let this go. He had better things to do than worry about other people's personal lives. Namoi seemed like a nice enough girl, and he didn't mind sitting with her. She didn't talk much at first, but that was to be expected from a new student.

* * *

"Are you sleeping better?" Sayu asked Light during dinner.

"Yes," he lied and gave her a smile he doubted she could see through.

"Were you having trouble sleeping, Light?" His mother asked, her voice coated with concern.

"He was having nightmares," Sayu answered for him.

"I had one or two unpleasant dreams," he corrected, building the lie farther. "But, they stopped thanks to my nosey sister's advice."

"Hey!" If there wasn't a table between them, Light new that she would have hit him playfully. "I'm not nosey, I just noticed that you looked tired."

"Whatever you say, Sayu Nosey Yagami," Light replied.

"Your insults suck," Sayu informed him.

"That's only because it's the younger siblings job to be annoying that the older ones job to be responsible and suffer through the annoyance." He countered. Sayu responded by sticking her tongue out at him.

"Both of you, stop bickering at eat your dinner," their mother chided.

"Light started it," Sayu muttered.

"Are you fourteen or eight?" He asked, and she stuck her tongue at him again.

"Is Dad coming home tonight?" Sayu asked their mother, changing the mood of the room immediately.

"He's working late again, sweetie."

Light read the disappointment on his sister's face as she took in these words. This was the third late night this week.

"You want some help on your homework?" Light asked his sister when they had both finished eating. He knew that if he didn't accompany her to her room she was only going to sulk.

"If you're offering." She beamed up at him in the sweet and carefree way that only a sheltered little sister could, and Light couldn't help smiling back.

* * *

Light started down at the first idiotic prompt that the class had been assigned for homework. He was supposed to fill both sides of the lined paper with his piece, but Ms. Kawaguchi had stated that students who's writing continued until the story ended would be given points. Light didn't know if she was referring to legitimate extra credit points or that she was figuratively applaud them. He didn't care, his piece would stop once he wrote the required amount.

 _Write a story from the point of view of the main character's hat._

Maybe done well this would be seen as artistic, but Light knew that whatever he put on the paper would be just plain dumb. This was the last piece of homework that he had left, and he was anxious to finish so that he could log his dreams (which had taken an even more fantastical turn the last night when the Shinigami appeared to him). Sighing, Light knew that if he put off starting any longer he may become an actual procrastinator and that thought made him shiver.

"Start with an opening," he told himself out loud. Sometimes speaking helped his thoughts circulate. "Once upon a time is too lame, but..."

 _Hello._

That was direct, but Ms. Kawaguchi might appreciate that he was taking a conversational tone.

Once Light finished the greeting, he realized that he didn't know what the plot of his story would be. Although he doubted it needed to be complexed, since it the story was only supposed to be two pages long. He needed a human character for the hat to talk about. Ms. Kawaguchi was always telling them to write about what they know, so a safe route would be for him to make his character a high-schooler.

Light quickly scribbled down his thoughts, writing largely so that he would fill up the space faster. Once he finished the last sentence, he cringed, stuffed the paper into his folder, and the folder into his school bag. It didn't matter if his prompt response was awful, only he and Ms. Kawaguchi were going to see it.

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 6th_

 _Prompt: Write a story from the point of view of the main character's hat._

 _Hello. It's nice to meet you. I would tell you my name, but hats aren't really given names. Sorry. We aren't given the ability to talk or write either, so I'm not entirely sure what is happening here, but I digress._

 _You're not here to hear about me. My story is the farthest thing from interesting or entertaining and I my intention is not to bore you. You're here to hear about Kade, my owner._

 _Kade is a normal sixteen-year-old. Nothing exciting ever happens to him, but that isn't something that he notices. He's lived a privileged life, but if he could have one more thing I would give him a friend. The kid needs someone to talk to, aside from me of course. Although, talking to me is one of the things that I think he should stop doing before someone else finds out._

 _Kade doesn't know that I'm alive, but it's not as if I have a pulse or anything that would give him that impression. He just needs someone, or something, to sit still and hear him. I'm good at listening. Well, it's the only thing I'm good at. You can't really count sitting on top of someone's head as a talent, and I fall off most of the time anyway._

 _I guess I'm not the best at being a hat, and Kade isn't the best at being a high school student. That's how we fit._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt One_

 _May 6th_

 _Write a story from the point of view of the main character's hat._

 _I feel myself slide as gravity pulls at the half of me that was already tilted toward the ground. Not for the first time I find myself thinking that someone really needs to tell Mail that wearing me to the side of his head doesn't look cool and will always result on me falling off of his unnaturally red hair._

 _Two more seconds pass before I make contact with the leather couch that I have spent many afternoons discarded on. I landed softly, so I won't let the fact that Mail let me fall bother me. I will also ignore how unaware he is that the thing keeping his head warm is no longer doing it's job. No one expects Mail to respond to anything while he is absorbed in a game. In a way, laying on the couch isn't very different than laying on Mail's head. At times I think I'd get more of a response from the cheep leather than the boy that bought me._

 _I know that what I'm saying resembles a complaint, but I do enjoy my job. Hats don't get to choose who they are stuck with, and, despite his neglect, there is a reason why I've stayed for all these years while other articles of clothing are thrown out as he grows older. I hope that the reason I'm still around his because I'm somewhat dependable, or because he likes the way that I fit on him._

 _Then again, it's possible that the only reason he hasn't passed me on is because Mihael once said that I look good on him. Being a hat I don't know much about friendship, but I've often wondered if what those two boys have goes a little farther. If it does either neither of them are aware of it or they're both too scared to voice how deep their connection goes. Maybe one day they will, but I doubt I'm the best source to ask._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for reading, please review! Also, huge thank you to everyone who followed and to Croliss Kat and Guest for reviewing! See you guys next chap! (I'm over using exclamation points...)


	3. Chapter Two

_I will hunt you down where ever you're hiding and I will eliminate you. I am justice!_

Light set his pen down on his table and closed his notebook. After safely tucking it away in the draw, he leaned back in his chair, letting his hand rest on the top of it's back. He let out a sigh that masqueraded as a laugh.

L.

L "Ryuzaki" Lawliet.

Of course Light's subconscious had made his weird classmate a super detective who was trying to catch him. Light wasn't sure if this was frustrating of hilarious. Sure the guy was smart, Light had to give him that, but he could not picture that scrawny boy being the world's only hope of stoping Kira. How had that thought manifested?

At least now he didn't have to worry about his dream-self getting caught. Despite Ryuzaki rivaling him as top student in practically every class, Light didn't doubt that he could outsmart him in real life. This confidence was sure to carry over to the dream making his task even easier.

 _But you're not worried_ , he reminded himself. _It's only a dream, after all. You're not worried or excited about what's going to happen._

He didn't want to admit the amount of times that he had to mentally rehearse these facts in order for them to stick.

"Light, are you up yet?" His sister's voice shouted through the door.

"I'll be down in a minute, Sayu," Light called back, hating how strained his voice sounded. He had planned to log his dreams at the end of the day, but he needed the writing process to help him figure this one out. Unfortunately it hadn't helped much.

* * *

Were Light's school life a TV show, groans would have erupted when Ms. Kawaguchi said the words: "Alright class, today we're going to try things from a different angle!" However, Light's class was not a TV show, so all displays of disappointment and annoyance were preset to mute. That did not, however, mean that they weren't felt by half of the class.

Ms. Kawaguchi then explained how each student was going to have a writing partner for the rest of the year to given them feed back on their prompts and bounce ideas off of. In other words, Light was going to be stuck working with the same classmate for the entire school year. He wanted to smack his head against his desk. Thirty seconds after the class was permitted to choose partners said want turning into a driven need.

Apparently the majority of the other students had friends in the class, because before Light could bring himself to rise from his desk the only people left to choose from were himself, Misa Amane, Ryuzaki Lawliet, and a girl that Light did not know.

Light weighed his chances at getting the stranger to partner with him, but he knew nothing about this girl and it was likely that she could be a crazy writer or a slacker and he did not want to spend the rest of his school year conversing with either of those options. Not to mention there was a chance that she would say no, and that was an embarrassment that he did not desire. This left him with Misa and Ryuzaki.

Light knew that Misa wouldn't make fun of anything that he wrote, and it would be amusing to see her attempt to compliment his hat story. On the other hand, there was the fact that she could still have a crush on him and suffering through her doting was not something that his patience was ready to endure. Light knew that Ryuzaki would make fun of him if he saw fit, but he doubted that the oddball could come up with anything better than Light could. He was not jumping for joy at the prospect of sitting next to, much less talking to, that boy from the remainder of the school year, and after L's appearance in Light's dreams he was even less motivated.

It took ten seconds for Light to rifle through these thoughts, and if he didn't decide at the very moment he knew that Misa would ask him to be her partner. He wasn't going to be rude enough to say no to the girl, so he had to decide if he was actually alright with that option. Misa was nice, but she could be a bit of an air head. Could Light really stand listening to her talking in the third person for longer than a few minutes?

Making his decision, Light stood up from his desk and walked across the room to where Ryuzaki was sitting alone. He didn't sit down, but dropped his bag on the desk in front of the other boy. This effectively got Ryuzaki's attention, and he raised his eyes to meet Light's.

"You want to?" Light asked tightly.

"Fine," was Ryuzaki's neutral response.

Light then sat down, facing the front of the room instead of turning to talk to Ryuzaki. Before speaking to the boy again, Light's plan was to wait until he was given specific instructions to do so. They weren't friends or even acquaintances, after all, and the less he interacted with the weirdo the less he encouraged his subconscious. Unfortunately, Ryuzaki had other ideas.

"Yagami, Miss Amane is gapping in your direction," Ryuzaki informed him after poking him on the back with the eraser side of his pencil.

"She does that sometimes," Light wasn't sure how else to reply, but made a point not to turn around to catch Misa's expression or make eye contact with Ryuzaki.

"I see."

Light was saved from whatever remark Ryuzaki would have made after those two words when their psycho teacher told the class to share their homework with each other to get feedback. Some people had taken these instructions as an opportunity to read their writing out loud to their partners. Light fished the paper out of his folder and placed in on Ryuzaki's desk instead. There was no way that he was going to read anything that he wrote for this class out loud. Ryuzaki must have had the same idea, because he handed Light his paper as well.

Despite the boy's crumpled appearance, Ryuzaki's paper was wrinkle free. His penmanship did need some work, but Light was still able to decipher what each word was. It took Light a minute and a half to carefully read through the short story. Once he finished and turned around, he was met by an impatient stare. Light took this to mean that Ryuzaki had finished at least half a minute before him.

"Would you like to speak first or should I?" Ryuzaki asked politely.

"I'll go," Light decided.

Normally he liked critiquing other people's work, because normally he was the more skilled and could offer advice to mend the many mistakes that he found. However, he knew that he wasn't expectational at this subject and it was hard for him to think of something constructive to say. Not to mention the sting that he felt when he realized that Ryuzaki was a more talented fictional writer than he was.

"It's good," Light though back to his teacher's endless lectures to find a piece of technique that Ryuzaki had not used. "You could have added some dialogue."

"Are you suggesting that I made the hat have the ability to talk?" Ryuzaki was clearly unimpressed.

"No." Light should have picked Misa for his partner. "You talked about two boys. You could have made them have a conversation."

"Yes, but the point of this was to be a short story." Ryuzaki argued. "A conversation would have stretched it to at least five pages."

"It was just a suggestion, you don't have to take it seriously." Light nearly groaned in exasperation.

"Alright."

 _Did he just agree that he wasn't going to take me seriously?_ Light didn't have the chance to answer himself.

"Now we discuss your story," Ryuzaki continued.

"Yes."

"Your tone what somewhat entertaining, but neither of your characters were developed enough for the reader to care about them. Your narrator also contradicts itself, and I'm not sure if that was your intention." Ryuzaki spoke so matter-of-factly that, had Light not been prepared for a response like this, he would have been compelled it hit him.

"Alright," Light made a point to stay calm and collected. "Any suggestion?"

"Write for characters aren't dry and lifeless." Ryuzaki's voice was dry and lifeless.

"Okay," Light was determined not to give the other boy the satisfaction of seeing his irritation. "I'll do that next time."

With that Light turned around at waiting for the class to end. He'd write something better next time. Or he'd at least put some effort into it. He could also pay the same attention that he did in his other classes, so that he'd be able to nit pick Ryuzaki's mistakes. Although he doubted Ryuzaki would listen to anything Light said, it might feel good to hand him a list of flaws the way that he had done to Light.

When class had ended, it struck Light that since he had started talking to Ryuzaki his thought's hadn't once reverted to the dreams that he had been having.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Wednesday_

 _I. Am. Not. Happy._

 _The worst part–well, not the worse part–a fork in the road of frustration was that today would have been a great day if it wasn't for_ them. _I know that I'm probably not making any sense, so let me start from the beginning of when my day went to hell._

 _I was walking home from school. Matt was supposed to walk with me, but he had to talk to a teacher about something. I'm refraining my irritation at him ditching me because I'm fairly sure that he was in trouble, but I would usually be a little pissed off. What's the fun in living in the same house and going to the same school as your best friend if you two hardly see each other during the week?_

 _Anyway, I had reached the front door of the house that I have reluctantly been calling home for the past few years when I heard the most terrifying sound to ever assault my ears._

 _Children._

 _Yes, I had been given fair warning that a few new kids were going to be moving into the house after the adoption last week, but I did not expect four seven-year-olds to have full run of the place the second I got home._

 _Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against little kids…. As long as they are kept the hell away from me. Yes, I know this is a bad attitude, but how else am I supposed to think after nearly fifteen years in the system?_

 _The worst is yet to come._

 _After I escaped the living room where the little devils were playing, Roger told me that, since the house is going to be full for a while, it's not exactly fair that I have my own room while everyone else has to share._

 _At first I put up a fight to this logic, but after a long and dry lecture I decided to cut my losses. Fine, I thought, I'll room with Matt. We're best friends, and he's doesn't leave his stuff around like other people I've been forced to room with. Roger then informed me that he was giving me second choice in who I got stuck with, since I was the second oldest kid in the house. The oldest, L, got first pick that morning, and had also reasoned that, out of the people in this house, Matt would be the easiest to live with._

 _Now I was irritated. Matt gets to room with the second coolest person in the house (the first coolest being me), L gets the best roommate in this house, and I'm stuck with either rooming with Near or a seven-year-old. I decided that maybe, just maybe, I could suffer through the albino twat's presence until the children are spirited away to a cuddly, mushy new home. Now I wish I chose the kid._

 _The entire room is covered in toys, and cards, and dice, since Near does not comprehend the whole this-side-is-mine-and-that-is-yours rule._

 _I am going to kill him._

 _I am going to kill myself._

 _I can't find I suitable place to hide this book, and I know he's going to see me writing in it at some point, so NEAR IF YOU'RE READING THIS FUCK YOU!_

 _I am not happy._

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _New kids came today. Mello is mad 'cause L picked me to be his roommate so now poor Mels is stuck with Near. I'm sending him moral support. And laughing. Just a little._

 _L asked my permission to use me in his writing assignment again. He still won't let me read the first one, but he says I could read this one if I really want to._

 _I didn't finish the old Pokemon game that Mels gave me yesterday 'cause my teacher confiscated it. I got in trouble, but I don't think he's gonna call Roger this time._

 _That is all._

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 7th_

 _Prompt: Set something on fire._

 _My numb fingers light the match and let it fall. I take a few steps back as the small flame makes contact with the dry leaves on the forest floor. It takes seconds for the flame to grow and spread. Soon it had reached the first tree, and I smile in satisfaction as the wood is consumed._

 _I've stayed for too long and can't risk sticking around for another moment, so I run. If I'm caught everything that I've done will be pointless. Still, part of me wants to linger to see the damage that is done. However, that is dangerous for both my health and my security. Feeling the warmth spread behind me is reassuring._

 _As I run I feel a smile spread on my lips._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Two_

 _May 7th_

 _Set something on fire._

 _Mail wasn't aloud to smoke, and if he had been he certainly wouldn't be aloud to do so in the house. In hindsight his room had not been the best location for him to experiment with this dangerous hobby, but it was the only piece of space that belonged to him and where he would get a moment alone. If he went outside, he would be in eyeshot of the other children and that at least one of them would blow the whistle on him._

 _Trying the cigarettes at school where he found them was also out of the question. Mail was not going to risk Mihael seeing him. It wasn't that he was afraid of his friend telling on him, he just didn't want those I-know-all eyes to judge him for what he did know was a vice. Mihael and he had never talking about smoking and there was a chance that he didn't find it cool._

 _As a result of his reasoning, Mail lit his first cigarette while perched on the edge of his bed with his door closed and air condition on. He had been careful to blow out the match and toss it into the waist bin, but he had not been careful to keep a good hold on the cigarette when he inhaled his first painful breath. While succumbing to a coughing fit, he let the precarious item slip through his fingers and on to the bed._

 _To put it simply, the result was a catastrophe._

 _Because fate has a wicked sense of humor, it had been Mihael who found him trying and failing to bat out the small flames that devoured his bed sheets. Mihael had entered the room while saying the words: "Hey do you smell something burning?" and then screamed "What the hell did you do?" the moment his senses took in his surroundings._

 _Luckily, Mihael hadn't waited for Mail to answer before he dashed from the room and returned with a glass of water from the bathroom down the hall. The water was dumped on the bed, drowning the would be disaster and leaving behind a soggy, charcoal mattress._

 _Mail quickly explained to his friend why his bed was on fire, ready to face the appropriate response of exasperation. To his surprise, Mihael only said: "Next time, we're going outside."_

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry about the swearing, but that will be a part of most of Mello's entries.

Thanks again to everyone who followed and favorited! Special thanks to Animelover5008 and Corliss Kat for reviewing. Corliss, I honestly did not purposely base Kawaguchi off of one of my teachers...but she might have turned out to be exactly like her.


	4. Chapter Three

"Well?" Light was sitting backwards in his chair, waiting for Ryuzaki to start telling him exactly was was wrong with the piece that he had written.

"It's short."

"We didn't have a required length," Light told him.

"So you chose to write the bare minimum," he didn't phrase this as a question.

"No," Light reminded himself not to snap. "I chose to write until my story was complete."

"This is not complete," Ryuzaki stated. Before Light could argue he was saying: "A complete story has a beginning, middle, and an end. This does have beginning, and I'll accept the second paragraph as a middle, but there is no end. Once more your character has no depth or motivation, this doesn't even skim the surface of what the assignment was asking for."

"Suggestions?" Light asked, although he really didn't care what Ryuzaki was going to tell him.

"Make it longer," Ryuzaki replied flatly.

"Fair enough," Light accepted the aggravating response.

"Yours still needs more dialogue, especially since the two characters were in the same room this time," he told him tightly, enjoying to look of vexation that Ryuzaki's face contorted into. He decided at that moment that the best way to get back at the comments Ryuzaki was hurling at him was to do exactly as he had just done: take them with the straight face and give back a completely trivial one.

When light walked out of the classroom he collided with another person. His first thought was to keep his balance and not drop his book bag, his second thought was: _if this is karma then Ryuzaki better get run over by a truck today,_ and his third thought was to see if the person he had ran into had fallen or not.

"Hey, Light!" Touta Matsuda greeted him from the ground. "Sorry about that."

"No problem," Light extended his arm to help Matsuda up. Why he had dreamed his nice but air-headed classmate/sort-of-friend as a cop who worked with his father Light would never know. Mastuda was in the same grade as Light, but hadn't been in Light's circle of people he chose to spend his time with since junior high. Light didn't have anything against Matsuda, but he tended to prefer smart over good-hearted.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Mainly Not Diary_

 _Thursday_

 _I am avoiding my room._

 _As I write this I am sitting on the floor of Matt and L's room, the only place in the house where I am not surrounded by toys. I guess I can't complain about the seven-year-old playing with their robots and dolls, but Near is thirteen! He needs to grow up or at least learn not the leave his hard, plastic items on his side of the room where I will not step on them!_

 _The next on that pierces my foot will be burned. To a wooden stake. In front of him._

 _L is writing stories about me and Matt for his writing class, or at least he was yesterday. I didn't read it, but I was in the room when Matt did. Apparently he wrote about that time that Matt let the cigarette set his bed on fire last year. I guess he left out part of my genus, because after he read it Matt said:_

 _"_ _Why'd you end it before we flipped the mattress over? That helped me avoid getting in trouble for it for a whole month!"_

 _I don't think that Matt smoked anymore after that, but I never told him how angry I was that he tried it in the first place. He'd tell me if he tried it again. I can be angry at him if that time comes._

 _That's all I'm gonna write today, but I'll make an update if I murder Near within the next few hours!_

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _Mello keeps complaining about Near. I promised to be his accomplice for the murder._

 _I beat the Pokemon game, but I didn't have the time to get a new one. Now I am gameless and bored._

 _That's all._

* * *

While he was putting off starting his Creative Writing Homework, Light found himself pondering what he had dreamt that night. The dreams were beginning to move a little faster, and the last thing that he remembered was refusing to make the deal for Shinigami eyes. He was pleased that his dream-self had sense enough to deny this deal, for it might actually drive him insane if his subconscious version of himself had been and idiot.

If he had figured out how to lucid dream, then he wouldn't need Shinigami eyes to get rid of the detective hunting him. Well, if he was able to lucid dream maybe he'd be able to stop the story that he was being trust into from continuing. Unfortunately, none of the attempts that he had made to do this had worked. He had tried multiple times before giving up and turning to the dream log as a solution instead.

Pulling himself back to earth, Light glanced at tonight's prompt, and picked up his pencil. He wished that he had chosen a different elective, any different elective, to fill the credit that he shouldn't even need. He also wished that Ryuzaki actually would get hit by a truck, that way he wouldn't have to deal with the weirdo the next day.

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 8th_

 _Prompt: What does writer's block feel like?_

 _My mind is blank. I try to swim around or though it blankness, but it keeps pushing back against me. Having the block is being inside of it. Trapped in a cube of blank._

 _I clear my mind. I try to do a different activity. Nothing works, I can't escape the cube. I tell myself how bad this is, and how dead I am if I don't write at least something right now._

 _I get angry at the cube, beating my fits against the walls and ceiling. I get angry at myself, but it don't achieve anything._

 _I have writer's block._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Three_

 _May 8th_

 _What does writer's block feel like?_

 _Writer's block is not a block at all, it's a wall. Usually you don't know how you wound up on the wrong side of it, but once you're there you're stuck. You find yourself imagining that there's a door in the middle of it, and if you put enough effort into reaching the door then you will. Normally it's right when your hand finally makes contact with it's handle that you realize the door is nothing more than a mirage. Occasionally the door might even been real, but it's locked and you can't find were you placed the key._

 _Sometimes the wall has windows or is entirely made of glass. You can see your inspiration on the other side, but you can't figure out how to reach it. You know that the glass is breakable, but you don't have the means to shatter it's surface._

 _The wall consumes your inspiration, and just when you think that all hope is gone, you find yourself back one the other side. You're safe and connected once more, but you know that it won't last. You are fully aware that there will be a time when you are back on the other side of the wall, still with no knowledge of how to escape. You just hope that it won't be anytime soon._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thank you too Death By Heart DBH and Corliss Kat for reviewing!


	5. Chapter Four

"Did you have writer's block when you wrote this?" Ryuzaki's voice broke through Light's concentration.

"Ha," Light didn't turn around as he passed Ryuzaki's half read story back to him.

"It's shorter than the last one," Ryuzaki observed.

"Your's still need dialogue," Light snapped. Ryuzaki chuckled and Light seriously wanted to smack him. "If you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong than how do you think my writing is going to get any better."

"Your writing is not the problem," Ryuzaki answered. "Your lack of an effort is. Honestly, it's disappointing coming from you."

"I'm flattered that you have so much confidence in me," Light said as flatly as he could.

"Mock me all you wish, Yagami," Ryuzaki said dismissively. "You're just irritated because you know I'm correct."

"I'm irritated because you insult every story that I write," Light shot back.

"Write something good and I won't insult it," Ryuzaki's words sounded vaguely like a challenge.

"Sure," Light muttered, his thoughts going back to the dream he'd had that night.

* * *

 _Farewell, Raye Penber..._

When Light wrote about the dreams he felt like a genius. Every detail of the complexed plans that he created came from his mind when it wasn't even awake! When he thought back to everything had happened, he felt powerful. Then he would realized what he was thinking, and would go back to being terrified that he couldn't stop the dreams from ended.

"This is what it's like to be insane," he told himself out loud (an action that only strengthened his words).

He was beginning to sound like a broken record. _Am I insane? Am I insane? Am I insane?_

He couldn't accept that this was what the dreams were making him, but he couldn't accept the opposite either. He was simultaneously scared and exhilarated. He wanted to settle with one option, but that was impossible.

 _Nock, nock._

"Light?" Sayu called from outside of his door. "Can you help me with my homework, again?"

"I'm starting to think that you aren't paying attention when I explain it to you," he told her as he swung his door open. He had already put away his journal, so his room was a Sayu-safe-zone.

"Yes I am," she told him sharply. "I need help with a different formula."

"Okay, show it to me."

When Sayu asked anyone for anything, the only answer was yes. Light marveled that she hadn't become a completely spoiled brat after a childhood of everyone doing whatever she wanted them to. Light knew he had nothing to do with the manners that she could display outside of the house.

Their parent's were constantly complemented on the accomplishment of raising such perfect children. Light was the best in his class (well, tied for best technically) and on the road to a life full of success, while Sayu was the perfect fourteen-year-old girl: smart (even though she did have some troubles with her studies), sweet, and pretty. Light used to hate it when people would remark this about either of them, for it made it seem as if they had no depth at all.

"So, how's your life?" Sayu asked him once they had finished her homework.

"Fine," Light showed his skepticism toward her question.

"You never talk about anything," she exclaimed, clarifying why she was asking in the first place. "Tell me something that happened to you today."

"Sayu, I just went to school and came home," Light stated.

"Then tell me something that happened at school," she countered. "Did they finally teach you something you don't know? Did you talk to any cute girl? Did one of your friends do something stupid?"

"No, not really, and they do stupid things everyday," Light answered and Sayu sighed dramatically.

"You're no fun."

"I had to work with an annoying classmate," Light told her, not wanting his sister to start pouting.

"Annoying because they're not as smart as you?" She asked.

"No. Annoying because he thinks that he's smarter."

"Tell him to dream on," Sayu laughed.

"Thanks," Light replied.

No matter what he did or said Sayu would always think that he was the most wonderful person alive. He liked that feeling, but he used to be terrified that he would do something to make her notice that he was still only human.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Friday_

 _I am grounded. Since I can already tell you're not cringing at my words, allow me to repeat myself._

 _I am GROUNDED._

 _This means I'm stranded in my room (surrounded by Near's things) with no hope of escape for at least a month. What did I do to encourage such a terrible fate? I stood up for my best friend._

 _Yes, this is how friendship and loyalty is treated. Welcome to discipline, Mello. I'll explain what happened now…._

 _I usually don't write about it, but Matt or I getting picked on isn't an odd occurrence at school. People hate anything that is different from the norm, and being different is practically the Wammy's house motto. Nothing against Matt, but I'm tougher than he is. If someone tries to mess with me, I mess with them right back. Eventually they realize that it's better to leave me alone. When I'm with Matt, they leave him alone too. Unfortunately we only have a few classes together and have different lunch periods, so I can't protect him all the time._

 _Matt's pretty thick-skinned, so he handle his share of name calling, but recently this one kid (who's name will not me mentioned because I will be forced to deface it) has been determined to make Matt's life a living hell. Today he thought it would be fun to corner Matt after lunch, take his bag, and dump everything in it in the middle of the hall while a bunch of stupid middle schoolers trampled around._

 _Unfortunately for the asshole, I happened to be walking to lunch and saw what was going on. To be honest, I don't really remember running over. I don't remember when I launched myself at the guy either. But I definitely remember my fist making contract with his face once I had him pinned to the ground. I had to have punched him at least seven times before two teachers pulled me off. Yes, it took two adults to over power my attack of rage._

 _After that we were taken to the principal's office. Matt explained what happened, but, as usual, the bully was seen as the victim and the hero was seen as the attacker. I'm going have in-school-suspension for the next three days, and they said something about a mark on my permanent record, but I don't care about any of that. What I do care about is not being locked in toy hell with the albino devil._

 _I feel bad for Matt, he's blaming himself for me getting in trouble, but, if someone does that to him again, I'd hit them just as hard and face twice as much of a punishment. I wish I could talk to him right now, but conversation with friends falls under the things that delinquent children must live without. I did get to talk to L a little, though. That was interesting._

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _Mels attacked a bully for me. Nows he's in a load of trouble. Roger's really mad right now, but he'll probably calm down by tomorrow._

 _Since after we left the principal's office, no one asked me anything about what happened. I heard L talking to Mello once we got home. He closed to door after Mello said something about throwing the first punch and starting a fight not being the same thing._

 _I feel bad for Mello. Everyone's too hard on him, and he only hit the guy because he was picking on me. I know it's bad, but I'm a little happy right now too. I'm grateful that I have someone who would do something like that for me._

* * *

Light had intended to try, he really had, but the moment he picked up his pencil to write for the ridiculous prompt he felt every ounce of creativity drain from him. He hated every word that Ryuzaki had uttered to him, but the jerk was right about one thing. Light wasn't trying. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was that he was out of his element there were so many excuses for him to only put half of a care into the words scribbled on the paper. Giving in was against Light's nature, but there was nothing else he could do. At least he could use this was a way to spite Ryuzaki, who seemed to hate reading everything Light brought to the table as much as Light hated writing it.

Light made sure to make tonight's piece shorter than the pervious night's.

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 9th_

 _Prompt: A house plant is dying, tell it why it needs to live._

 _You're better than this! Don't let a little heat and dehydration beat you!_

 _I understand that life can be boring when you're a plant. Just sitting in your pot all day with no one to talk to or anything to entertain yourself with must be horrible, but it's better than nothing. I know how painful boredom can be, but it's not worth giving everything up for! Think of all the plants out there who don't even have a pot or a house with plenty of CO2! If they can make it through, so can you._

 _You're not a quitter._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Four_

 _May 9th_

 _A house plant is dying, tell it why it needs to live._

 _You're expecting an emotional speech, aren't you? You think that I'm just going to waltz into the room and bark at you about what life means and how you need to keep fighting. I guess I can't blame you for thinking I'd do that. I'm sure that it would be the approach that most people would take. It's probably the approach that I should take, but I'm not going to say any of those things, because, let's face it, you don't deserve to hear any of it._

 _Do you know how much work went into keeping you alive this long? Do you know how many times my siblings laughed at me and reasoned that I'd only be able to keep you around for a couple of weeks? Do you even remember how hard I had to beg to get you into this house in the first place?_

 _You owe me literally everything you have. Withering leaves and a wilting stem may not amount to much, but I sacrificed to let you keep that. The least that you can do for me it keep trying._

 _I don't have any control over when I die. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, or stabbed while walking home from school. You, however, have no excuse. As long as I keep watering you, your life is in your hands._

 _If you give up on it, I will give up on you. The choice is yours._


	6. Chapter Five

_Oh, well, I guess it's because... because I'm Kira_.

Light's usually neat handwriting was barely distinguishable as his quivering hands scribbled down the last line. He didn't register putting away his journal until he realized that he was locking his drawer. The key was shoved into his pocket with such force that the was surprised he hadn't ripped the fabric. Taking deep breaths, Light placed his head on his desk, covering it with his arms.

 _Just calm down_ , he told himself. _It was just a dream, forget about it._

But this wasn't the sort of dream that one could simple discarded the memory of, and Light knew this. He also knew that he needed to be downstairs in a few minutes so that he could eat breakfast and leave on time for school. He couldn't let his family know that anything was wrong with him, and he would need to get through the school day without anyone realizing that he was agitated.

 _It was just a dream._

* * *

Light had been weathering the school day fine until lunch came around. For a few fleeting moments he had even been able to forget what he dreamed about. Creative Writing class wasn't the hell that he thought it would be, and he had been able to talk to Ryuzaki without thinking about L. In fact, it had surprised him how easy it had been to talk to Ryuzaki without his mind drifting back to the dream. Not that it was ever easy to talk to Ryuzaki in general.

It wasn't surprising that what had brought Light down was seeing Naomi Misora. He had though that maybe he would be able to get through his meal if he didn't talk to her, but the second his eyes rested on their table he realized that he couldn't be in the same area as her without feeling like he was going to throw up.

What the hell was wrong with him? There was no point in feeling guilty when in reality he hadn't done anything to her. In reality he hadn't done anything, his dream-self had.

His dream-self killed her.

The subconscious version of Light that he had always felt was so much like how he actually was and how he wanted to be had killed an innocent woman because she was in his way. When he dreamed he killed Raye Penber and the other FBI agents it hadn't bothered him very much because they weren't people from the real world. Naomi was different. He knew Naomi.

The dreams were peculiar, but they felt real even after Light woke up. Did that mean that he would really kill innocents? Sure, his dream-self was trying to create a better world, but was that a good enough excuse to take the life of someone who hadn't done anything wrong? Could he be a murderer?

Light wrenched himself out of his thoughts, and back to the present. He could feel his arms shaking and his heartbeat increasing. This was not the time of place for him to loose it. He would not have a breakdown in the middle of school.

Taking a deep breath, Light walked past his table and to one in the corner of the room where only one person was sitting. As he walked, Light tried to ignore the people around him and did not risk glancing at his group of friends. He forced a pleasant expression on his face. He had always been good at acting calm and confident when he was feeling the exact opposite. In the dream that had helped when he was talking to Naomi-

Light violently pushed that thought away.

"Hello, Ryuzaki," Light greeted the one person sitting at the table that he had made a beeline for.

Ryuzaki looked up from the piece of strawberry cake that he had been eating, and set down the book had he had been holding eye level with two fingers. Light sat down across from him. He was grateful that the boy had chosen a table in the corner of the room, that way Light could sit with his back to the full lunchroom.

"Did you need to discuss your writing with me?" Ryuzaki asked as he stared.

"No." Light knew that he should have realized that him choosing to sit with Ryuzaki instead of his group would look a bit odd. However, he wasn't going to offer a reason, mainly because he didn't have one. The best tactic right now would be for him to change the subject. "Do you ever eat food that isn't covered in sugar?"

"I cannot think without sugar," Ryuzaki answered. "If I ate something else it would reduce my capabilities by forty percent."

"But it can't be healthy for you," Light pointed out. "You could get diabetes or another disease."

"Are you sitting here so that you can lecture me on my eat habits?" Ryuzaki's voice was dripping with annoyance, and he added flatly: "I prefer to eating alone than arguing with someone."

"Sorry," Light knew that he shouldn't have tried to start a conversation that pointed out how weird he thought Ryuzaki was. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, you can stay as long as you do no lecture of insult me," Ryuzaki replied evenly.

"I think I can manage that," Light let himself smile a little as he said this. His arms weren't shaking anymore, and he could feel his nerves calming down. Talking helped, he needed to keep the conversation going. "What are you reading?"

Ryuzaki held up the book cover for Light to see.

"The A.B.C. Murders," Light mused. "Didn't know you were a Agatha Christie fan."

"There isn't much that you do know about me," Ryuzaki said curtly. He seemed to think better on this comment, however, for he added: "I've read a few of her books before this one. I enjoy reading mysteries as long as they are well written."

 _Mysteries. Detective. L. Kira._

"Do you have a favorite book?" Light was beginning to feel sick again, but hoped it didn't show in his voice. He just needed to keep Ryuzaki talking so that he could focus on him.

"I don't usually choose favorites," Ryuzaki answered him as he took a bite of his cake. "And this would be an arduous task considering how many I have read."

"You prefer reading to watching TV or movies?" Light hoped that he didn't sound like he was interviewing or interrogating Ryuzaki. Hopefully the boy's social skills were so poor that he wouldn't be able to tell this exchange apart from a normal conversation.

"I am not a fan of most modern entertainment," Ryuzaki's voice sounded a little dryer than usual.

"I can relate to that," Light commented.

"Do you read, Yagami?" This was the first question that Ryuzaki had asked since they had stopped talking about how he ate.

"In my nonexistent spare time," Light's attempt as a joke was ruined by the queazy feeling that hadn't quite left yet. "You can call me Light, by the way. Since I call you by your nick name."

"Everyone at school calls me Ryuzaki," the boy replied. "It's more of a fake name than a nick name."

 _Because his real name is L. Because he is the L that is hunting down Kira. The same Kira who kills people who happen to be in his way._

"Would you rather everyone call by your real name?"

 _His real name is L._

"No."

"I don't think that most people at this school realize that it's not your real name."

 _L._

"You're right they don't," Ryuzaki took another bite of his cake and Light vaguely realized that he hadn't taken his food out yet. He tried to keep talking but he couldn't concentrate.

 _L. Kira._

"Light, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He wasn't.

 _L. Kira. Shinigami. Death Note._

"Are you sure, your look a little pale?"

 _Murderer._

"On second thought, I need to use the restroom. Can you watch my bag?"

"Yes."

 _Murderer._

Light took a few shaky steps before giving up and running out of the lunchroom.

 _Murderer. Murderer. Murderer!_

Light made it into a bathroom stall before throwing up.

* * *

It took all of lunch for Light to be able to compose himself once more. He barely had enough time to dash back to the table and grab his things before bolting to his next class. Ryuzaki didn't ask what was wrong. That had been a relief, for Light was not in the mood to make up an excuse for loosing his stomach.

For the rest of the school day Light kept a brave face. He doubted that anyone would have been able to tell the mess that he was. By the time that he arrived home he actually felt that he had calmed down a little. Sayu tried to talk to him, but he told her that he needed to get started on his homework immediately or else he would be up all night completing it. She called him an over achiever, but relented.

Once Light was alone in his room he was finally able to breath. His mind switched to auto pilot as he completed his assignments, but had to focus once more when he reached his last one. Light knew that he needed to start putting more effort into Creative Writing, no matter how tedious the class was he didn't want it to hurt his grade average. Sighing, he glanced at the prompt Ms. Kawaguchi had given.

 _Begin a letter: "I am telling you this story because you are the only one who will not judge me..."_

Only one thing came to mind and Light didn't know if he would be able to get through writing it without getting sick again. But he wanted to get rid of the assignment and it might help to see a reflection of what was bothering him on paper. Especially since he hadn't written a detailed entry in his log that morning, thinking at that time that it was better in jot down what happened and try not to think about it. Ms. Kawaguchi didn't give a required length this time, so he could always stop after covering the first page.

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 11th_

 _Prompt: Begin a letter: "I am telling you this story because you are the only one who will not judge me..."_

 _I am telling you this story because you are the only one who will not judge me. I'm sorry that you will now have to know it, but I think I'll go insane if I'm the only one with this information. Well, I'll go more insane than I already am._

 _It happened yesterday, I can't tell you what I was doing, but she was there. I can't tell what she was doing either, but it meant bad news for me and I had to get rid of her. This was the first time that she and I actually met, and it was clear that she had no idea who I was. That was a relief, and I used it to my advantage._

 _I could tell right away that she was smart. Smarter than her fiancé had been. Smarter than most of the people trying to catch me. But not as smart as me._

 _I killed her._

 _Without batting an eyelid I killed her._

 _At first I was gleeful. One less person was on to me, and my trail was completely covered. I didn't have anyone to gloat to, but I could feel the pride welling up inside of my chest. Then it left._

 _It took a day for me to fully realize what I had done and what it made me. Now I can't breath. I can't do anything._

 _I'm sorry that you have to read this, but someone needs to know._

 _She's dead because of me._

 _And, if you tell anyone, you're next._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Five_

 _May 11th_

 _Prompt: Begin a letter: "I am telling you this story because you are the only one who will not judge me..."_

 _I am telling you this story because you are the only one who will not judge me. I guess I won't be around to stop you from showing this to the others, but please don't. This is for your eyes only, the other letter is for the rest of the world._

 _First off, I'm sorry. Sorry that I had to do this, sorry that someone as wonderful as you ended up being my friend, and sorry that you'll be the one who finds me. You're always the one that finds me._

 _You know how it started. You know that they left, but I never let you see how much it hurt me. Initially this was because I didn't want to let anyone in, I wanted to protect myself. But it turned into me wanting to protect you from the hurt that I kept bottle up. I knew that it would explode at some point, I was always a ticking time bomb._

 _Thank you for being there, because you're the middle to my story and only good part about it. But you still weren't enough to stop the end. No one could have been._

 _This is how it ends, please don't hold it against me, but I give up._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sending virtual strawberries to Death By Heart DBH and Corliss Kat for reviewing! Thanks also to those who favorited and followed and whoever is reading this right now. Please review! ;-)


	7. Chapter Six

When Light handed Ryuzaki his paper he was already prepared for the cynical criticism that he would get back after reading Ryuzaki's carefully written story. Compared to the day before, Light thought that he was doing pretty good. Ryuzaki's story made his blood start to grow cold once more.

 _Suicide._

Why did everything have to remind him of the dreams? Why couldn't he have a short break so he could catch his breath and prepare to solider on? It wasn't fair.

What also wasn't fair was that, had it not reminded him of Naomi, Light knew he would have enjoyed reading Ryuzaki's story. It was dark and emotional without going overboard and that was, dare he admit it, exactly what Light liked about reading whatever Ryuzaki wrote. He never told his classmate this, because, frankly, he didn't deserve to heard it. Yet that didn't make it any less true.

"Tell me what's wrong with it," Light said as he turned around in his chair. Ryuzaki always finished reading before him, so they started the discussion the moment Light was done.

"It's good," Ryuzaki replied and Light considered getting his hearing checked.

"What?"

"This is the first time your wrote something that is not lacking or plain rubbish," Ryuzaki said to him. "Well done."

"Thanks, I guess." Light said slowly, still not trusting anything that Ryuzaki said to him in this classroom.

That day Ms. Kawaguchi went around the class, reading certain group's assignments. Light and Ryuzaki's conversation stopped once she reached their desks. With out saying anything to either of them, Kawaguchi took Light's story off of Ryuzaki's desk read it, put it back, and did the same with the paper sitting on Light's desk.

"Dark," she said to the both of them after finishing. "I see why the two of you are partners."

"Do you have anything to say about my story?" Ryuzaki asked once their teacher left.

"I liked it," Light couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. Well, it was technically fair, since Ryuzaki hadn't insulted him that day.

"I see," Ryuzaki sounded pensive. "You don't think that I needed dialogue?"

"Shut up," Light told him, but he couldn't help laughing.

His laughter died the second the class ended and his thoughts returned to the hell that he didn't know how to escape.

* * *

Sayu was staring at Light from across the table. He hadn't glanced in her direction, but he could feel her eyes fixed on him so intensely it surprised him that they weren't radiating heat. Their mother was cleaning up the kitchen and their father hadn't come home from work yet (not to Light surprise). Neither sibling had said a word for the entire meal, and Light started to wish that she would babble about something stupid and pointless like Ryuga Hideki or whichever celebrity she was currently obsessed with.

"Are you feeling okay?" Sayu finally asked, puncturing the quiet with a blunt needle.

Light felt like he wanted to scream, punch something, and cry all at the same time.

"I'm fine," he answered.

"Is that kid at school still bugging you or something?" She asked, her voice slipping closer to neutrality.

"Actually he was civil today," Light answered. He had been civil at lunch the day before when he had witnessed the beginning of Light's mini-panic attack.

"Probably realized how much of an annoying genius you are," Sayu stated.

"Probably," Light wasn't in the mood to argue over the word 'annoying.' "How was your day, Sayu?"

"Fine," she mimicked the way he had said the word a moment ago.

"That's good." This was the most forced conversation the two of them had in a while. Light hated the feeling of it. He decided that he wasn't very hungry anyway, and used this as an excuse to flee to his room and not leave it until next morning.

* * *

For the first time in years Light didn't do his homework. That didn't mean he had blown all of his assignments off, he just had not started or completed his nightly writing prompt. When he had decided to skip it, the action had not felt like a big deal. Yet, now, as he walked to class, he could feel regret coursing through him like an injected poison. He didn't want to deal with missing an assignment, he could barely face the shame of being a lousy student in the class.

That was why Light turned around and walked in the opposite direction of his classroom. He hadn't full registered what he was doing as he strode off of campus with his false air of confidence. He didn't stop walking until he reached the mall not far from the school. The day before he had walked to the same place to eat lunch, since he hadn't been up to finding ways to converse with Ryuzaki, and definitely had not felt up to sitting with his friends.

Light sat at the same sandwich shop that he had the day before. He didn't order anything this time; he didn't feel like eating. Instead Light started the homework that he would have that night. Math problems ended up being the best way to distract himself and keep his thoughts geared away from Kira and how Ryuzaki had made his first face-to-face appearance in the dream. Light enjoyed math. It wasn't confusing as long as you knew the rules and formulas. There was always a right answer, and everything else was incorrect; math didn't have frustrating gray areas. It was relaxing.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day One_

 _Something is wrong with my brother. I mean, aside from the normal things that are wrong with him. By normal things I mean his pride issues (arrogance included), OCD tendencies (I wanted to get him tested, but Mom and Dad said no), and obsession over success (in literally everything that he does)._

 _Yeah...that's all old news and definitely unfixable by any human on this earth (believe me, I've tired). I'm talking about a new problem that he is obviously dealing with, but refuses to talk anyone about (typical stupid genius). So (like any good little sister would) I am going to not only find out what's bothering him, I am going to fix it._

 _And, in order to accomplish this, I need to spy on him with out him figuring out. Normally this would be impossible (I should have added paranoia to the list of his issues), so saying that I'm confident I'll be able to find out what's wrong shows how messed up he is in the first place. Whatever the issue is, it's seriously distracting him and not in a good way._

 _If you're asking "Sayu, how can a distraction be a good thing?" then you clearly have not met my brother (or me for that mater, and if a stranger is reading this journal then I'm concerned). A pleasant distraction is something that I greatly wish my brother had. He gets too wound up over school, and needs a hobby or a person that can help him get away from stress. However, right now he's not neglecting what he deem priorities because he found a constrictive outlet, he's a carefully concealed nervous wreck._

 _I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one who noticed this, which is to be expected. Nothing against Mom and Dad, they're the best parents that either of us could ask for, but it's easier for kids to hid things from parents than it is to conceal stuff from siblings. I know my brother well, better than he thinks I do. There may have been a time where he could pull the wool over my eyes, but I'm 14 now and a lot smarter than I look._

 _Light, I don't care if you don't want my help, you're getting it. I promise._

* * *

Light's cell phone was ringing from where it sat on his desk. Light was lying face up on his bed with all of his lights on and did not want to stand up to answer his phone. He let in ring five more times before crawling up. The phone number wasn't one that he recognized, but since he had trouble himself by moving to retrieve the device he figured that he might as well answer it.

"Hello?" He asked as he flipped the phone open.

"You cut class today," said a voice that could only belong to one person.

"Hello, Ryuzaki. How the hell did you get this number?" Light was not in a good mood.

"Miss Amane gave it to me," Ryuzaki answered.

"Willingly?"

"I had to assure her that I am not stalking you," Ryuzaki replied smoothly.

"I doubt she believes that," Light muttered.

"No, but I think she is convinced that my infatuation with you will die out if she doesn't interfere."

"Infatuation with me?" Light didn't know if he should laugh or hang up. Maybe both…

"I know, it's unfair that I am viewed as the obsessed one when you are the one who wanted to be my partner for class and decided to sit with me at lunch."

"Why are you calling me?" Light did not have the patients to talk to this person right now.

"I already told you. You cut class," Ryuzaki responded.

"Why do you care if I cut class?" Light asked.

"You are my partner, when you are absent I have nothing to do," he answered.

"I'm surprised she didn't make you join another group," Light voiced.

"Oh, she did. Maybe a better way to phrase that would be: when you are absent I do nothing." Ryuzaki admitted. "I did have to join another group, that was when I asked Amane for your number."

"Look," Light was done with this conversation. "I'm sorry that you had to work with Misa, because I skipped. Is that all that you have to tell me."

"No, I also have to tell you your homework, since we will not have a prompt to discuss if you don't complete your half." Ryuzaki was either enjoying tormenting him or had no idea that Light desired to end the phone call.

"I could just bring today's one," Light argued.

"Yes you could, if you had actually written it," Ryuzaki replied.

"Who the hell told you that I didn't do it?" Light demanded, feeling what he refused to call paranoia fill him.

"You did, just now." Light didn't have to see Ryuzaki to know that he was smirking.

"Very clever." Now the only thing that Light was filled with was irritation.

"I agree."

"I'm hanging up now," Light threatened.

"If you want to rudely hang up on me I cannot stop you, but at least let me tell you the prompt first." Ryuzaki sounded so reasonable, that Light was forced to relent.

"Fine. What it is?" Light waited Ryuzaki to answer, still unsure if he would actually write it.

"Write a story that is only dialogue."

"Really?" Light questioned. "That's it."

"Yes."

"That's really simple," Light laughed. "Just write a script."

"Or a phone call."

"Ryuzaki," Light froze. "You're not using this conversation as your story, are you?"

"Of course not," Ryuzaki dismissed. "How are you supposed to critique a conversation that you were a part of."

"Right, silly me," Light closed his eyes. "I'm actually going to go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryuzaki hung up before him.

* * *

 _Light Yagami's Sleep Diary_

 _Time: 20:48_

 _Day: 13th_

 _Month: May_

 _Year: Omitted_

 _I am done letting these dreams me rule my life. Because of my reaction to the more recent dreams I have fallen behind in my studies, cut a class for the first time since junior high, and aloud these behaviors to be noticed by someone who I do not consider an ally. I know that something is wrong with me, and I know that I can't fully stop it from affecting my behavior, but no matter what my dream-self does I am not going to break down at school (or anywhere in public) ever again._

 _It's possible that they only way not let this destroy me is not to fight it. I don't know what is causing the dream, and I don't know how to stop them, so maybe the best thing for me to do right now is accept that they are going to be a part of my life for the time being. In order to do this I need to stop judging my dream-self. I know that he is an extension of myself, and I guess what scared me was how alike we are._

 _Up until he killed Raye Penber and Namoi I didn't see any difference between him and I, and the only reason that I felt I was different is because it sickened me to think that I would go to that extend to achieve my goals. Yet, is it wrong to go to any extend to create a peaceful and just world? When I think about it with a cool head, I know that it's the right thing to do. I know it's what I would do._

 _I'm ready to keep moving forward. In both reality and these dreams._

* * *

Light closed his journal, and transcribed his phone call with Ryuzaki for his prompt _._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Seven_

 _May 13th_

 _Write a story that is only dialogue._

 _"_ _Who started it?"_

 _"_ _You mean who threw the first punch, but that's not the same thing."_

 _"_ _Why did you hit him?"_

 _"_ _Why should I tell you? I don't need you to fucking judge me."_

 _"_ _Isn't there a rule about language in the house?"_

 _"_ _Do I look like I give a fuck?"_

 _"_ _Now you're just over using it."_

 _"_ _Shut up."_

 _"_ _Alright, I will sit here in silence until to tell me what happened."_

 _"_ _..."_

 _"_ _..."_

 _"_ _He was harassing Mail."_

 _"_ _How?"_

 _"_ _Called him a bunch of names and spilt everything in his bag all over the hallway during a passing period."_

 _"_ _..."_

 _"_ _Don't say that I should have just told a teacher, because Mail did, but it never makes a difference."_

 _"_ _This has happened before?"_

 _"_ _It happens every fucking day! The only reason I'm not targeted is because I'm not afraid to give the assholes a few punches, but Mail doesn't want to. He doesn't like to disappoint Roger or Wammy, you know when he's actually around."_

 _"_ _So you attacked the boy for him."_

 _"_ _I would have pounded his ugly face in if they hadn't dragged me off of him. I know. Violence is bad and all that shit, but what was I supposed to do?"_

 _"_ _You did the right thing."_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _You did the right thing. That boy deserved it and Mail needs to know that someone's on his side. I'm not saying that I liked the idea of you putting yourself in harms way, but I would have done the same thing in that situation."_

 _"_ _Thanks."_

 _"_ _And, Mihael?"_

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Don't tell Roger I said that."_

 _"_ _Got it."_

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sending virtual cake to MasqueradingChaos, Animelover5008, Death By Heart DBH, Corliss Kat, and Guest for reviewing!


	8. Chapter Seven

"Very funny," Ryuzaki said in a voice that lacked all humor.

"I agree," Light replied in the best imitation of Ryuzaki that he could attempt.

"When I made you think that I was going to use the call as my story, it was meant to be a joke," he told Light dryly.

"I know it was."

"And you realize that you did not ask my permission to use my name or words?" Ryuzaki asked pointedly.

"Yes I do."

"Light," Ryuzaki spoke his name very slowly. "Do you understand what plagiarism is?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child," Light told him flatly.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to treat you like an adult when I'm suing you," Ryuzaki almost looked like he was pouting. It was terrifying.

"You're just upset that you can't insult me without insulting things that you said yourself," Light said dismissively. "You're not going to sue me for a school assignment."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

 _Yeah_ , Light thought. _Definitely pouting._

"Do you have anything to say about my writing, or should we move onto yours?" Light asked with a grin.

If looks could kill, the expression that Ryuzaki was sending him would have sent Light to an early grave.

"Alright," Light having more fun than he'd had in weeks. "I'll take that as vote for the later."

Ryuzaki's glare did not falter. Light's grin widened.

"For starters, why do you always write for the same two characters?" Light had been wondering this for a while.

"They're not characters," Ryuzaki's anger faded as he said this.

"You're threatening to sue me for writing about you when practically everything you write is about real people as well?" If Light wasn't in such and alarmingly good mood, this fact would have angered him.

"I have permission to use them in my writing," Ryuzaki explained. "You were given not given this from me."

"Fair enough," Light allowed. "But why do you keep using them?"

Ryuzaki shrugged.

"Write from what you know."

* * *

When the class ended, Light didn't take his time with leaving the way that he usually did. He had planned to bolt from the classroom the moment that they were dismissed so that he could catch up to the flurry of hid peers who did they same thing. He needed to have a word with one of these students.

"Misa, could I talk to you for a minute?" He asked the perky blond politely.

"Of course, Light!" She giggled, and he chose to ignore the blush that had donned her cheeks. "What is it?"

"Did Ryuzaki ask you for my cell phone number yesterday?" He asked her in the cool and even tone he knew drew girls to him.

"I am _so_ sorry about that," she babbled, her cheeks were burning red now. "He just kept asking me, and he said that he only wanted to check on you- I knew that I shouldn't have given it to him, I'm sorry! Oh God, I encouraged him stalking you!"

"Misa," Light held up a hand to silence her. "It's fine. Ryuzaki just wanted to make sure that I got my homework after missing class yesterday."

She didn't say anything to this, and Light took it as his cue to keep talking.

"You just mentioned that you thought he was stalking me," Light began. "Is that what people are saying?"

"No!" It was clear that Misa had only answered this because she had reasoned it was what Light wanted to hear. This speculation was confirmed when she promptly added: "Maybe some people. But that's just silly gossip! No one ever believes it!"

Light refrained from pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Is that all that people are saying?"

Light knew that if people were judging him for spending a fraction of his time with Ryuzaki, Misa didn't want to be the one to tell him this. So when she said there weren't any other rumors floating around the school, Light accepted that he wasn't going to get anything else out of her. He ended their conversation by thanking her and saying that he had to go. Thankfully Misa didn't realize that they were both headed to lunch and did not try to walk with him.

Light walked slowly, knowing that he had to force himself to make a choice. That morning he had found that accepting the dreams had been easier than he though it would be, but he knew that it would be wise to pace himself. He may be able to refrain from questioning his sanity for a few hours, but he knew that part of him was still a little freaked out. Sitting with his friends meant seeing Naomi and he didn't want to find that he wasn't ready for this when it was too late. Swallowing his pride, Light made his way to the back corner of the lunchroom to the table that Ryuzaki had just sat down at.

When Light sat down, Ryuzaki glanced up from his book. He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Light didn't try to start a conversation either, letting Ryuzaki return to his reading and eating another sugar filled lunch. Light noticed that the book he was reading wasn't the same one that he had three days prior. This wasn't surprising, for Light knew that Ryuzaki was a fast reader.

Lunch passed as quickly as it could with neither boy choosing to break the comfortable silence. Once Light had finished eat, he took some of his homework out of his bag and worked until the period was over. He knew that some of his peers were definitely judging him for spending his time with Ryuzaki, but, for the moment, Light didn't mind. It was true that Ryuzaki was a weirdo and could be a jerk, but, for some reason, his presence was relaxing. Light wasn't sure what to make of that.

* * *

 _Find a photograph. Write the story of what's happening outside the frame._

Light didn't have any pictures in his room that would work for the assignment, so he found himself flipping through the family album that his mother kept in the living room.

"What are you doing?" He heard his sister ask as she walked into the room.

"Sayu, don't you have homework?" Light asked, not looking up from the photo album.

"Maybe." She walked over to him, making a face when she saw a picture that she had deemed herself particularly unflattering in. "Why are you looking at old pictures?"

"It's for school," he answered. "I need to write a story about what's happening outside of the picture."

Sayu flipped the page of the photo album, and pointed to a picture of him taken about a year ago.

"You should use that one," Sayu suggested.

Light looked over the photo. It had been taken on the first day of school the pervious year by their mother. There were multiple photos like this in the album, Light never understood their parent's need to document everything but at least it came in handy in times such as this.

"Sure, why not," Light slid the picture out of the plastic sleeve. "Now go do your homework."

Sayu rolled her eyes.

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 14th_

 _Prompt: Find a photograph. Write the story of what's happening outside the frame._

 _Sayu twisted a strand of her hair around her finger as she swung her legs under her chair. She glanced over from her spot at the dinner table to see her mother taking another picture of her brother. Knowing that she'd be next, Sayu did her best to straighten her crumpling uniform. She had intended to iron the shirt that morning, but had chosen sleep over looks. Now she regretted the decision._

 _It was the first day of seventh-grade, and, as she ate her breakfast, Sayu could feel her nerves awakening. Although she was attending the same school that she had been the previous year, a new year meant new drama and new insecurities. Pushing these thoughts aside, Sayu joined her brother at the other side of the room, letting her mother take another picture._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Seven_

 _May 14th_

 _Find a photograph. Write the story of what's happening outside the frame._

 _The birthday party was noisy and disorderly, two things that most of the residents of the house regarded with a strong distaste. Being the oldest, I knew that it would be the easiest for me to find an opportunity to slip out of the room and retreat to the safety of privacy. However, I knew that it would be rude to abandon the others who I knew were suffering as much as I was._

 _Mail seemed to be fairing rather well, too absorbed in his game to pay much attention to the excitement. His attitude was the opposite of aware, but at least he wasn't bored. Mihael was doing his best to convey his indifference to his surroundings, and as a result was being ignored by almost everyone. He had even managed to duck out of the sight lines of every camera that had tried to point at him. Nate occupied himself the way that he always did, but it was clear that he would rather be playing with his toys in his own room than in this over crowded area._

 _When I did find and use my opportunity to leave, I knew it wouldn't take long for the three of them to do so as well. The flashing of disposable cameras and cheerful ambiance had never been our scene. It was easier for us to embrace the quiet than try to fill it with a noise that didn't belong, no matter how happy the noise may seem._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I can't believe that I forgot to say this back in chapter two, but a majority of the writing prompts that I use come from the books 642 Things To Write About and 712 More Things To Write About. If you're ever out of ideas I highly recommend these books.

Huge thank you to Animelover5008, Death By Heart DBH, and Corliss Kat for reviewing!


	9. Chapter Eight

Light knew that, no matter how much he accepted the dreams, it would still be hard to keep them off of his mind as he went about his everyday life. He had known that at times this would be distracting, but had hoped that he would be able to weather this and would not find it upsetting the way that he had countless times before. However, Light was unprepared for the feeling of curiosity that filled him each time he thought of everything that had happened the previous night. As he went about his day it was nearly impossible to turn his thoughts away from the appearance of the mysterious Second Kira. Come Creative Writing class, Light was grateful for the distraction. He was far from in the mood to listen to Ryuzaki's cynical comments without having something else to think about.

"Your writing has reverted back to it's usual lackluster state," Ryuzaki told him the moment he finished reading Light's prompt.

"And how did you reach this conclusion?" Light quickly thought better of this question and added: "Never mind, I don't really care."

"Exactly," Ryuzaki continued anyway. "When did you decided that your childish obsession with success excluded this class?"

That comment more than offended Light.

"You don't know me, what makes you think that I have an obsession with success?" Light left out the word 'childish,' although he felt it matched Ryuzaki more than it did himself.

"Your grades rival mine," Ryuzaki said simply. "You would have to be a perfectionist to achieve that."

"That means that you're also and perfectionist who has 'a childish obsession with success'," Light said.

"Yes, but at least I am consistent and not afraid to admit it."

That was when Light's annoyance became impossible to ignore. How on earth had he found this person tolerable? It was true Ryuzaki had laid off berating him for a few days, but why had Light thought that it meant he was going to be a nice person?

 _I hope Kira kills you,_ Light thought bitterly, then froze. He had just referred to the dream almost as if it was a reality and he wasn't freaking out. In fact, he felt great.

"Being a diligent is not the same as being neurotic," Light broke from his thoughts to say Ryuzaki.

"I never said it was," Ryuzaki defended. "But I would say that you are both of those things."

"And what does that make you?" Light inquired.

"The same, but, again, I am not ashamed to admit it."

To this Light could only roll his eyes.

"Do you even want my opinion on your work, or am I waisting my breath talking to you?" He asked, trying to turn the subject away from dysfunctions that Ryuzaki was convinced the two of them shared.

"Do you have any comments?"

"Not really," Light admitted.

"Then you are waisting your breath."

"Thank you for your honesty," Light said blandly.

They sat quietly for a moment. Light's mind wandered back into thoughts of his dream until Ryuzaki broke the quiet with a rather awkward question.

"Light, are we friends?"

"What?" Light couldn't help himself from blurting. How on earth was he supposed to respond to that question? Of course they weren't friends, but Light could tell that was not the answer that Ryuzaki was going for.

"I'm not very familiar with the guidelines for normal friendships, so I assumed that I have broken them more than once." Ryuzaki had an expression that Light found impossible to read.

"A few times, if you're counting all of the comments you've made about me."

"I see."

That was when the class ended, and Light did not miss his opportunity to get the hell out of there. Once he was safely in the hall he stopped himself from reflecting on what Ryuzaki had just asked him. He didn't know what Ryuzaki had meant, and didn't want to think about how rude he had just been if the question was actually being voiced sincerely.

At lunch Light did not sit with Ryuzaki.

* * *

There were times when Light marveled at how clever and accurate his subconscious could be, and there were times when Light could not believe the ideas that entered his not-awake mind. Misa Amane was the second Kira. _Misa Amane_.

Despite find her crush on him irritating, Light didn't think much of the girl. He was shocked to find that he could dream her up as a killer. He doubted that the Misa Amane he knew would hurt a fly, much less kill people on a level than not even Light had gone yet. Light supposed that his subconscious was determined to upset him in some way, and having failed to elicit more panic attacks it had gone for a different angle of shock. A completely different angle.

It was a Saturday, so Light was in charge of getting his own breakfast. As he trailed into the kitchen, his mind stayed fixed on the absurdity of Misa Amane being the second Kira. While Light was poor milk on his cereal, Sayu bounced into the room.

"Good morning," she greeted him happily.

"Morning," he replied in a voice that was a little more tired than he had intended it to be.

Sayu took the cereal that Light had left on the counter and poured herself a large amount.

"Sayu, do you remember Misa Amane?" Light asked before his tried mind could stop him.

"That girl who was in love with you?" She responded with a grin.

"I wouldn't say she was _in love_ with me exactly-"

"But she was," Sayu cut him off. "What about her?"

"What did you think about her?"

"Oh my God! Do you actually like her back now?" It was hard to tell if Sayu was excited or disgusted.

"No," Light answered without missing a beat. "Not at all, I just saw her the other day and was thinking about her."

"Sure," Sayu drew out the word.

"I'm not interested in her," Light barked in his defense. "She's not my type."

"Do you even have a type?" Sayu made a face as she asked this.

"Maybe."

No.

"Never mind, forget I brought her up," Light picked up his bowl and walked out of the room.

That entire conversation had been a bad idea, but Light told himself not to worry about it. Sayu would probably take his advise and forget that he brought up Misa Amane within the next hour.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Three_

 _I am glad to report that I have made some progress. A while ago I figured that whatever is eating at Light has to effect how he acts at school. I don't think that this means that his school friends know that something's wrong with him, but I'm sure that his behavior lately has been at least a little different. Now, I've known this for the past few days, but only today did I realize how to use it to my advantage._

 _At breakfast Light started talking about Misa Amane (a girl who was in love with him two years ago, and still is apparently). That was when the idea struct me. If anyone knows what's wrong with Light it'll be a girl who's so googly-eyes for him she used to follow him around!_

 _I met Misa a couple times two years ago, and she gave me her number back then. Her reason had been incase I needed advise about boys and junior high (stuff that only a high school girl would know about), but I think she just wanted to impress Light by getting along with me. So, anyway, I called her and asked if she wanted to meet my at the mall today. That was when I got to the fun part of my plan: interrogation!_

 _Of course, I couldn't let Misa know that I was interrogating her, so I had to pretend I actually wanted some girl talk while we shopped, but that was pretty fun to. Misa likes to gossip and Light doesn't normally talk about people at high-school unless I force him to, but high-school drama is soooo much more interesting than junior high drama._

 _After a while I thought that it was safe to bring up the subject of Light._

 _Me: I wish my brother talked to me about school like this, he's so boring sometimes. Do the two of you still hang out?_

 _I couldn't directly ask if she had noticed anything suspicious, because I didn't want her or anyone else at Light's school to know that something was going on._

 _Misa: Oh, not that much recently. (Note: she looked pretty sad as she told me this.) But we have a few classes together._

 _Me: That's nice. I've always been jealous of how popular the two of you are._

 _Misa: Well, Misa has a few friends, but Light has tons! (Note: Misa, tends to talk in the third person, and I think she just said the thing about not having a lot of friends to sound modest.) Which is what makes it so weird that..._

 _Misa tends to think out loud, and a statement like this was whatI was going for. I had to approach the subject carefully (but not super carefully, because I am his sister so she wouldn't be extremely cautious)._

 _Me: What's weird?_

 _Misa: Oh nothing really, it's just that for some reason your brother keeps hanging out with this weirdo- Not that Misa's insulting Light's taste, he can hang out with whoever he want's to!_

 _Me: No, he has pretty bad taste._

 _This wasn't exactly true, but I needed Misa to feel like I was on her side so that she wouldn't change the subject._

 _Me: So who's the weirdo?_

 _Misa: Just this guy in our grade who doesn't know how to sit or talk like a normal person._

 _Me: Maybe Light's spending time with him out of pity?_

 _Misa: That's what I thought, but I'm getting worried that he might be stalking Light._

 _Me: Really?_

 _Misa: Well he's pretty creepy. Plus asked me for Light's phone number to other day._

 _Me: Oh._

 _I think at this point Misa realized that this wasn't the best conversation to be having with Light's little sister._

 _Misa: But Misa doesn't think you should worry about it! Light's super smart, so he can take care of himself._

 _Me: You're right._

 _I let a beat of silence pass before asking the next question._

 _Me: What was the guy's name? Just so I'll know if Light talks about him at home._

 _Misa: Misa thinks it's Ryuzaki Lawliet._

 _We kept shopping for about an hour after that, but I didn't get anymore helpful information. I'm not sure how much of what Misa said I should take seriously. Ryuzaki Lawliet might be a stalker like she said or he might just be Light's friend. Either way, I need to get more information on this guy. Wow, I feel like a detective!_

 _That's everything for today, I'll write more next lead I get!_

* * *

Light was not guilty. Vexed? Sure. Embarrassed? Maybe. But he was certainly not guilty. It was clear to him that his awkward conversation about friendship was the reason that the Ryuzaki (or L) in his dream had told him that he was his first friend. Of course not long after that Light had made plans to kill L once and for all, but he wasn't going to let that fact bother him right now.

When Ryuzaki had asked him if they were friends, he hadn't responded completely in the negative. That is, he hadn't said no. Then again, in response to that question anything other than a yes would be considered a no. But what did he owe Ryuzaki? The guy was constantly insulting and acting superior to him. It may look like Light was the bad guy in the situation, but Ryuzaki had asked the question just as he finished calling Light an obsessive perfectionist.

Then again, Light was the one who chose to keep spending time with him when he really only needed to see him for one class. Truthfully, Light enjoyed talking to Ryuzaki when he wasn't insulting him. Sure he was a total oddball, but for some reason being around him had helped when Light was cracking under the pressure of his dreams. Come to think of it, the only reason that Light didn't consider them friends was probably because of how weird Ryuzaki was. How shallow did that make Light feel!

That day Light decided that he would be nice to Ryuzaki during class, to make himself feel better if nothing else. Unfortunately for Light, that day Kawaguchi had decided to fill the entire class period with an actual lesson, leaving Light with the feeling that he still refused to call guilt. Knowing the only way to resolve it and make some sort of friendly gesture to Ryuzaki would be to sit with him that day at lunch, Light resolved to do just that.

Ryuzaki was once again eating cake, and Light couldn't resist commenting on it.

"Do you make all of the pastries and cake that you eat yourself, or are your parents alright with you buying that much sugar?" Light made sure to keep his tone even so that Ryuzaki wouldn't rush to the conclusion that Light was judging him basted on his choice of food.

"Watari gave me permission a few years ago to buy as much sugar as I wanted after I made it clear how well I am able to academically perform with it in my system." Ryuzaki took another bite cake as if to strengthen his point.

"Who's Watari?" Light genuinely wanted to know. It was odd for even a teenager to refer to a parent by their first name.

"Watari is my nickname for the man who runs my foster home," Ryuzaki answered in a voice that was almost monotone. "You were incorrect in assuming that I have parents."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that," Light hated that he was babbling. Hearing that statement had surprised Light, sure he and Ryuzaki had never been close, but they had been classmates for years. How had Light not known that he was a foster kid? Was he really that ignorant to the people around him?

"Don't be," Ryuzaki said firmly, stopping Light from apologizing more.

Light noticed that Ryuzaki had a different mystery book with him once again.

"Do you try to solve them before the main characters do?" Light gestured to the book as he spoke.

"It's rare for me not to figure it out before the end of the story," Ryuzaki answered, honest if not a little arrogant.

"Are there any ones that were able to surprise you?"

The conversation went on like this for the rest of lunch. Light asked most of the questions, but Ryuzaki didn't hesitate to answer them fully. Had he not been sitting with his back to the rest of the lunchroom, the occasional stares that Light knew they were getting probably would have annoyed him. However, he was able to ignore everyone else as they talk.

At the end of lunch, Light couldn't help thinking to himself: _Maybe we are friends._

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 18th_

 _Prompt: Write the scene about the first time someone other than your family of friends told you that they loved you._

 _I don't have much of a romantic history, but this has never bothered me before. The only time I ever had a girlfriend was in the eight-grade. Looking back I don't know why I asked her out in the first place. She was a pretty girl, but I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't even like her as a friend that much. For lack of a better reason, I will blame my interest in her on that fact that, at that age, everyone had a girlfriend and I didn't like being the only one who didn't. The norm hasn't changed much, but now I don't mind not fitting society's mold._

 _Anyway, this girl was the first person other than my family to tell me that she loved me. I didn't return these feelings, so I panicked and ended up dumped her right after she poured her heart out to me. Awful, huh? In my defense I was in the the eighth-grade and wasn't the best at realizing the consequences of my actions._

 _I hope that the next time someone says this to me I won't react as poorly, but, knowing me, it might be exactly the same. I've never been much of a romantic._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Nine_

 _May 18th_

 _Write the scene about the first time someone other than your family of friends told you that they loved you._

 _Although I'm not embarrassed to tell you that no one has ever said this to me, I will admit that this prompt is a little personal for my taste. Having said this, I do not want to just leave this assignment at that, for I am not the type of person to only write one sentence when the instructions were to write an entire scene._

 _If someone who was not a member of what I consider family or a friend were to tell me that they loved me I would want it to be someone who I loved as well. I supposed I would want the moment to be romantic, although I have no experience in that area at all. I think what I would most desire from this scenario would be for the person to mean what they said. Actually, when I consider everything, that is the only thing that I would want if this were to happen to me._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thank you to Animelover5008, DBH, and MasqueradingChaos for reviewing!


	10. Chapter Nine

_Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Five_

 _I'm a little concerned about how easy stalking ended up being. Sure it took me a few days but I was able to find out who this Ryuzaki person was and how I can get more information on him._

 _The first thing that I did was look him up in some of Light's old yearbooks (Mom keeps all of his and mine in one of the cabinets in the living room), and I found him in all of them. He doesn't look that odd to me, maybe a little paler and more sleep deprived than a normal person, but I guess a black and white photo can hide a lot too. So now I kind of knew what he looked like, and I found out that he was co-valedictorian when he and Light graduated junior high. This was a little odd because I was there for Light's eighth-grade graduation, and I would have recalled if someone else gave a speech aside from Light. That was when I remembered that someone else was_ supposed _to give a speech, but the poor kid was sick and couldn't come. I think I said something about how awful it must be for the guy, but Light had shrugged it off._

 _The school that they graduated from and I now attend likes to keep records (like speeches and essays) of the more outstanding students in the school library. It's not off limits for students to look at this stuff, but most of us don't show much interest in it because, frankly, it's all very boring. After wading through my weight in boring papers during my lunch on Monday, I was able to find quiet a few things under the name Lawliet._

 _One of which was the speech that he didn't have the chance to give (which was almost as good as Light's), in it he mentions two things that I found important. 1. his name isn't actually Ryuzaki, it's L (I know, interesting name). And 2. he's a foster kid with two foster brothers who would be entering junior high the year after he was entering high-school. If they were entering sixth-grade two years ago then that would mean that (had they not switched schools) they would be in my grade right now!_

 _Now, I don't pretend to be popular, but I know at least half of the people in my grade (mainly because I've had at least one class with that many people). It's kinda a long shot, but I know that one of the kids in my math class is a foster kid, and he just might be one of these people. I'm plan to find a sly enough way to ask him by tomorrow (I couldn't come up with one today), and maybe he can give me some info._

 _In the future I'm going to make sure that the school doesn't save any of my work with personal information in it, because I would really like stalking to be harder than it just was for me._

* * *

Light had woken up the moment that he gave up the Death Note in his dream. It hadn't been a peaceful waking, he felt as if he was being wrenched from his slumber by a rope around his neck. The dream left him panting in the darkness as he took a moment to let his memory of everything that had happened in it fall into place.

When Light checked his clock he realized that it was three in the morning. That explained how dark it was, but the dreams usually lasted at least until six on school days and longer on weekends because he normally went to sleep at a later hour. Now that he thought about it, the dreams usually lasted until his alarm went off and woke him up. The dreams themselves had never ended his sleep before.

"Weird," Light murmured as he pulled himself out of bed.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so he decided that the best way to fill a fraction of the time that he had before he needed to get ready for school would be to record what had happened in the dream. This should take some time since, although his dream-self now had no memory of it, he would have to explain his carefully constructed plan that involved him giving up the Death Note.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Wednesday_

 _Girls are fucking scary. Alright, maybe that's an exaggeration, let me try again._

 _Sayu Yagami is fucking scary. Yeah, that's better._

 _I don't know Sayu very well, we've been in the same math class for the past two years, but math isn't one of the classes that I pay much attention to because it's so easy. So today, right before class starts this girl that I barely know sits down next to me. Let me first explain how out of the ordinary it is for anyone, much less a girl, to sit down next to me. I am a loner. Matt is my exception, but, as I've said before, I don't see him much during the school day. No one ever volunteers to sit by me, and that's the way I like it._

 _At first I wasn't irritated, just surprised. Then, when the teacher was writing something on the board, she passes me this note that said: Do you know L Lawliet?_

 _I'm not entirely sure how to react, so I write: Why the hell do you want to know? (Strong language normally helps in these kind of situations), and slide the note back to her._

 _She looks at in for a second, probably took that answer as a yes, and then writes: Can we talk?_

 _Either my curiosity at what she's up to and why it involves my brother or my boredom with learning equations I had already mastered months ago got the better of me, and I responded with: Meet me in the hall outside of the bathrooms in three minutes._

 _Then I stood up and informed the teacher that I was going to the bathroom. I stopped asking for permission for these sort of things once I had reach junior high. If you don't ask they can't say no, or it's at least harder for them._

 _I wait in the hall for about four minutes, before Sayu comes out of the classroom too. I decided not to tell her that she was one minute late, because I did want to hear whatever she had to say before I started judging her. So the next thing I know she is pouring this entire story to me about how she's trying to help her brother by spying on him and that ended up involving stalking my foster brother because they've been recently spending time together. Aside from this short, cute girl stalking someone, what surprised me most was that L was actually hanging out with someone at school. I mean, the guy has never brought home or even talked about having a friend. He's more of a loner than I am!_

 _And that was how I agreed to help Sayu Yagami with her creepy spy project. I liked spying on people, it's something I'm pretty good at, and she made it clear that there were few lengths she wasn't willing to go to. This whole thing sounded like it could end up being a lot of fun. However, how easily she admitted to the stalking bit is still a little creepy. I mean, I would expect that sort of thing from someone like me, but not from short, cute Sayu Yagami._

 _Girl's are scary._

* * *

Light enjoyed the dream about his confinement. Sure, while he was dreaming, he was filled with the panic and dread that anyone would be feeling were they in that situations. Yet, once he woke up, he wasn't burdened with thoughts of the dream world. Everything was so much easier to manage when dream-Light didn't have any memory of the Death Note.

That day, during Creative Writing class, Ms. Kawaguchi came to the realization that it was about time she gave her students an assignment that would take them out of their comfort zone. She reached the conclusion that the best way to do this was to have them write with their partner. For that night's homework each pair needed to work together to complete the writing prompt by switching off who had the pen for every paragraph. Light was not thrilled.

After talking it over, the two of them found out that they didn't live very far from each other. Yet, since Ryuzaki's house was closer to the school, they agreed to write their as soon as the school day ended. Ryuzaki didn't talk much on the walk to his house, so Light simply followed him mutely. It was only when they reached the front door of a decent sized, and nice looking place that Ryuzaki decided to speak.

"I should warn you that my foster sibling aren't what someone like you would deem normal," he said.

"If they have your for a role model than I would expect no less," Light shot back, taking some offense to the previous comment.

"Touché," Ryuzaki drawled, speaking a word that Light rarely heard actual people use.

Ryuzaki pulled the door open, letting Light catch it behind him to let himself in. The first room of the house was what Light would consider the living room, there was an old leather couch in the middle of the room and an even older looking TV across from it. The room wasn't very tidy, the floor was almost completely covered in toys and other things that Light assumed belonged to Ryuzaki's foster siblings. He hadn't asked how many there were, but he was beginning to get a good idea.

"L, you have to pick up the brats from their after school thing today!" Called a voice from an open doorway at the wall to the left of Light.

Ryuzaki rolled his eyes, before projecting back: "Mello, if you think it's that easy to trick me into doing your chores, then I am very disappointed in you."

A skinny blonde boy that Light doubted was much older than his sister appeared in the doorway.

"They're not my responsibility," the blonde boy said back. "I might just leave them there."

"I'll go with him," said a redhead who had just walked into the doorway.

"Matt, you're supposed to be on my side," the blonde complained.

"I would be, but we only have to walk them home this once, you're making too big of a deal," the redhead argued.

It was at this moment of the argument that the two kids noticed Light trailing awkwardly behind Ryuzaki.

"Who's your friend?" The blonde asked Ryuzaki.

"This is Light Yagami," Ryuzaki introduced him without so much as glancing in his direction. "We have to do a school project in my room, please do not disturb us if you value your lives."

With that, Ryuzaki abruptly turned to the doorway on the wall to the right or them, which Light soon found lead to a hallway which lead to Ryuzaki's room. Apparently Ryuzaki hadn't noticed how many levels of wrong that sentence could be interoperated. Light, feeling even more awkward, followed as Ryuzaki ignored the redhead try to object by saying: "But it's my room, too!"

"I thought you said they were as weird as you," Light remarked as Ryuzaki closed the door.

"I said nothing of the kind," Ryuzaki responded.

"You implied it," Light corrected.

"Well, you caught them on a good day, and I didn't give them the chance to bombard you with questions." Ryuzaki began clearing books and sheets of paper off of the desk in the front of the room.

"Guess you don't bring many people home with you," Light commented dryly.

While Ryuzaki was getting rid of his clutter so that the two of them could work, Light took a moment to survey the room around him. It was a small area, the only pieces of furnitures aside from the desk and two wooden chairs there were two beds and an overpacked bookshelf. The bookshelf wasn't surprising considering the amount of books that Light had witnessed Ryuzaki read in the short time that he had been around him. He began to wonder if Ryuzaki had convinced his foster parent that he needed three books a week in order to focus, for, at the rate the he read, it had to coast a good deal of money for him to have a new novel each time that he wanted one.

Once the desk was finally cleared, Ryuzaki produced several blank sheets of paper from a folder in his school bag. Light hoped that he didn't intend for them to fill up more than two sheets. There was only so much Light was willing to go though. Light had written down the prompt at the end of class, and took this opportunity to read it out loud.

"Write your own myth to describe what happens to people when they die."

Ryuzaki scribbled this at the top of the paper. Light chose not to comment on his terrible handwriting, at some point he had gotten used to reading it.

"Do you want to talk about it, or just start?" Light asked.

"If we talk we'll only end up disagreeing," Ryuzaki pointed out.

"And you think it would be better to disagree on paper?" Light was dubious.

"I think you will hesitate to disagree with me on paper," Ryuzaki answered honestly.

"And just for that I am starting." Light took a seat on the chair next to his writing partner and slid the paper so it was now in front of him.

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Light Yagami_

 _Collaborative Creative Writing Prompt_

 _May 21st_

 _Write your own myth to describe what happens to people when they die._

 _The last thing that she remembered was closing her eyes to that horrible scene. She knew that it would take seconds for her family to find her broken body, but she didn't have seconds. Maybe if she tried very hard she could have held on a moment longer, just one more moment would have let her see them one last time. However, that wasn't what she wanted. She hated that the people that she loved were going to see her like this, but at least she wouldn't be around to witness their horror._

* * *

"Do you always jump to murder?" Ryuzaki asked as he took the paper from Light.

"I meant to leave it up to interpretation," Light stated.

"You meant murder."

* * *

 ** _The darkness closed in on her the moment that she shut the eyelids that had once been called delicate but were now to red and swollen for anyone to bestow that complement. After letting go it was remarkably easy to keep slipping farther and farther from life and closer to whatever was next. She couldn't feel her body anymore. At first this was a blessing, for the pain that it was crippled in was becoming unbearable, but her bliss faded she realized that she couldn't feel anything at all. This terrified the poor girl._**

 _Shiori had never been a religious person, but had sat through enough of her parents speeches to have a clear understanding of what was supposed to happen now that she was dead. She waited for clouds and pearly gates to appear around her, but the darkness did not fade. What was wrong?_

* * *

"That is barely a paragraph," Ryuzaki complained as Light gave him back the paper.

"Shut up and write," Light commanded.

"Ending it with a question is cheating," Ryuzaki muttered.

"How is it cheating?" Light asked.

"Because now I have to answer the question."

"No you don't," Light argued, then stopped himself. "Stop stalling."

* * *

 ** _Something had to be wrong. If her intangible soul wasn't finding it's way to heaven did that mean that she was going to the unspeakable other place? Did she deserve to be damned to hell of all eternity?_**

* * *

"You're mocking me," Light said as she read over Ryuzaki's shoulder.

"I'm not finished."

* * *

 ** _Shiori had never viewed herself as a bad person. Sure, she had done some things that one might consider immoral, but hasn't everyone at some point in their lives. Yes, she wasn't a model citizen, but did that mean that she deserved to be thrown in torment forever? Was this about the incident- No, something was wrong. She wasn't going to hell just for that._**

* * *

"What incident?" Light asked as he took the paper back.

"I'm not going to tell you," Ryuzaki said smugly.

"I think you missed the point of us writing collaboratively."

"To quote my writing partner: shut up and write."

"I hate you."

"Good."

* * *

 _Darkness meant silence. Silence so long and painful that all Shiori yearned was for something to break it. She didn't care what it was, it could be the most awful sound that she had ever heard, she just needed something to break her away from the long, slow silence and the thoughts it was making her think. Thoughts of the incident. Thoughts of what she had done._

 ** _It hadn't been very long ago, but she had found ways to distract herself from it. Forcing the painful memories away from her mind. She had never told anyone. There wasn't anyone who would have believed her, and, on the off chance that they had, she would have been arrested and put away for the rest of her life. It was better to forget everything. The pain. The anger. The blood._**

 _But now she was forced to remember every detail of it. She was forced to think back to the knife that she had clutched in her trembling hands. No one would have ever suspected young and innocent Shiori to have the gall to use it. No one would have ever suspected to to slit the boy's throat as he slept, to drag his limp body into the back of her car, and to dump him into the river where a couple fishing would find him the next day. She didn't need an alibi, no one could look at her and see a killer._

* * *

"Again, jumping to murder," Ryuzaki mused.

"You set me up for that one," Light barked in his defense. Ryuzaki had never reminded him of L more than he did right now. "Wait, did you hear that?"

"They're listening at the door. Ignore it."

"Oh."

* * *

 ** _In the end, though, someone had seen through her charade. It had taken the poor, dead boy's sister years to track down Shiori, but once she had found her there was no escape. Shiori had been the only one awake at that early hour. She had been the only one in the kitchen when the lock on the front door had been so skillfully picked. She hadn't realized what was happening when she heard the footsteps. Thinking that maybe her mother or father had woken up early, she had walked in the direction of the noise to great them._**

 _It was ironic that the killer used the same type of knife to end Shiori's life that Shiori had used to end the life of the boy. The stab wound brought her to her knees, then to the ground, and now to the darkness. The never ending darkness and silence that would be her punishment for the evil that she had done._

* * *

"That was not what I intended when we started," Light said as he finished off the last sentence.

"Good."

"Nice working with you," and to his own surprise, Light actually meant this. "If I open the door...?"

"They're still there, just walk through them."

"I'll try."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I'm sending imaginary Mello chocolate to anyone who recognizes where I pulled the name Shiori from.

Wizard-Party-Forever, thank you so much for your thoughtful review! I'm glad that you like the pacing and communication, which are things that I worked hard on but wasn't entirely sure if I was pulling off. I'm also very happy that you find the writing projects and interesting way to develop them, because I also wasn't sure how readers would react to this. ;-)

Animelover5008, normally Light's dream journal flows like a story. Only occasionally does he have the diary entries (and I've includes all of the ones that he's written or will write in the story), but normally he jumps straight into what happens next. If someone was to read it they would know that it was his journal because of the intro he wrote in his first entry, and I always imagined that he would write the date at the top of each page, but aside from that it flows like a story. Hope this answers your question! Also thank you for the writing prompt in your last review. I have most of the prompts prewritten, but I'll see if I can fit it in.


	11. Chapter Ten

On Friday May 22nd, Light was dumbfounded to find himself walking home with Ryuzaki. Since they had both found out that they lived relatively near each other the day before, Light was able to use this as his excuse for spending even more time with the other boy, when, in truth, he had no idea what he was doing. Having, nothing else to talk about, Light found himself bringing up the story that the two of them had written the night before.

"Your writing was better than it usually is," Ryuzaki informed Light.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Light said even though he did feel insulted.

"Do you think writing with someone else made you want to put effort into what you were doing, or do you think you were tricked into enjoying it?"

Light was not enjoying this conversation.

"I put effort in everything that I do," he snapped. "Just because you usually don't enjoy my writing does not mean that it's all crap."

But it is.

"I never said that all of it was 'crap'," Ryuzaki countered. "Although a large amount of it is. Strangely when you write about death, particularly murder, it improves."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That your write well when it's centered on morbidity," Ryuzaki answered. "The darker the story, the better you preform. Our collaborative story proves this."

"You made our story darker to test if it proved your theory about me?" Light didn't see Ryuzaki anymore, he saw L.

"Yes," Ryuzaki stated as if it wasn't a big deal. "Although, if I were you I might be a little concerned with your infatuation with such a dark topic. Particularly the fact that you tend to write from the point of view of the murder, as if sympathizing with them."

"You're acting like I'm the one with problems, when it's not true," it took a moment for Light to register that he was yelling. "You're the messed up one, not me!"

Light didn't feel like Light Yagami anymore, he felt the anger that he only had when he was Kira. If he was thinking a little clearer, this would have disturbed him. Despite his new found acceptance and clarity it definitely would have alarmed him, but right now he couldn't hear himself think.

"You're reaction to my comments proves exactly the opposite, Light," Ryuzaki stated calmly.

That was when Light hit him.

The blow took less than a second, but the force behind it was enough to throw Ryuzaki to the ground. Light had only been aiming for his face, so it didn't surprise him that he punch had landed on his left eye. The moment that Ryuzaki fell to the sidewalk, Light was consumed by regret.

However, before he could apologize and help Ryuzaki up, Light himself was flying backward. It took a few seconds for his mind to fully register what had just happened. Ryuzaki had manage to push off his old sneakers, spring into a backbend, and kick Light in the forehead with his bare foot.

Now all thoughts of apologizing completely cleared Light's head as he pulled himself up and launched at Ryuzaki. He knocked Ryuzaki back onto the cement sidewalk, putting his arms out just in time to prevent landing completely top of him. Before Light could throw another punch on his nearly flattened victim, said victim kneed him in the stomach, pushing him upwards. As Light flailed to gain his balance, Ryuzaki jumped to his feet, grasping Light by the shoulders and shoving him to the ground.

The moment that Light was able to pull himself off of the cement, grab hold or Ryuzaki's shirt, and prepare to punch him again, was the moment that Sayu and one of Ryuzaki's foster brother's rushed (seemingly out of no where) to break up the fight.

* * *

Light leaned back on Ryuzaki's couch, pressing the ice-pack that Ryuzaki's foster brother had given him onto his forehead. Ryuzaki was laying on the ground, his legs curled toward the ceiling, with his ice-pack balanced on his left eye where Light's first punch had landed. He reminded Light of a dead mouse.

Sayu and Ryuzaki's foster sibling had retreated to the kitchen after making sure that neither of them needed medical attention. Aside from a scrape on his knee and the bruise that was slowly forming on his head, Light was unscathed. He didn't notice any other injuries on Ryuzaki, but there would certainly be a nasty purple mark contrasting with the boy's pale complexion the next day. Light was grateful that the next day was a weekend, for he didn't think that he could handle anyone at school noticing their matching bruises.

Light tried to push away the reason that he had punched Ryuzaki in the first place. He told himself that he was only acting out of momentary anger. Maybe it wasn't what Ryuzaki had said just then, but a result of all of the insults that the other boy had hurled at him over the past few weeks pushing Light to his breaking point. It certainly wasn't another version of Light driving him to act on his new found anger. He had stopped giving the dream that power. Right?

"I'm sorry," Light finally said to the figure on the floor.

"It's not entirely your fault," he responded in a neutral tone.

"I started the fight," Light reminded him.

"And I chose to continue it," Ryuzaki replied.

"By kicking me in the face," Light's mind replayed Ryuzaki's defense.

"Capoeira."

"Really? Isn't that more of a dance than a fighting style?" Light had vaguely heard of the martial art, but also knew that it was more known as a form of dance.

"It depends, but I prefer the movement over other styles that I have studied," Ryuzaki had not yet moved from the ball that he had made on the floor, and Light wondered how he was actually comfortable.

"You've studied other styles?" Light asked, genuinely surprised by this fact.

"A little."

How had he not completely beaten Light up? When Light and Sayu had been younger their father had made them learn basic self defense, but that was not the same as being trained in any martial art. Maybe Light was just stronger than he thought.

 _Or was Ryuzaki going easy on me on purpose?_

"I think we freaked the kids out," Light remarked, glancing in the direction of the room he knew the three of them were waiting in. Light was glad that the other inhabitants of Ryuzaki's house were not home at the moment.

"I'm surprised that Mello separated us," Ryuzaki said. "He's normally more protective, and I half expected him to start hitting you himself."

"I guess I'm just lucky," Light said blandly.

Ryuzaki grunted.

"Are you actually comfortable laying like that?" Light asked, partly out of curiosity and partly just to keep conversation going.

"When you pushed me onto the cement I believe it may have strained something in my back. Lying flatly is the only thing that is comfortable at the moment." Ryuzaki didn't explain why he was hovering his legs over him, but Light assumed that this didn't have anything to do with the pain he was trying to avoid.

"Oh."

Light almost apologized again, but stopped himself before the words left his lips. Ryuzaki would only argue against his condolences anyway.

"Do you want to lay on the couch instead of the floor?" Light asked. "There's plenty of room, or I could move if you want."

"If you are offering, I will, but I don't need you to move." Ryuzaki uncurled and pushed himself into a sitting position. "I chose the floor so as not to make you uncomfortable."

 _After I punched you five minutes ago, you decided to lay on the ground so you didn't make me uncomfortable?_ Light pushed away the guilt that he was feeling, and scooted over to make room for Ryuzaki.

It didn't surprise him that the other boy resumed he exact same position that he had been keeping on the floor. When Ryuzaki had removed his ice-pack to sit up, Light noticed that the dark bruise was already forming around his eye. He looked like a dog with a spot. Light doubted that the blemish would be fully gone come Monday, but at least Ryuzaki's long bangs could hide it if he brushed them in that direction.

Not that Light expected Ryuzaki to do so. He doubted that Ryuzaki put half a thought into his appearance and that meant that he didn't make the effort to brush his hair in the morning. It was amazing that the ebony forest wasn't full of tangles. It was amazing that Ryuzaki's long strands were always in the perfectly messy formation that other had to use hair gel to obtain. Those same ebony locks that were less than and inch away from where Light was sitting.

 _Woah, what the hell was that thought?_ Light tried desperately to pull the breaks on his wandering mind, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki who was the only person that matched Light intellectually. Ryuzaki who's paper white skin practically shone in the dim room. Ryuzaki who's head was barely an inch away from Light's leg. Ryuzaki who Light wanted to-

"I need to go!" Light sprang from his seat as carefully as he could so as not to disturb the boy next to him.

Light left the ice-pack on the couch, and didn't wait for Ryuzaki to say anything to stop him. It took everything in him not to run from the house. Instead he marched and quickly as he could, shouting to Sayu that they were leaving when he passed the kitchen door.

 _What am I thinking?_ He asked himself over and over again, fearing and knowing the answer each time.

"Is something wrong?" Sayu asked as she walk/bounced beside him.

"No," Light did his best to wipe his mind clear. "I just have a lot of homework I need to be getting to."

"Oh," she sounded disappointed.

"Sayu?" A thought suddenly occurred to Light.

"How did you and Ryuzaki's foster brother find us fighting?" Light realized that he and Ryuzaki had only just begun hitting each other when two kids who happened to each be a sibling of one of them had stumbled upon the brawl. Coincidences like that did not happen in real life.

"I don't like to walk home by myself, Mello and I walk together until we reach the street that his house is on," Sayu explained. "We were a little late today, because he had to talk to a teacher about something, and while we were walking we heard you guys shouting."

She meant that she heard Light shouting, but was just being polite. Ryuzaki hadn't raised his voice at all. Light felt like a jerk, picking a fight with his friend and then letting his sister see it. It was a good thing that Ryuzaki's brother had been there, because Light knew that Sayu would not have been able to separate them on her own. But that didn't mean he liked the idea of her walking home with a boy everyday.

"Are you and Mello close?" Light asked, he needed to stop this as soon as he could.

"Ew, not like that!" Sayu exclaimed, scrunching up her face in an expression of disgust. "He's just a friend, besides I think he's gay anyway."

Sayu said this so nonchalantly that Light wanted to gape at her. As if a boy her age realizing that his sexuality was something that a sizable fraction of society didn't deem normal was a casual matter. As if anyone realizing their sexuality was a casual matter.

Not that Light was an expert, though. He had aways passed of things like that as something he would worry about later, something that he would bother with when he was actually attracted to someone. The only problem with this approach was figuring out what to do when that time came. And that time had come less than five minutes ago.

Was Light gay? He guessed that made sense, but he had never shown much interest in men or women before. Hell, he hadn't even realized that he was attracted to Ryuzaki until that day.

Attracted. That wasn't a safe word, but at least it didn't have strings attached to it. It didn't mean affection or cancel out friendship. It just meant that while he was sitting next to Ryuzaki he had wanted, he still wanted, to-

To what? To kiss him? To jump him? Light didn't even know! All he knew was that he wanted Ryuzaki. Weird Ryuzaki who Light never knew what to expect from. Intelligent Ryuzaki who Light had dreams of engaging in a battle for justice with. Ryuzaki who Light doubted ever thought of Light romantically at all.

"Um, Light?" Sayu's voice pulled Light from his thoughts.

"Yes?" There was a slight quiver in his voice, that he prayed went unnoticed.

"You and Ryuzaki are friends, right?" She asked, and Light's heart beat increased.

"Yes," Light said as coolly as he could.

"Then why were you two trying to kill each other?"

Light's nerves diminished.

"It was my fault," he told her. "He said something that pissed me off and I overreacted."

"Oh," Sayu contemplated this. "Does this happen a lot?"

"No," Light answered quickly. "I've never hit him before, and I'm not going to hit him or anyone again."

 _I'm never going to touch him again._

"Okay," Sayu accepted this answer.

"Well, maybe I'll hit your future boyfriend if he treats you badly," Light teased.

"Then that's good that Mello and I are just friends," Sayu laughed. "Because I'm not sure who would win that fight."

"You think that kid could beat me up?" Light pretended to be appalled.

"Ryuzaki probably taught him a bunch of moves," Sayu explained innocently. "And, if you hit Mello, then Ryuzaki would probably defend him. You don't stand a chance."

 _Did I ever?_

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Seven_

 _I met the infamous Ryuzaki. Well, we didn't really talk, I was too busy pulling Light off of him. That doesn't sound right at all. Let me start from the beginning._

 _So today during lunch Mello comes up to me and says that he has the most perfect plan ever._

 _Mello: As soon as school ends, we'll run over to the high school and follow them home._

 _Me: What good will that do?_

 _Mello: We could overhear an important conversation. Plus, you'll be observing him when he doesn't know you're around so you might catch something different in the way he's behaves with L than when he does at home._

 _Me: What if they don't walk together._

 _Mello: Of course they do, that chick said that L was practically stalking your brother. They have to be inseparable or else stupid people like her wouldn't notice._

 _I didn't take the time to explain to him that Misa isn't stupid, she's just ditzy, and she would notice anything that has to do with Light._

 _Me: But what if they don't?_

 _Mello: If they don't then we just follow your brother, he's the one we're investigating._

 _The way Mello talks makes this seem even more exciting and professional. So we followed the plan to the letter, and as soon as school got out we dashed to the high-school campus, which is only a few blocks away. Our junior high gets out fifteen minutes before Light's school, so we were able to get there and find a good place to hide before people started filing out._

 _It didn't take long to spot them, mainly because Ryuzaki walks with a hunch and it's easy to tell him apart from other random students. This was the first time that I saw the guy in person, and I definitely understand why Misa kept calling him weird (but I don't want to be judgmental, so I didn't make a big deal about his appearance)._

 _Stalking people is harder than it looks. Lucky for me Mello is a natural at it (or he had a lot of practice, but I didn't want to ask). He kept pulling me through people's yards and behind trees or trashcans and whispering at me to step lighter if I didn't want them to hear me._

 _We were still barely able to make out what Light and Ryuzaki were talking about. I'm not sure when they started fighting or even what they were fighting about, but all of a sudden Light started yelling at Ryuzaki. Then Ryuzaki said something that I couldn't hear and Light punched him._

 _Now before I continue I think I should point out that my brother is not a violent person. Sure, this wasn't the first time he'd hit someone, but usually it's in self defense or in case where most would deem that response acceptable. Yes, Light can have a temper, but that's not the way he normally reacts to getting into an argument with someone._

 _Just as I was recovering from my shock at seeing my brother do something like that, Ryuzaki kicked him. In the face. I don't know if it was hilarious or impressive, but Light fell back so I guess the second one. They kept going at it for about a minute before Mello and I realized that they weren't going to stop unless we did something about it._

 _Breaking them up was easier than I thought, and Light looked more embarrassed than angry. Mello's house was close by, so the four of us headed there to make sure that the violent high-schoolers weren't actually hurt. They weren't, so we left them to talk it out in the living room while Mello and I tried to eavesdrop from the kitchen (this didn't work because Light and Ryuzaki didn't turn out to be the talk-after-a-fight type)._

 _That was when I met Matt. Well, technically I met Matt the second we walked through the door and he asked how someone had actually managed to give Ryuzaki a black eye, but this was the when I was formally introduced to Matt._

 _Mello said something along the lines of: Sayu, this is Matt, the semi-responsible one._

 _So then I asked: Is he your boyfriend?_

 _I had meant this as a joke, but Mello turned the color of Matt's hair (which I forgot to mention is bright red) while Matt looked like he was holding back a laugh._

 _Mello: No!_

 _Me: Oh, ok... Do you want him to be your boyfriend?_

 _Matt did start laughing and Mello's face got even redder._

 _Mello: What on earth makes you think that?_

 _Me: Your reaction to me asking if he was your boyfriend._

 _Matt then explained that he was Mello's foster brother (which I think is going to add some awkwardness when they actually get together, and don't ask me why I think that they are. I'm a girl, we just know these sort of stuff), and that he goes to the same school as us. Now that he mentioned it, he did look kind of familiar._

 _I was just about to ask Mello if he thought he heard anything important from our walk, but then Light shouted that we were leaving. Mello and I made plans to meet at the mall on Sunday to compare observations. I think Matts going to come too which would be great because he's a lot friendlier than Mello._

 _While we were walking home Light asked how Mello and I found them, and I told him that we were walking home and just happened to over hear the shouting before the fight. I think he bought it, but I'll have to be more careful from now on. He didn't tell me why they were fighting, just that Ryuzaki had said something that upset him and Light had hit him for it (which I already knew, but I couldn't tell Light this)._

 _All in all today was not very productive, but maybe Mello heard something that I didn't._

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Friday_

 _It was right after Sayu left that things got interesting. The fact that I'm calling the later events interesting and not the fight that_ L _of all people got into with his supposed best friend or the weird comments that Sayu kept making afterward really shows the gravity of the situation. Sayu had to leave very quickly, because her brother suddenly decided to bolt from the house. I wasn't sad to see her go after the jokes that she made about me and Matt._

 _Unfortunately, the second that they were out the door, L walked into the room. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew that we were up to something, and I think that Matt could as well because he started fidgeting. Matt is awful at staying calm when and authority figure knows he did something bad._

 _"_ _Hey, L!" I remember him saying, really, really enthusiastically. He then asked: "Is your eye feeling any better?"_

 _L ignored Matt and asked me: "Why were you and Light's younger sister following us?"_

 _Playing dumb is a pathetic tactic, but it was the best thing that I could come up with under the circumstances. Besides, I wanted to know how long he had known that we were tailing him. So I said something like: "What?"_

 _He replied with: "I am offended that you expect me to believe that you just so happened to stumble upon Light and I, with his sister of all people accompanying you."_

 _So he hadn't noticed us while they were walking. Score for my stalking skills! Normally this is about when I would come clean, I mean this is L that I'm talking to not Roger or Wammy. However, this scheme wasn't exactly mine to tell, and I was pretty sure that Sayu would cut me out of it if she found out that I told L. Before I could think of something better to say the word: "What?" came out of my mouth._

 _I didn't look at Matt, which is good because if he was snickering I would have been forced to kill him._

 _L's eye narrowed at my response, and I realized the danger of the situation that I was in. Then he got this really calm expression that scares the living daylights out of me and said: "I supposed if you don't tell me what was going on, then I'll have to explain to Roger what happened."_

 _For some weird reason panic did not hit me, and instead I cooly said back to him: "No you won't."_

 _Those words gave me the undivided attention of both L and Matt. I continued._

 _"_ _You won't because if you do then you'll have to tell him about how Yagami tried to beat you up and you almost killed him."_

 _This was a double edge sword. I was fairly confident that L wanted everyone to like his only friend, and him hitting L definitely earned the loser and bucket of hate. No. Make that a tidal wave of hate. And, on the other side of things, L could have done some serious damage. It didn't matter to the adults who started the fight, L had hit (kicked) back._

 _L was giving me a pretty annoyed glare, and Matt was looking at me like I was God (which is nothing knew). Nobody said anything until L stalked out of the room. This was the first time that I had beaten the guy at anything, and it felt pretty damn good._

 _I'm meeting with Sayu on Sunday to discuss the next phase of the plan. I know that I agreed to help her help her brother, but now I have another motive. At first I didn't have anything against Light Yagami, I was actually glad that my loner foster brother had a friend. But now I do not know what my opinion on him should be._

 _If he's such a great guy, then why would he take a swing at L of all people? I don't care what the adults would say, in my book he started the fight and L is clear of all charges. I guess I understand having an uncontrollable burst of anger and doing something you regret dearly after. I mean I feel like shit when I let myself yell at Matt 'cause I'm in a bad mood. If this one incident is his only fault and he never does anything remotely like it again, I think I can live with him being close to my brother. But, if he ever tries to hurt L again, I swear to God I will kill the bastard._

 _I know I'm not the best family member, I'm not even sure when our group of misfit orphans became a family, but if someone ever threatens any of them I will do everything in my power to ruin that person. Hey, I'd even murder someone who tried to hurt Near, and I think I've spent half of my life complaining about that little nuisance._

 _What I'm trying to say is that Light Yagami needs to watch his back, because the next time he does anything to L I know exactly where my knife is going to be._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This was my favorite chapter to write so far, mainly because of Light's inner monologues and Mello being a badass little bro. No writing prompt today only because of how long this turned out to be.

I owe Guest, who turned out to be Corliss Kat forgetting to login, imaginary Mello chocolate. Also thank you to AFewPeopleLoveRaymond for your review!

That's all for now. ;-)


	12. Chapter Eleven

Light rubbed his eyes as he pulled himself out of bed. He wasn't sure if it would be best of him to think through everything he remembered dreaming that night or spend the rest of the day pretending that he could forget it.

 _Yeah right,_ the sarcastic voice in his head told him _, like that ever works._

The handcuffs the night before were one thing, but the fact that his dream had practically forced him to relive the physical fight that he had with Ryuzaki brought his subconscious reality to the borderline of creepy.

 _At least in the dream you didn't get all hot and bothered afterward,_ contributed the sarcastic voice.

It was Sunday, and that Friday afternoon still wasn't far from Light's thoughts. His parents had flipped when they saw the bruise on his forehead that night. Light had made up a lie about tripping and hitting his head. Sayu had even backed him up, but he doubted that his father of mother had fallen for it. At least they stopped asking, and now the bruise had faded for the most part. Light reasoned that he may have to steal some of Sayu's make up to cover it fully for school the next day.

He wondered how Ryuzaki was doing and what he had told the adult and younger children when asked what happened to him. Light cringed at the thought of Ryuzaki calmly admitting that someone he had considered a friend had turned around and punched him just because he had said something insulting. The cringe turned into a shudder when Light thought of the full reason that he had hit Ryuzaki.

Light had meant to call him after rushing out the way that he had, but was never able to gather the nerve. This wasn't because of his ever looming guilt or his want to avoid a repeat of the bizarre conversation their last phone call was. Light was too afraid to call Ryuzaki because, now that he completely registered his attraction to the other boy, Light had no idea how he would react to hearing his voice. This fear only intensified when he thought of seeing him at school the next day. Yet, at the same time, being near Ryuzaki was what Light currently longed for most.

He should have known what a hell it would be to make up his mind, especially when things were as complicated as they were.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Nine_

 _Today was the most stressful day of my fourteen years of life! Honestly, I'm starting to think enlisting the help of Mello wasn't the best idea. I know that he's perfect for the job, but that boy is a magnet for trouble. I have no idea how Matt handles him so easily!_

 _We met at an ice cream shop to debrief what happened on Friday. That didn't take very long, since neither of us had heard much of Light and Ryuzaki's conversation. I suggested that we follow them again on Monday, but Mello said that it wouldn't be a good idea._

 _Mello: It's better if we keep the spying away from L._

 _Me: Are you saying he's onto us?_

 _Mello: Sort of._

 _He and Matt then assured me that it wasn't a big deal, and that they had everything under control. This concluded our spy talk, but since none of us wanted to go home yet we decided to walk around the mall. Matt's a gamer, so he made a beeline for this video game store that I had never been inside before. Video games aren't my thing, but I was fine with hanging out there while Matt looked around. I don't usually hang out with friends on the weekend, and, although Mello and Matt are more partners in crime than real friends, it made a nice change._

 _Then things got crazy._

 _Matt found this game that he really wanted, but he and Mello didn't have enough money for it. I offered to help pay, but Mello said that it's against his honor code to take money from a girl. However, shop lifting was not against his code, so he decided that the best plan would be for him to try to pocket the game. I told him that my father is a cop and I didn't want to be a part of him stealing, but he didn't really care. He told me that I could stand on the other side of the store if I wanted to, but he was still going to take the game. I guess his heart was set on impressing Matt._

 _I did end up standing on the other side of the store to watch Mello pocket the game and the two of them walk casually out of the game store and back into the mall. Well, their walk was casual up until the monitors in the front of the store starting beeping. That was about when the two of them panicked and took off, with a security guard not far behind._

 _I wasn't sure I should be exasperated or amused, but, when the security guard came back ten minutes later without the mini-felons, I settled on the later. Because I am a kind hearted person, I told the guy at the front desk that I know Matt and Mello and offered to pay for the game that they stole. I suppose I'll keep this a secrete (even thought it would be great to have Mello owe me a favor), since Mello doesn't think that he violated his honor code._

 _After I left the game store I realized that I had no idea where the two of them went. I considered forgetting them and just going home, but curiosity will always kill the cat and I wanted to know if they were up to anything else. I figured that they had fled the mall in the stolen game chase, so I started my search for them outside. I eventually stumbled upon to two perps about two blocks away from the scene of the crime. My plan was to scold them for going through with taking the game, but this went completely out the window when I saw Matt lying on the sidewalk, and Mello kneeling next to him with a very worried expression._

 _Me: What happened?_

 _Mello: He tripped while we were running. I think his ankle is broken._

 _Matt: I told you five times, it's not broken, Mels!_

 _Matt is the only person I've ever heard Mello let call him 'Mels.'_

 _Mello: If it was just sprained, then you wouldn't be howling in pain every time you try to move it!_

 _Me: Matt, can you wiggle your toes?_

 _Matt: Yeah._

 _Me: Then it's not broken. You probably just sprained it._

 _I sat down on the curb next to Mello._

 _Mello: He still can't walk._

 _Matt: I will, just give me a minute._

 _Some of the people walking past us were giving us concerned looks (others were looking at us as if we were obviously up to no good). We weren't very far from the mall, and there were a few restaurants near the street that we were on. It wasn't busy, but I wasn't barren either._

 _Mello: Try to move it._

 _Matt: No._

 _Me: He's not going anywhere on his own. (I enjoyed bing the voice of reason.) Can you call someone to pick you guys up?_

 _Mello told me that this was a very bad idea. When I asked why, he told me that if they called the guy acting as their foster parent (they mentioned before that their actual foster parent had to travel for work or something like that) then they would have to explain why they were in that area. Them running near the mall apparently automatically revealed that they had almost been caught shoplifting (which made me question how many times Mello almost, or actually does get caught, shoplifting)._

 _Mello: Can you call someone?_

 _Me: My parents who ask the same questions, did I mention that my father is a cop? And my brother is just going to tell your brother which puts you in the same boat as if you called someone._

 _At this point of hopelessness, Matt tried to stand up again. Needless to say this attempt ended with him shouting (I'm nice so I won't call it yelping) in pain, and lying back down._

 _I asked Mello: Do you think you could carry him?_

 _Mello said "okay" and Matt screamed "no" at the same time. I decided to go with Matt's answer, since he was the injured one, and went back to brainstorming a way to get us back the their house. That was when I had what I liked to call a brilliant idea._

 _Me: I know who I can call to give us a ride!_

 _Mello: You know a person who isn't going to ask what we were doing or tell your dad our the adults in charge of us what happened?_

 _Me: Well he'll ask, but if you lie well enough I think you can fool him._

 _Matt: Who is the mysterious person that you're convincing to transport me?_

 _Me: One of Light's friends. (I paused from fishing my phone out of my pocket.) And that sounded really weird._

 _Matt: I'm in pain, I'm going to say stuff that sounds weird._

 _Mello: It's just something he does. What's your brother's friend's name?_

 _Me: Touta Matsuda._

 _Matsuda was very surprised by my call, being that he didn't know I had his number. This was fair, since I only have it because I copied down all of Light's contacts into my phone when I started the spy log and Light never deletes contacts even if he hasn't talked to that person in ages. Of course I couldn't tell Matsuda this, so I just said that Light and I share contacts, which is believable enough._

 _I then explained to Matsuda how me and my friends were stranded and I didn't have anyone else to call. I told him that my dad was working overtime (which was true), Light was out with friends and I didn't want to bother him (not true,), and that my mother was also out (I didn't go into detail on this one, because I figured that too much detail could be a bad thing when you're fabricating the truth). I think he was still a little surprised that I called him, but I said that I don't know a lot of Light's friends much less Light's friends who can drive. Matsuda agreed to help us out, saying that he wasn't doing anything anyway._

 _Mello and Matt made up a story on why we were running and how Matt tripped and sprained his ankle. Matsuda totally bought it, but I doubt he's going to tell anyone in my family anyway. He was more concerned about if Matt was okay, but he said that he and Mello could handle it once they got to their house. After dropping them off, Matsuda offered to give me a ride home too. I don't know a lot of Light's friends (or kind of friends), but Touta Matsuda is definitely my favorite._

* * *

Instead of discussing the stories that they had wrote the night before, the entire class was instructed to brainstorm ideas for long term stories that they would be starting in class and finishing during the summer. Light had never been the type of learner to groan over to idea of summer homework. He didn't mind extra work as long as he had enough time to complete it, and the assignments usually spared him of his family's nagging him to spend his summertime out of the house with his friends.

This assignment, however, had Light less than overjoyed. Yet, in an attempt to remaster his skills at being a diligent student, Light found himself wrapping his brain in the hopes of an idea that he could continue for the next few months. His focus was probably why he was caught off guard when Ryuzaki began talking to him.

"Would you like to write together again tonight?" Ryuzaki asked polity.

After the mandatory collaborative session, Ms. Kawaguchi had given the class permission to write in pairs for any homework prompt.

"Sure," Light answered before the tactical side of his brain could weight the pros and cons of this decision.

It would have been rude for Light not to agree, especially after how well they worked together the previous time. The only reason he would have said no was because of the part of him that figuratively leaped for joy at the thought being alone with Ryuzaki. Light could use this as a test to see if he could keep that part of him under control. As long as he could, then there wasn't any reason for him not to spend time with Ryuzaki. If he couldn't- well he'd worry about that later.

It was only when Light glanced at the chalk board to see the prompt that Ms. Kawaguchi had given them that his confidence deflated and was replaced with a trembling dread.

* * *

"Explain to me again why we can't do this at your place?" Light asked as he led Ryuzaki to his room. "Not that I mind having you over, but last time writing at your house worked fine."

"Last time my house was not over run with children," Ryuzaki answered. "Believe me, it's nearly impossible to hear oneself think when they are all home."

"I'm starting to think that you only want to write with me so that you can get away from that," Light was only half joking.

"Would you blame me if that was the truth?"

Light made the mistake of looking behind him to make eye contact with Ryuzaki as he spoke, and had to briskly turn his head back to hide what he refused to call a blush. He wanted to refuse to admit that he found Ryuzaki's paced expression alluring, but at this point Light had forgotten how to lie to himself. However, the fact that he was willing to accept that he was drawn to the other young man did not mean that he was at all willing to let said young man know of this. Therefore Light needed to stop acting like a schoolgirl with a crush before Ryuzaki caught on to his strange behavior.

"I guess I can't blame you," Light said. "I remember when Sayu was a kid, there was never any peace and quiet."

"Aren't you only three years older than Sayu?" Ryuzaki asked.

"I was a very boring child," Light told him dryly.

"I doubt that."

Now they had reached Light's room, so he didn't have the chance to ask what exactly Ryuzaki meant by that comment. Unlike Ryuzaki, Light kept the desk in his room tidy so he didn't need to clear anything off of it. Light didn't keep two chairs at his work station, but had a spare in the corner of his room. He offered the more comfortable chair to Ryuzaki, while he dragged the spare to the desk. Light barely noticed when Ryuzaki perched on the chair in his usual hunched posture with his legs pulled to his chest. This was something that Light had gotten used to over the past few weeks of knowing him.

Ryuzaki already had the paper out when Light sat down. His spidery handwriting scribbled their names and the date at the top of the page. Light tried to hide his grimace when Ryuzaki wrote out the prompt.

 _Write a love scene from the point of view of your hands._

"I'm not starting," Light stated. "I have no clue how to write romance."

He hated that Ryuzaki was going to read whatever he wrote for this. He reminded himself that, wether they wrote it together or not, Ryuzaki would end up reading whatever he put down. Were it not for Light's growing need to be near him, this situation would have been the preferred option.

"Neither do I, but that's the point of a challenge." Then Ryuzaki had a bright idea of what the next curveball to throw at Light should be. "Why don't we switch every sentence instead of every paragraph?"

"Sure," Light inwardly scolded himself for, yet again agreeing to something that only made his predicament worse. He was going to have to learn to say no to the other boy. "But you're still starting."

"I have no qualms with this."

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Light Yagami_

 _Collaborative Creative Writing Prompt_

 _May 25th_

 _Write a love scene from the point of view of your hands._

 ** _Akio made me drum on the table in an attempt to lessen his nerves._** _I stopped getting annoyed by this habit years ago, and this time I know he has every right to be nervous._ ** _It wasn't occasional for him to be on the anxious side for a date, but this wasn't a regular date._** _Akio had his entire relationship riding on this, even I knew this._ ** _If today didn't go smoothly, I was sure that Kobe would be walking out of Akio's life (which I supposed was the same as walking out of mine)._**

* * *

"Are we writing a gay love scene?" Light asked as he reread the two names that Ryuzaki had chosen.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Ryuzaki asked with a smirk.

"Shut up."

* * *

 _Although the only things that I care about in a restaurant is the softness of the table cloth and the smoothness of the silverware, I had to admit that the venue was nice._ ** _This fact seemed to have no effect on Kobe._** _Neither of them tried to make the first conversation that they'd had in weeks a quiet one._ ** _I've never understood humans why are so drawn to shouting in moments of intense emotion, I don't know what draws them to take delight in the sound of their own screeching voices, but I've always found that I am far better at expressing emotion._** _The shouting continued after they were both kicked out of the restaurant, and me along with them._ ** _It was when I was raised to roughly swipe away Akio's tears that I had enough of letting the two of them handle their own problems._**

* * *

"Don't leave me with a sentence like that," Light complained. "I don't know what you're planning with this."

"If I tell you then there's no difference between me writing with you and writing by myself," Ryuzaki said oh-so-innocently.

"You just like writing loose ends and making me tie them," Light huffed

"No, I simply want to see what direction you choose to take this in."

"Why does that make me feel like a test subject?" The sarcasm in Light's voice was almost tangible.

"It was never my intention to make you feel objectified," Ryuzaki didn't sound the slightest bit sincere.

"Just shut up and let me focus."

* * *

 _I pull myself away from Akio's face, make his arms engulf Kode, and settle myself at the back of his head and his back for the embrace._ ** _Both participants of the hug were too stunned to resist._** _When they finally did come back to their senses, neither one of them spoke but the hug was not broken._ ** _Minutes passed before Akio removed me from Kode's hair, and pulled back from the hug to place me on the cool surface of Kode's cheek._** _I don't have to help Akio know when to begin the kiss._

 ** _Words cannot express the strongest emotions because they're too frail and weak for carry them._** _Hands are the tools that build the world you live in, we are not weak._

* * *

Light dropped his pencil onto his desk, in a rather dramatic way to point out that he had just written the last sentence of the story. Ryuzaki didn't need the hint, for he was already collecting the papers and putting them back into his folder.

"I can hold onto it," Light suggested.

"Does Light not trust me to keep track of a piece of paper?" Ryuzaki asked as he put his folder into his school bag.

"You can hold on to it then," Light knew when to choose his battles. "I'll walk you out, unless you need more time hiding from the children occupying your house."

"No, I should get going."

Light ignored the soft sting of disappointment.

It was only after Ryuzaki was gone that Light was able to fully register what had happened. The innocent level of the story that they wrote surprised Light almost as much as Ryuzaki's decision to made the couple two men. Was that a hint or was Light just over thinking it?

He was probably over thinking it.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Now I know what happens when I write a chapter directly after spraining my knee. Sorry Mattie...

Wizard-Party-Forever, I'm glad that you liked Light's thought process in the previous chapter. I agree on the hair fixation, that detail usually works its way into most of my LxLight fluff. Thanks for your review! :-)

Also thank you to Animelover5008 and runrunrun111 for reviewing!


	13. Chapter Twelve

When Light was in the ninth-grade, his father had asked him to participate in the intervention they had held for Light's alcoholic aunt. Light had only been their for moral support, but from that experience he had been graced with a very clear idea of what an intervention looked and felt like. Which was why he was so uncomfortable when his group of friends cornered him after school. Unlike his aunt's and most interventions, Light's was not held in a comfortable living room or even in a place where he could sit down, instead he was blockaded on an empty stairwell at school.

"Light we need to talk." The speaker of this was Kiyomi Takada, who Light didn't assume was the instigator of his ambush, merely the one brave enough to start the conversation. He liked to think that the girl had more class than to come up with something like this on her own.

"What's going on?" Light asked, expecting a clear answer.

"We're worried about you," voiced another girl whom Light knew for a fact he had only spoken to twice in the past two months of classes.

"You haven't been sitting with us," Takada continued.

"You mean I've been sitting with Ryuzaki instead of you," Light sighed.

He knew that all of them had noticed, but had hoped that they wouldn't think it their place to comment on it. Apparently he was wrong.

"Light, most of us have been friends since freshman year, and all of a sudden you abandon us to hang out with that..."

Light was grateful that it had been Takada speaking and not someone crude enough to finish that sentence.

"It's not any of your business, is it?" Light muttered loud enough for most of them to hear.

"Yes, it is," countered the girl who spoke before. "We're your friends, Light."

"And, last I checked, you weren't the type of guy to ditch his friends for some freak," said a boy to the left of Light.

"He's not a freak!" The defensive shout surprised everyone, including Light himself.

"Light, you're not acting like yourself!"

He wasn't even sure who said this one, but he didn't care. The only thing that he could register was that the people he had chosen to spend his time with for the last three years were nothing but a pack of shams who pushed others down to feel better about themselves. Light didn't want anything to do with them anymore.

For what he was shameful to admit was the first time, he didn't give a damn about Ryuzaki's odd quirks. Light with rather spend the rest of his life in the company of Ryuzaki than another minute with the people that he used to call friends! Although, now that he thought about it he would enjoyed spending the rest of his life in the company of Ryuzaki and only Ryuzaki... but this was not the time for those thoughts.

Without saying another word to his former friends, Light pushed through the crowd and proceeded to briskly stomp down the stairs. They all had the brains not to follow him. It was only when he was confident that he had put a good distance away from them and him that Light let the smile break across his face. For some reason, he felt freer than he had in a long time.

* * *

When the bell that signaled the end of class rang the next day , Light turned around in his seat and put his hand in the middle of Ryuzaki's desk in an attempt to stop the boy from leaving the classroom before him (which always seemed to happened).

"Do you want to go off campus for lunch today?" Light asked once he had his attention.

"Why?" Ryuzaki seemed genuinely surprised by the offer.

"I got into an argument with some people the other day, and I don't think I have the patients to be in the same vicinity as they are." Light didn't feel the need to tell Ryuzaki what the argument was about. That would only lead to him having to explain why he had reacted so strongly, which was a conversation that he did not want to have in the slightest.

"And you want me to go off campus with you?" Ryuzaki asked, for some reason his genius brain was having trouble comprehending this fact.

"Well, we're friends, aren't we?"

"I was not aware of this." Ryuzaki had an unreadable expression, while Light didn't doubt that his confusion was perfectly clear. "When I asked you if we were a little over a week ago you did not respond positively."

Light remembered that incident, but thought that Ryuzaki had forgotten it or at least didn't count it.

"When I said- I didn't mean-" Light was dangerously close to babbling, and he noticed that the classroom they were still talking in had almost cleared out. "Get lunch with me and I'll explain, alright?"

Ryuzaki looked dubious.

"Please?" Light added.

"Fine."

They decided to walk to the mall, where they sat at an empty table outside of a cafe and ate the lunches that they had both brought from home. It barely made a difference between the two of them eating at school, but Light knew that he was more calm here than he would have been knowing that all of his former friends weren't glaring daggers at him. Although, the conversation that he knew he had to have with Ryuzaki prevented him from reaching a completely relaxed state.

"When you asked me I didn't think that we were friends," Light told him honestly. "I can be prideful, sometimes, and I took a lot of the rude things that you said to me to heart."

"You're prideful more than sometimes," Ryuzaki said.

"That's what I mean," Light chose not to be shaken by the comment. "When you said stuff like that it offended me, so, at that time, I did not consider you a friend."

"And you do now?" Ryuzaki asked, his expression was a shade of innocent that Light could tell was not being faked.

"Of course," Light replied.

"What changed?"

 _I realized that I turn into a blushing schoolgirl every time you look at me,_ Light thankfully did not say out loud.

"I guess I just got less stupid," he answered.

Ryuzaki looked unconvinced, but thankfully let the matter go.

"Do you consider me a friend?" Light asked, pretending not to hear how much he sounded like the schoolgirl he had just compared himself to.

"Light, you are the only friend I have ever had."

These words seemed to echo what L had said what felt like very long ago, but, in the real world had only been a week. Light pulled himself away from those thoughts so that he could focus on Ryuzaki. The real, not dreamt up and altered by Light's weird subconscious, Ryuzaki.

"What about your foster brothers?" Light asked.

"I consider them family," Ryuzaki's expression was getting a little easier for Light to read.

"I've had a lot of people pretend to be my friend, but I think you're the first real one I've ever had." A week ago Light wouldn't have admitted this to Ryuzaki, much less to himself. "Even though you spend half of the time insulting me."

"You spend half of your time telling me to shut up," Ryuzaki countered.

"Touché," Light said with a smirk.

"Please do not quote me," Ryuzaki mock begged him. "Everything you say will have sounded far better when I originally said it."

Light rolled his eyes.

"How long have you and your foster brothers all lived together?" Light asked curiously.

"Unfortunately not when they first entered the system," Ryuzaki regarded sadly. "Mello and Matt came to Wammy's house around when they were eight. Near, who you haven't met yet, joined as a little after that. I don't remember the exact dates, but I think that Mello has them written down in his diary."

"Mello keeps a diary?" Light couldn't help asking.

"Matt does as well. I convinced them each to start one when they were younger for therapeutic reasons," Ryuzaki explained. "Mello needed a way to express his anger without injuring other children. Writing ended up helping him more than I thought it would be."

"I understand that," Light commented. "Sayu convinced me to start keeping a journal recently, and I think it's helped with my anxiety."

Light would leave out the real reason he was keeping his journal and the fact that it was more of a sleep log than an actual journal.

"There are times when I think that I should be writing one to help me clear my head if nothing else," Ryuzaki mused.

"And why don't you?" Light asked.

Ryuzaki shrugged.

"Lack of free time," he settled with for his answer.

"Yet you still have enough time to read all of those mystery books?" Light raised an eyebrow.

Ryuzaki shrugged again.

"Some of my writing prompts could resemble journal entries, although I write about Matt and Mello more than I write about myself."

"Tell you what," Light said. "Start one, tomorrow at the latest, and keep writing in it for... for, let's say two weeks. Then figure out if it helps you or not."

"The moment I become your friend you give me extra work," Ryuzaki remarked blandly.

"Now you know how I feel," Light replied. "And you know I'm worth any extra work I give you."

"I will keep a journal for two week, if you do something for me," Ryuzaki said in a no-nonsense voice.

"What?"

"Call me L instead of Ryuzaki."

Light brilliantly masked how hard it suddenly was for him to breath. He scolded himself for automatically thinking of his dreams. L was Ryuzaki's real name after all, so why shouldn't he want his only friend to call him that? If anything, this question should have made Light's hear beat faster out of excitement not fear. He should be acting like the blushing schoolgirl, not the terrified nutcase. Hadn't he decided that the dreams didn't scare him anymore? Maybe it wasn't the fact that this was yet another thing to remind him of the dreams. The problem was that he fought seeing L as Ryuzaki, but this would seal the deal and make them one and the same in his delusional eyes.

"Alright, L."

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Wednesday_

 _Matt is still refusing to go to a hospital, but I think his ankle's a lot better. If he wasn't in so much pain, then I would laugh at how weird he looks wobbling around on one crutch. L made him promise that if he's not able to walk without the crutch in a week he has to go to the hospital, but I still don't think he'll go willingly. And I wouldn't hold it against him to start kicking and screaming (and biting) if they tried to make him. Matt hates hospitals and doctors._

 _I convinced Sayu to cut class today so that we could discuss new tactics on spying on her brother. Nothing really got done, though. We ended up talking about off topic stuff while we hid by the gym, since it's only used in the morning and after school._

 _She gave up lecturing me about the stolen game, but won't give up making jokes about me and Matt. Matt thinks its funny, but I think it's just irritating._

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _Mello can be fussy. He will deny it with his dying breath, but it's true. He can spend the entire day badgering me about taking care of myself because I'm injured._

 _He says he's just being nice because it's his fault that we were running in the first place, but he's being fussy because he's worried._

 _I don't mind that._

* * *

Light was not irritated. He might me very, very slightly annoyed, but nothing more than that. Why? Because he had not reason to be irritated!

When Misa Amane flung herself at him after school the next day, shouting that she needed to talk to him, he knew that he had no reason to be agitated by this. At least, had Misa not been a featuring character in his dreams, he would have no reason to be agitated with her. Not that he had anything against the girl at the moment, but putting up with her in one reality was enough. Although he didn't stop himself from thinking this, he didn't want it to show. Misa was a touchy person, and he didn't want to spend the next five minutes convincing her that he wasn't upset with her.

That is, he thought that he wouldn't have to spend the next five minutes convincing her that he wasn't irked as long as he didn't show his annoyance, however redeeming Misa ended up being what she wanted to talk to him about. Apparently some of Light's former friends had talked to Misa about Light and Ryuzaki before they had ambushed him. She had heard how terrible the intervention had gone, and was now full of apologies for conspiring with the enemy.

"It's okay, Misa," Light assured her. "I'm pretty sure their argument would have been the same wether they talked to you or not."

This worked to calm her down, and Light decided to chance asking another question.

"No offense," he started with. "But I'm a little surprised that you weren't a part of the crowd that talked to me yesterday. I mean, I'm sure some of them meant well."

He was dubious about the last bit, but telling Misa this didn't help either of them.

"For one they didn't ask Misa," the attitude that Misa said this with was clearly meant toward the people that they were talking about and not Light. "They just wanted to know what I knew about you and Ryuzaki. But if they did ask me, I would have told them to get lost!"

"Really?" Light wasn't expecting this strong of an answer.

"It's one thing to be worried about you, but it's another thing to judge you to your face," Misa explained. "Misa-Misa is not a judger!"

"That's actually very big of you," Light marveled.

"Thanks," she blushed.

He was about to politely end the conversation, before the realized one more thing he needed to ask her.

"Misa, the whole school isn't talking about what happened, are they?"

"Um," her blush grew darker. "Kinda..."

"Right," Light sighed. He'd have to talk to L before he found out from someone else. "Thanks for talking to me, Misa."

 _I guess I misjudged her?_ Light thought as he walked away.

* * *

L picked up on the second ring. The lack of an few extra seconds to fully collect his thoughts did nothing for Light's nerves. When normal people answer a call they say 'hello?' or 'who is this?' to at least let the caller know that they had picked up at all. All that Light was given was an absence of the dial tone to know that he was now speaking to L.

"Hello?" Light asked.

"I don't remember giving you my number," L responded with instead of an greeting.

"You didn't," Light told him. "I saved it from that time you called me."

"To think I'm the one our peers are calling a stalker," L mused.

"You track down my number, and called me to ask something that wasn't really your business, but me saving your number makes me the stalker?" Light asked with just a hint of exasperation.

"Yes," L replied after a moment a mulling the question over.

"I'm not even going to argue," Light knew how to pick his battles.

"Does that mean that I win?"

"Keep dreaming," Light remarked dryly.

"I'm taking that as yes, anyway," L informed him, and Light couldn't help but chuckle. "Light, don't take this the wrong way, but why are you calling me?"

"Oh," Light forced his brain to refocus on the conversation that he did not want to have to have. "Remember we went off campus for lunch the other day?"

"Yes."

"And you remember why I told you I didn't want to eat at school?" He asked.

"You were vague about it, but I believe you said that you had an argument with some of our classmates."

"Yeah," Light's hand that wasn't holding the cell phone through his hair. "Look, I'm only telling you this because it sort of concerns you and I don't want you to find out from someone else."

Light paused to go over exactly how he wanted to phrase his next few sentences.

"Go on," L encouraged.

"Alright," Light cleared his throat. "I did have somewhat of an argument the day before. It was with most of the people that I used to eat lunch with before I started sitting with you."

"You mean your friends?" L asked.

"They're not my friends anymore," Light told him. "I'm not sure that they ever were, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, they confronted me because I'm not spending anytime with them anymore because..."

"Because you're spending time with me instead," L finished.

"Yeah," Light admitted. "Anyway they wanted to know why and said some rude stuff, so I ended up snapping at them and storming off."

"Did you hit anyone?" L asked dryly but seriously.

"No," Light answered. "You think I'm stupid enough to pick a fight against fifteen people?"

"Yes."

"Shut up," Light smirked. "Anyway, the reason that I told you was because I'm pretty sure they all hate me now and everyone at school is talking about it."

"Thank you."

"You had a right to know," Light shrugged even thought L couldn't see him.

"No, not for telling me, although I do appreciate it," L corrected. "Thank you for standing up for me."

Light knew that he didn't have to explain what had been said to make him snap for L to have a good idea.

"Your welcome." Light was beyond grateful that L couldn't see him, for his cheeks were starting to burn with what he refused to call a blush. Needing to change the subject to something that wasn't dangerously close to letting his crush on the other boy control him, Light asked: "So how's your journal going?"

"Well."

"You didn't start it," Light concluded.

"I don't like how you can infer that," L practically huffed.

"You don't like it because it sounds like I think your lazy or because I'm right and you don't want to admit that I can read you as well as you can read me?" Light asked with a wide grin.

"I wouldn't say that you can read me as well as I can read you," L objected.

"Start it now," Light ordered.

"I can't write and talk to you at the same time," L pointed out.

"Then lucky for you I am about to hang up," Light countered.

"I don't like that you're using this as an excuse to end our conversation," L muttered.

"Goodbye, L," Light said in a sing-song voice that he hadn't known he was capable of.

L hung up.

* * *

 _L's Journal_

 _I ended my phone call with Light to write something in this, so I might as well. Although, I could neglect this new chore and lie to Light when he asks me how my journal is going. I doubt he would want to check my progress, he would most likely see that as an invasion of privacy. There is a layer of irony to him forcing me to write something, considering his lack of interest in writing anything when we are in a class on the subject._

 _I honestly don't know how Mello and Matt are able to make a diary entry everyday. I've only started less than a minute ago, and I am already out of ideas of what to talk about. I suppose I might as well continue writing about Light, since, after his phone call, it's difficult for me to think of anything else. I am glad that he told me about what happened between him and his former friends. I will admit that I am surprised that he gave up association with them for my friendship. I greatly admire Light and enjoy his company, but I didn't realize that he thought the same of me. I'm happy that he does._

 _That is all for today._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Animelover5008, while Light is awake he remembers everything, but dream-Light only remembers what he remembers in the show/manga. Thanks for your review! Also thank you also to Lunacat247 for reviewing!


	14. Chapter Thirteen

_Light Yagami's Sleep Diary_

 _Time: 6:03_

 _Day: 29th_

 _Month: May_

 _Year: Omitted_

 _I'm not routing for myself anymore. I don't know if it's because of L, or if my stomach just isn't strong enough for me to handle constantly dreaming about murdering people for the greater good, or if I've just become to invested in what the me without my memories is doing. Who am I kidding? It's because of L._

 _For Kira to win, no, for me to win, he has to die. I know it's not the real L, and I know that all of this is just in my head, but it's still going to feel like I killed him on some level. Every time that I look at him I'm still going to think that some part of me didn't care about him enough to keep him alive. I know how delusional I sound, but if some buried part of me doesn't control my actions during the dream then what does?_

 _At this point I'd rather dream of my own demise than of killing L. I fully understand how cheesy it sounds. I will gladly admit that I do have feelings for him (I'll gladly admit it to myself that is), but I'm not thinking this just because of my crush. I know that, when the case is solved, my dream-self is going to continue the plan, but I'd like to think that after working and becoming friends with someone I wouldn't be able to kill him. I know what my goals are, my dream-self's goals, I mean, but I don't want to be strong and hard-hearted enough to continue them. I would rather be weak than loose what it is to be human._

* * *

"How high is the probability that did start journaling versus the probability that you ignored your end of our deal?" Light asked as he state down at their usual table.

He had given up trying to beat or walk with L to lunch, reasoning that standing between the boy and cake was something he was wise enough to avoid. They hadn't had the chance to talk in class that day, but Light doubted that L would have permitted off task conversation. If Sayu thought that Light was OCD when it came to school, he would like to see her reaction to L in class.

"If I didn't hold up my end I would admit it to your face?" L asked.

"I knew you didn't do it," Light concluded.

"Actually I did write a journal entry," L informed him. "I would show you to prove it, but I'm not comfortable with other people seeing my personal writing."

"That makes me think that you wrote something embarrassing," Light teased.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

"I honestly don't care what you wrote about, I just think it would be good for you to try it."

 _Unless you wrote about me_ , Light's thoughts contradicted. _Then I want the exclusive right to pour over every word._

"I'll take your word for that," L said in a voice that made Light fear he could read his mind. "Out of curiosity, had I not written and confessed this to you would you drop your end of our deal since I did not withhold mine?"

"No," Light answered without hesitation. "L fits you better than Ryuzaki."

"Even though it's just a letter and not a real name?"

"L," Light took the rare moment to address his friend as if he were a child. "Are you a real person?"

"Yes," L answered despite the look that Light was giving him.

"Then your name is a real name," Light stated simply. "Anyone who says that it isn't is just being immature."

L smiled and Light felt like he had just won the lottery.

"Can I ask you something random?" Light asked.

"I think you're going to whether I give you permission or not," L drawled.

"How much sleep do you get?"

"What brought this on?" L asked back, not defensively, out of an honest curiosity to why Light wanted to know this.

"You always have bags under your eyes," Light said sheepishly. "It's not unappealing or anything, I was just wondering."

"I'm an insomniac," L told him. "Last night I slept for three hours, this is about normal for a weeknight."

"And you're not tired?" Light, who averaged seven to eight hours a weeknight, asked.

"The sugar helps me stay awake," L took a big bite of his cake for emphases. "That and coffee."

"With extra sugar?" Light asked, knowing the answer already.

"You're getting it now."

There was a short moment of silence before L started smirking.

"What?" Light asked, wondering what blunder he had made now to humor his sugar-filled, insomniac friend.

"You think that I am not unappealing?" L grinned and Light rolled his eyes.

"Take it that way if you want," he allowed. _I think you're a lot more than that._

"I will."

"Oh shut up," Light rolled his eyes again.

"I don't want to."

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Fifteen_

 _I think having friends is going to get me into trouble. Not that Mello's been caught doing anything bad when I'm around, but I know it's only a matter of time. Although, I knew that cutting class with him was a bad idea, but for some reason I keep letting him suck me into these kinds of things. You can only get so lucky. However, as much as I love to steer clear from anything that's going to get me in someone's bad books, today Mello's reckless attitude made me proud to call him my sort-of-friend/partner-in-crime (by crime I only mean the spying, I'm not participating in any other illegal activity that he wants to get involved with)._

 _Today I was hanging out with Matt in the lunch area after school while we waited for Mello to show up so that we could walk home (I started walking with them after lying to Light about it). Matt was playing the stolen game (he plays a lot of video games) and I was watching him. We had been doing this for about five minutes, when I heard raised voiced saying some very inappropriate things in Matt's direction._

 _I looked up to see this kid that I didn't know but I'm pretty sure is in our grade. Matt told me to ignore him, and focused very intensely on his game. I copied him. It was when the boy took Matt's crutch (he needs it to walk because of his ankle) and started waving it around, that I had enough. I stood up and told him to stop. He called me a word that my parents would kill me if I said out loud._

 _Matt put down the game and called him a word that Light once got grounded for an entire month for saying in the house. This angered the bully so much that he had the nerve to push Matt (who, need I remind you, can barely stand straight due to his ankle). I grabbed Matt's arm to steady him, screaming at the jerk as I did so._

 _I didn't see Mello come, but one second the bully was standing in front of us, the next the was sprawled on the ground. The blonde junior-high-super-hero looked madder than I had ever seen him. He yanked the crutch from the loser on the ground and handed it back to Matt before kicking the guy for good measure._

 _Mello: You guys okay?_

 _Matt: I'm fine. Sayu?_

 _Me: That was so awesome!_

 _I will admit that I got a little excited. I'm not one to encourage violence, but Mello practically appeared out of no where and saved the day. Now I have a better idea of what Matt sees in him._

 _We left before a teacher showed up and Mello got in trouble. I'm getting the sense that this sort of thing happens a lot from the way that the two of them were handling it. I can't begin to describe how much that upsets me, but I decided to save that conversation for another day._

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Creative Writing Prompt Nineteen_

 _May 30th_

 _Pretend you're a tree. What are you thinking as they try to cut you down?_

 _No matter who or what you are a simple fact of the world is that life is fleeting and how yours begins and ends is rarely in our own hands. I tell myself this when I see the chain saws being brought out. I don't remember the faces of humans, but the men pushing the carts and carrying the supplies have a familiar feel to them. However, that might be my last glimpse of sentimentality when faced with the end._

 _If I wanted to think optimistically, I would say that I made it longer than I had assumed that I would. This much is true, I've lived far into my adulthood while most trees are chopped down no long after coming of age. I doubt that humans give out ages much thought when they choose who is being cut each day. It probably has to do with how old we look and how much wood we are going to contribute._

 _I won't deny that I'm scared of what will happens to my beautiful trunk and full branches once they've finished off my live. At least I won't be around to witness it. For a being who's death has been inevitable since my birth, I have never put much thought into what I believed would happen to my soul once my body has been diminished. I suppose now, seconds away from my own demise, is a tad bit too late to ponder such things. I'll just have to wait and see._

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Creative Writing Homework_

 _May 30th_

 _Prompt: Pretend you're a tree. What are you thinking as they try to cut you down?_

 _The second stage of grief is anger, but it's the first and only that I feel. I knew that this was coming, but it doesn't make it any less painful. If I was a person I would be able to fight back, but there is nothing that I can do to stop my inevitable doom. There is no possible way for me to make myself harder to strike down, and even if there was I know it would do little good. This is not a battle, for I have no defense against their attacks._

 _I think of how rotten their world must be if they have to destroy me and all others like me to support themselves. When it all comes down to it, my life will be taken and tossed aside without a second thoughts. This is what fuels my anger, and it tears me apart to feel how useless everything that I think and feel is. I can't communicate, therefore all of my thoughts will dissolve the moment I am no longer around to think them. There is so escape from my fate. A tree cannot evade death._

* * *

 _Light Yagami's Sleep Diary_

 _Time: 7:48_

 _Day: 31st_

 _Month: May_

 _Year: Omitted_

 _It happened. We solved the case. My plan worked. I remembered everything._

 _I'm staying home from school today. I told everyone that I have a cold and am taking the day to rest. I even called L to tell him that I wouldn't be in class today. I don't know if he saw through the lie or not. If he did I don't know why he didn't say anything. I might not have a cold but I do feel sick to my stomach._

 _I woke up the second after I touched the Death Note and everything came flooding back. It gave me the same jolt that them leaving did, only this time my heartbeat won't go back to it's normal pace. I'm not ready to go back to being Kira, and I know that I'm going to the moment that I go to sleep tonight._

 _I'm starting to wish that I told someone about the dreams when they first started. Well, I can't think of anyone I'd be able to tell. I don't want my parents to think that I'm delusional, and I wouldn't be able to explain to them why I'm so upset right now. Sayu was the one who suggested me keeping the sleep log, but confiding in her is completely out of the question. I've recently discovered that the only real friend that I have is L, and I don't if I would be able to tell him everything._

 _When the dreams first started the thought of even speaking to L wouldn't have crossed my mind. I realize that is was only a month ago when they did start, but it feels like so much longer. I've changed so much since then. Well, my anxiety levels have certainly shot up, and I've discovered that my teenage hormones are not as nonexistent as they once appeared to be._

 _I know that I owe part of why I feel so different now than I did a month ago to the dream, but I also think that it's because of L. And the fact that I would never know how to tell him this is exactly why I don't know how to tell him about the dreams. I doubt that he would judge me for them, actually I know he wouldn't, but opening up to anyone has never been easy for me. When you add my feelings for him onto the already towering pile of reasons not to confide in him, the answer is clear. I guess I'll just have to weather this storm on my own for now._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** AllyAAB1999 and Luncacat247, thanks for your reviews. This story is going to be seventeen chapters and an epilogue (my draft has the complete fic at over 47k). Light's dreams are not going to stop until Death Note ends, but that doesn't necessarily mean that this fic will cover all of that. Also thank you to Callicanios for your reviews on both this story an my other LxLight fic. I'm happy you like this one too!


	15. Chapter Fourteen

The class was asked to report and discuss how their long term projects were going. The last thing that Light wanted to think about was a project that would not only demand every ounce of creativity he had inside of him but wasn't due for the next few months. He was not in the mood to focus on something like this.

"It's going fine," he lied to L.

"I don't believe you," L told him.

"I know," Light accepted. "What did you end up writing about?"

"I didn't start mine," L admitted.

"Now I feel bad for lying," Light only half meant this.

"You should," L took him seriously. "If you get used to lying about such mundane subject, imagine how you might react in a serious yet uncomfortable situation."

"You're taking this too far," Light informed him.

"But I'm right," L added.

"But I don't what to be psychoanalyzed right now," Light ended the matter at that. "You should write about your foster brothers."

Light had assumed that Mail and Miheal were L's made up names for Matt and Mello not too long ago.

"What makes you think that?" L asked.

Light shrugged.

"The prompts that you wrote about them are good and slightly less depressing than the other stuff that you write." He answered. "You still have their permission to use them as long as you give them fake names right?"

"I use their real names," L said. "It's just not the names that they go by."

"They go by fake names?" Light asked.

"Mello apparently always has, and when Matt and he met Matt saw it as a way to get rid of being called a name that he hates."

Light was beginning to wonder is Matt and Mello would be displeased if they realized the amount of information that L gave Light on them.

"You should write about them," Light said again.

"I'll consider it."

Light knew that this was the best he was going to get out of his writing partner.

"What do you plan to write yours about?" L inquired.

"No clue," Light answered honestly. "Give me suggestions."

"Sir, yes sir," L murmured.

"Fine, that sounded more demanding than I meant it to," Light rolled his eyes, adding in a more polite tone: "Do you have any ideas for me?"

"Write from what you know," L quipped.

"Funny."

"It's good advice," L defended.

"I don't know what I know," Light remarked.

"That makes your problems sound bigger than they actually are," L said flatly. "Since you're so intent on being hopeless, just pick a random idea and see where it takes you. We have all summer, so you can always change if you get stuck."

"Okay, I'll do that," Light agreed with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

"I see your cold is better," L remarked.

"Yes," Light had been expecting this conversation would come up at some point. "It was a one day bug. I think I slept it off."

"That's good," L said in his I-don't-believe-you-but-I'm-not-going-to-say-anything-about-it voice. "Let's hope you're not contagious."

"Are you afraid of my germs?" Light joked.

"No, I haven't caught a sickness since elementary school," L responded.

"That's kind of scary," Light took in this information. "What about eighth-grade graduation? Weren't you sick for that?"

"No, I lied about that to avoid the ceremony."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to go," L shrugged. "Although I did enjoy writing my speech I felt no need to share it with the rest of the grade."

"Do you plan on playing hooky for graduation this year as well?" Light asked.

"No," L concluded after giving the matter some thought. "I believe my family would want to attend, and it wouldn't be fair for me to deny them that. Besides, this year I doubt it will be as unbearable as eight-grade would have been."

"Do I get to take credit for that?" Light asked slyly.

"If your heart is set on it." It was clear that by this L meant yes.

Light couldn't stop the stupid grin that he knew his face had contorted into anymore than he could shake the way his heart beat a little faster as L said this. For a second the layer of happiness that he was trying to portray wasn't solely forced.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Seventeen_

 _Yesterday Light had a cold, so today he told me that he would be a little late coming home from school because he wanted to swing by the drug store and get some painkillers for his headache. Mom was getting lunch with her girlfriends, and Dad would be at work until dinner so this meant that I would be home alone. I told Light that this was do big deal, and that I might end up hanging out with some friends anyway. This wasn't entirely a lie, the first thing that I did when I got to school today was find Matt and Mello and tell them that we were going to be progressing our investigation at my house today._

 _Long story short, we snooped through Light's room. This was exciting, but not helpful at all. I've been in my brother's room countless times and I already know what a neat-freak he is, but, seriously, the guy keeps his stuff so straight that it makes me really think that he is hiding something and keeps everything in it's proper place just to throw me off!_

 _The one suspicious thing that I did find was that he keeps his desk drawer locked. We couldn't find the key and Mello tried to pick the lock with my hair pin, I think he would have gotten it eventually, but around that point Matt (who was our lookout) ran in and told us that Light just came home so we needed to clear out._

 _Aside from the mysterious locked drawer, I have nothing else to report._

* * *

Sayu had been in his room. Well, Light had no proof that it was Sayu, but someone had been in his room and she and her friends were the only ones in the house, so who else could it have been? Deciding to keep the pencil lead in his door hinge was not paranoia, Light had simply not wanted to waist the idea that he had stolen from his dream, and now he was grateful that he gone to such lengths. Had he not been looking, he wouldn't have noticed that scratch marks on the lock of the drawer where he kept his sleep log. It didn't look like they had successfully picked the lock, but Light couldn't be sure.

What was his sister's problem? What compelled her to not only go in his room without permission, but to attempt to snoop through his clearly private things? Did Sayu no longer respect his privacy or was this some prank that her and her friends had thought up?

Confronting Sayu about the ordeal was out of the question. She would only counter his attack by asking what it was he wanted to hide in the drawer in the first place. Of course she didn't have the right to know, but if he didn't give an answer it would only heighten her curiosity. On the off chance that she had broken into the drawer and had a peek at his journal, she would probably want him to talk about it and get offended when he declined.

Instead Light resolved to prevent something like this from ever happening again by keeping the journal on his person at all times. Light decided to tear out the diary entries and keep only the logs of what happened in each dream. That way, on the off chance that anyone had the chance to peek inside of the notebook, the fact that he was questioning his sanity would remain a private thought. While he as at home, Light hid his journal in his school bag. Instead of throwing away the torn out pages, Light folded them neatly and hid them in the previous school year's history text book that he kept on his bookshelf.

Sighing, Light let himself fall onto his bed, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He didn't dare drift off, it was too early and he wasn't in a rush to return to watching his master plan work flawlessly. Holding on to the hope that L would some how outsmart him seemed pointless now, but that wasn't enough to make Light let go. Surely it would be harder for him to kill off the world's greatest detective. The real L would have figured out at least part of Light's plan, right?

He snapped himself away from that analogy. The more he thought about his friend as the L from his dreams the more he thought of himself as Kira. He could think back to a time when he had secretly taken pride in his dream-self's actions, but now he was holding on to every little thing that made the two of them different. The terrifying thing was that deep down he knew he was grasping at straws.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Monday_

 _I AM GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING ALBINO TWAT!_

 _I'm not joking. I will kill him. Then I'll burry his body in the backyard and make everyone watch so that they know what happens when you fuck with Mello._

 _God, I'm so pissed off._

 _While I was at Sayu's hosue Near took this book, apparently read it's entirety, and wrote grammar and spelling corrections on every page! He also thought it would be funny to erase the words "Mello's Very Manly Not Diary" and rewrite them as "Mello's Not Very Manly Diary."_

 _I'm going to murder him and donate all of his toys to a shelter._

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _Mels is gonna kill Near. I'm waiting to restrain him. I promised myself that I wouldn't let him go to prison until he reaches at least 21._

 _We'll see._

* * *

Light was pacing his room. His hands alternated from drumming against his thighs, and running through his hair. He could hear his breath and heartbeat crescendoing into a cacophony to rival a thunderstorm. Despite all of this his head a frighteningly clear.

He didn't feel like he was going to throw up. He felt like he wanted to scream. He wanted to hit something, or to throw himself into a meaningless fight that would hopefully result in himself getting injured. He wanted to feel a pain that would rival what he woke up deserving. He simultaneously wanted L and yearned for the boy to have nothing more to do with him.

Once again words like murdered pounded his brain, but this time it didn't make him feel week. This time he was filled with an anger toward the only person around to blame: himself. If he were to pull his thoughts away for long enough he would realize that he was the very picture of the insanity that he had striven to avoid. But he didn't have the chance to consider what he looked like or was doing. His mind felt like a DVD recording, playing the last thing that he remembered from the dream over and over again.

L was dead.

Not the real L. Not Light's L. But that didn't matter. That didn't stop the pain. That didn't change the responsibility that fell so heavily on Light's shoulders.

L was dead.

Light killed him.

* * *

Talking to L as if everything was normal was excruciating and exhausting. The worst part was that Light knew he wasn't pulling it off. They weren't even talking about anything important that class, and Light knew that L could see his hidden grimace as clear as day. Part of Light craved for conversation or just being within a three-foot radius of L, but another part wanted to run away the second he saw his face.

"Are you paying attention to me?" L's voice broke through Light's thoughts.

"No," he said honestly. "Sorry. Can you repeat whatever you just said?"

"No," L practically mimicked. "My words are waisted on you today."

"Sorry," Light repeated. "I didn't sleep well."

"Is your cold coming back?" L asked in a tone that made it clear to Light that L never believed he had a cold in the first place.

"Maybe," Light said anyway. "Don't worry, I won't abandon you to work with Misa's group for another class."

"I wasn't worried," L replied cooly.

"Thanks," Light said blandly. "It's nice to know you care so much."

"I don't feel like being nice when you can barely do me the courtesy of listening to what I'm saying," L told him.

"I'm not apologizing again," Light let him know.

"I wasn't asking you to," L shot back.

"Are we really arguing or are we joking here? I can't tell," Light voiced.

"I'm offended that you're not making the effort to figure it out," L huffed.

"I know that one was fake," Light told him flatly. "I can tell when you're actually offended, you know."

"You know me too well," L replied.

 _And you don't know me well enough_ , Light thought. _If you did, would you still be talking to me?_

Thoughts like this wouldn't leave him alone. At first the bickering had helped. It added some normalcy to the emotions and thoughts that hounded him, but now their conversation seemed to be rubbing his actions in his face.

 _But it wasn't you're actions,_ some part of him reasoned. _It was a dream. That wasn't you._

 _Who dreamt it?_ The section of his brain that was currently in control demanded. _Everything that happened in their came from me. How is that any better than me actually doing everything that I dreamt?_

"See, not paying attention," L observed.

"You didn't say anything, idiot," Light bit back.

"And if I did you wouldn't have heard it because you were too busy spacing out," L concluded.

That was one way to put it.

While Light was walking out of class, he didn't see who tripped him, but he knew that his fall had been deliberate. Even in that dazed state that he was in Light was hardly clumsy. It was true that he had lost his popularity, but Light hadn't realized that he had so easily become a target to his peer's amusement. However, he didn't have the chance to catch sight of the culprit, for he was too busy trying to gather the contents for his school bag that was now disorderly spread across the floor of the classroom. Certain papers had even spilled out the door and into the now crowded hallway. L and Misa helped him gather his things before they were trampled by students who couldn't be bothered to noticed his dilemma.

"Are you okay?" Misa asked worriedly as Light stuffed the last folder into his bag.

"I'm fine, thanks," Light told her. She beamed at him before giving a slight bow of her head and disappearing into the crowd of high-schoolers.

L offered a hand to help Light to his feet. Light took it and cursed the way his heart jumped at the contact.

"Are you sure?" L asked once Light was standing.

"Someone tripped me," Light shrugged off the matter. "It's hardly the end of the world."

"What happened to your anger issues?" L feigned an innocent tone.

"You want to find out?" Light jokingly threatened.

As they headed to lunch, Light didn't noticed that his bag was one book short.

* * *

 _L's Journal_

 _I could say that everything is normal in my life at the moment, but once I elaborate that statement will show how completely abnormal my life is._

 _Mello has not yet attempted to kill Near, but Matt is keeping him within his line of vision at all times to make sure of this. I'm surprised that it took until now for Near to find and read his diary, considering he keeps it in their room. I do think that correcting the spelling and grammar was a bit much, however funny it may be. I stopped him from giving me the entire summary of everything that he read, although the information that I did let him tell me could serve as good blackmail material should I ever try to find out why Mello and Light's sister were spying on us that day that we started fighting._

 _Speaking of Light, something is upsetting him. It was clear that he was agitated the entire day, and, Light being Light, he said nothing to prove or disprove this theory. I doubt that he would tell me what was wrong if I asked, but I would like to know. As much as I joke about his insecurities and/or issues, I do find myself worrying about him._

 _This is all that I'm going to write for now._

* * *

The notebook was gone. Light was pacing again. He didn't think that it was stolen, so it must have fallen out of his bag when he was tripped. Misa had gathered most of what had fallen into the hallway, and it was possible that she wouldn't noticed it. If that was where it had fallen then it could be anywhere by now. Light held onto the hope that it had simply slid to a corner of the classroom that he hadn't noticed and he would be able to find it the next day. Still, this did nothing to calm his already tightly wound nerves.

* * *

 _Ryuzaki L Lawliet_

 _Long Term Project Attempt One_

 _June 2nd_

 _What does the word 'family' mean? Does it refer to the people that you are born bonded to? The people that you care about despite everything that you do to torment each other? Those that you find and join with throughout your life? Or is it talking about the friends that you are thrust with and find yourself clinging to because of some flawed magnet that must be love?_

 _I know that my first answer you suit most people. The average person is born into their family and stuck with them for the rest of their life. My brothers and I were not born together, but we are stuck none the less. I know that I am looked up to and admired by all three of them, but there are times that I feel I am the bystander to the adventure and insanity that takes place in the house we've all come to call home. This isn't my story, it's Mail and Mihael's._

* * *

 _Light Yagami_

 _Long Term Project First Draft_

 _June 2nd_

 _About a month ago I could confidently say that I have never been in love. I could also say that I have never questioned my sanity or feared that my terrible methods of dealing with anxiety would be the end of me. I could say that I never bothered with my sexuality and certainly never sacrificed how people viewed me to keep the friendship of someone who I secretly wish to be more than friends with._

 _About a month ago I was a different person, and it's stretching to truth to say that a owe a good deal for my transformation to an emotion that doubted I would feel anything soon._

 _Love._

* * *

Light wanted to tell L everything. He wanted L's voice to tell him that everything was going to be fine. That he was alright and Light wasn't insane. Light wanted to pull L into his arms and not let go of him. He wanted the two of them to be the only thing in the world that mattered.

He wanted love to be simple.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I almost forgot to update today because I was too busy trying to kill my computer with my Death Note. Yes, my computer has a name... By the way, are any of your watching the new TV drama? I just saw the first episode, this was before I tried to give my computer a heart attack.

Thank you to Guest, Bluxpudding, Callicanios, Blazedoll, and SkyPumpkin for review! Guest, in response to your question, you'll have to wait and see (but I didn't click romance as one of the genres or put the pairing as LxLight for no reason). ;-)


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Light told L to go to lunch without him and that he'd catch up. L accepted this and left the classroom alone. Light knew that he wouldn't have had to give much of an explanation, if L wanted to know he would ask him when Light wasn't standing between him and the sugary food he was about to eat. Light waited until the classroom had cleared out before approaching his teacher's desk. She was to focused in the papers that he assumed she was grading to noticed that he remained in the classroom.

"Ms. Kawaguchi?" Light cleared his throat before speaking the woman's name.

"Light, what can I do for you?" She asked, putting down the papers that had been taking up her attention.

"I was wondering if you found a notebook yesterday," Light told her sheepishly. "I think it fell out of my bag when I was in here."

"Yes," her smile tightened. "I was wondering if you were going to come collect it today."

She opened a drawer of her cluttered desk and produced Light's sleep log.

"I read a bit of it, I hope you don't mind," she said as she handed it over to him.

He most certainly did mind, but of course he couldn't say that he did. She was a teacher, no matter how annoying she was, and Light was not the type of person to disrespect authority.

"Yeah, I don't mind," he muttered.

"I like the direction that you're headed with this, it's your writing at it's best," she praised.

"Thanks," Light said uncertainly.

"Although I understand wanting to have your first draft on paper, I would suggest typing it out afterward." She continued. "Especially since I'm only accepting typed final drafts for the assignment."

She thought that this was his long term assignment.

"I was planning on that if I use this idea," Light lied.

"You definitely should," she let him know. "It's very dark, but most of what you write is."

Light nodded.

"I recommend not using the names of people that you know, though." Kawaguchi pursed her lips before asking: "Does Ryuzaki know that you've written him as your enemy?"

"I didn't tell him about this story," Light stated, trying to suppress his urge to grimace the moment that L was brought up.

"If I were him I would be flattered," she clearly could not see Light's agitation. "Aside from his death I was given the impression that you've put the most work into his character."

"I guess I did," Light reasoned that it was better to agree.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you kill him off?"

 _He was in my way._

"I just felt that it was right for the story arc," Light lied.

"I see," she mulled over what he said. "I liked what you were doing with the relationship between the character that you named after yourself and him. Your readers would love to rout for their friendship no matter how toxic it is."

 _Toxic._

"If you don't change his name, you might want to warn Ryuzaki that you kill his character," Kawaguchi advised.

"Yeah, I will," Light needed to get out of the classroom. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Kawaguchi."

"Alright," she smiled. "Keep working on that story."

Light kept it together until he made it to the hallway. Everyone was either in class or at lunch, so he was completely alone in the usually crowded space. Exhaling loudly, Light let himself lean and the slide his full weight against the wall until he was no longer standing. Darkness engulfed his vision as he pressed his eyes shut, covering them with his shaking hands. Despite all of his insecurities Light had never hated himself. Not until that moment, that is.

 _Toxic._

That word completely summed him up.

Was there a point in their friendship when he had actually been nice to L? Sure they had pleasant conversations and teased each other the way that friends did, but Light had spent most of the last month regarding L as a weirdo. Then he had hit him just because he had said something offensive. All of this L didn't seem to mind, but Light doubted that he himself would have put up with someone who had treated him like this.

Then there was everything that L didn't know. Even if he didn't know that everything that happened in the dreams were his fault, even if he was the victim of his own delusions, it was impossible to deny that the dreams would tear whatever friendship they had apart. Light couldn't look at L without being at least a little reminded of the dreams, and sooner or later it was going to show. How on earth had he thought that they could be friends never mind anything more?

Light knew the answer to this. He hadn't cared. He had valued L and thought that it would be awful if their relationship withered, but he hadn't weighed hurting L as a risk. Now he did.

He was toxic. L could do better. No, Light owed it to L to make sure that he did better. In that moment answers to the questions that had been hounding Light relentlessly became tauntingly easy to see.

Yes. He was in love with L. This wasn't the first time that he had reached this conclusion, but only now Light realized the full extend of it. He loved L with every ounce of his heart.

No. He could never tell L about his feelings or the dreams. L needed someone better than him. L deserved someone better than him.

It was over.

"Seventeen minutes and forty three seconds," L announced as Light approached his table.

"You were counting how much of lunch I missed," Light wished that he could smile.

"I was counting the amount of intelligent conversation that you deprived me of." L noticed that Light hadn't sat down. "What's on your mind?"

"I can't be around you anymore," Light forced himself to get the words out. "I need you to stay away from me."

"Why?"

 _Because I'm toxic._

"I don't have to tell you."

 _Because you can do better._

"I need to go," Light didn't know where he was going, but he knew that he needed to be as far away from L as he could get.

 _Because I love you._

* * *

Light was sitting in an empty stairwell, trying to pretend that he had enough of a stomach left to eat, when his phone rang. His caller ID recognized the number as his father's. This was when he should have identified that something was wrong. His parents never called him during school hours, he had doubted that they even knew he kept his cell phone on. However, Light was too upset to be suspicious.

"Hello?" Light made his voice sound cheerful.

"Light, do you know where Sayu is?"

The moment Light heard his father's frantic voice, his sorrow melted away to be replaced with pure fear.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Nineteen_

 _It's currently not day nineteen, or at least it's too late in the night for me to consider it as the same day. I'm still labeling it as day nineteen, because I'm trying to write all of this as accurately as possible before I forget the details. This is going in my log even though it has little to do with Light. I'm thinking that writing everything that happened will be a good therapy for me, although I'm not as freaked out as everything thinks that I should be._

 _Okay, so it started when I was supposed to be in math class..._

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Wednesday_

 _Sayu and I were cutting class again. I think I'm turning her into a rebel. We were hiding in a corner of the hallway by the gym. I'm not sure exactly what we were saying, but we were talking about what our next move should be for our plan to spy on her brother._

 _That was when the alarm went off. At first I thought that it was a fire drill, but Sayu recognized it as the lock down bell right away. I was irritated, because teachers always take attendance during lock down drills. Then Sayu started freaking out_

 _Sayu: We had a drill last month, right?_

 _Me: Yeah._

 _Sayu: We only have two lock down drills a year, one at the beginning and one at the end._

 _Me: Shit._

 _This meant that whatever was going on right now was the real deal, and Sayu and I were stranded outside of every classroom since teachers lock the doors and turn the lights off the second that they hear the alarm. She was starting to panic, probably thinking of what could be happening to cause a lock down. My mind had automatically gone to the horror stories I had heard of armed gun men coming to a random middle or elementary school and shooting every kid or adult that they saw._

 _I grabbed Sayu's arm and we started running toward the gym. I knew that the gym itself wouldn't be the best hiding place, but the weight room might be. The light's were off when we got there, but thankfully it wasn't locked. We quickly got inside and closed to door, it could only lock with a key so we had to hope that being inside the dark room would be enough cover for us._

 _I tried to put on a brave face, because Sayu looked like she was about to faint, but I was pretty freaked out also. Okay, that's putting it lightly. I have never been more fucking terrified than I was in that very, very long moment._

* * *

"She's at school, right?" Light asked his father back.

"No, I just received a call from her principal, apparently her and another student are not in class right now." Light had never heard his father's voice shake the way that it was right now.

"Dad, what's going on?" Light asked as patiently as he could.

"A student came to Sayu's school with a knife today. A teacher saw the weapon, but wasn't able to get it away from him," he answered. "No ones been hurt, but they're locking down and evacuating the school."

"And Sayu's missing."

"You're sure that she didn't try to ditch school?"

"Yes," Light ran a hand through his hair. "I walked her there, I saw her go into the building."

"Alright, thanks you," his father sounded like it took all his strength to get the words out. "I need to go."

"Dad?" Light needed to ask him one more thing. "Do you know the name of the other missing kid?"

"Mihael Keehl."

"Okay," Light swallowed. "Thanks. Call me when they find them."

"I will."

Light was on his feet and running back to the lunchroom. It was a wonder that he didn't trip bolting down the stairs, for his entire body could not stop shaking. Thankfully L was exactly where Light had left him. The fact that the entire lunchroom could see his panicked and terrified state didn't bother Light in the slightest, in fact it was the furthest thing from his mind.

The moment he had reached the table, he was recounting his phone call with his father to L. The look of contempt that L's face had took on when he had first spotted Light faded into an equally fearful expression. The second that Light had finished explaining everything that he knew about what was going on, L was on his feet. Light didn't stop him from grasping his hand as the two of them fled the lunchroom and the campus of the school in the direction of where they hoped Sayu and Mello were.

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _I had a clear idea of what was going on when my class was evacuated. My teacher had a phone call before the lock down alarm went off, although she tried to keep her voice down, I could hear that the conversation was about a student in her class coming to school with a weapon. The only student missing was the asshole who likes to spend most of his time trying to ruin my life. And, if anyone is going to bring a weapon to school, it's going to be this guy._

 _It was when we were filing out of the classroom, that I realized it was fifth period. When Mello and Sayu cut class it's aways during fifth period. Mello and Sayu stuck in the hallway, plus crazy jerk who Mello has beat up more than twice, equals not good._

 _For a kid with bright red hair and a limp from my not fully healed ankle, I'm pretty good at going unnoticed. I was able to pull my cell phone out of my pocket without catching the attention of my teacher. I texted Mello "where r u" and less than a minute later he replied with "hiding" im ok."_

 _Saying that he was okay was the quick way of telling me not to worry. But I know that if it was Mello who was safely evacuating the campus and me hiding Mello would run back into the school and find me. If someone who I was sure wanted me dead was wandering around with a weapon while I hid unarmed, Mello wouldn't hesitate to come to my rescue, dangerous or not._

 _So that was exactly what I did._

* * *

"The police should be at the school," Light said as they ran down the sidewalk.

"We're far from the station," L reminded him. "I'm not waiting for someone to tell me that they're safe. I need to see it for myself."

"Yeah, me too," Light exhaled. "How are we going to find them?"

"They're cutting class," L informed him. "I believe they like to hide by the gym."

"How the hell do you know this?" Light's tone did not have the energy to be angry that his words did.

"Near read Mello's diary and gave me highlights."

Had the situation been different, L might have been smirking.

"Alright," Light tried to clear his head. "So we get on campus and head to the gym."

"Sounds like a plan," L replied.

They were still holding hands.

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Nineteen Continued_

 _Mello got a text from Matt while we were hiding. I wasn't sure how much time had gone by. My phone was turned off and in my pocket. I remember considering pulling it out and turning it on, but I wasn't sure what I would do. I could've called for help. I probably should have._

 _It was when I was considering calling Dad that we heard someone outside. Well, I didn't hear anything, but Mello had his ear pressed to the door. He made eye contact with me and put a finger to his lips. We both slowly stood up from where we were cowering and retreated further into the weight room. The only problem was that there wasn't anywhere to hide. Except for the weight rack by the door and some workout equipment in the middle of the room, there wasn't any furniture._

 _When the doorknob turned and the door slowly opened, I grabbed Mello's hand. It was ice cold, but I doubted mine was any warmer. Mello's cold fingers gave mine a squeeze, but he let got the second that we both registered who was standing in front of us._

 _I recognized the boy as the bully who had taken Matt's crutch. He was holding a knife in his left hand. Mello tried act tough, I guess the scare the guy away, so he said something along the lines of: What do you want?_

 _The boy laughed and said something like: Do you know how humiliating it is to get beaten up in front of the entire school by a blonde kid who looks more like a chick than a guy?_

 _Mello didn't say anything, instead he tried to grab one of the weights on the rack by the door. The boy stopped him by grabbing hold of the collar of his shirt and thrusting the knife to the left of Mello's stomach. Mello was able to break out of his grasp, but that only resulted in him falling backward._

 _I wanted to help, but I couldn't move. I think I was screaming at this point, but I'm not sure. All I could see was the blood slowly soaking my friend's shirt._

* * *

Light and L had almost reached the gym when he heard the scream that he could have recognized a mile away.

"That's Sayu," Light didn't need to tell L this.

"It came from this direction," L's grip on Light's hand tightened as they ran.

* * *

 _Mello's Very Manly Not Diary_

 _Wednesday Continued_

 _I thought that I was going to die. Whatever humor was left inside of me was complaining that this was not the ideal way to go. I thought that I was going to go out with a bang, not be stabbed to death in the school gym room by a twerp who I could have easily beaten up if we were fighting fairly._

 _I clearly remember him standing over me. My side was burning, and I could feel something warm and sticky covering it but I couldn't bring my eyes to look. That was probably for the better, but I could see the blood on the knife. Blood that had to be mine considering he had just stabbed me. Sayu was screaming behind me, and I remember hoping that he didn't hurt her too, because I was really beginning to like the girl. I think she's the first friend that I've had who I don't live with._

 _Anyway, I thought that I was done for, and I'm pretty sure that he was about to stab me again, when I heard very loud_ thwack _sound. The bastard towered in front of me turned, well, stumbled, around, and there was Matt holding one of the weights from the rack. Apparently he had hit the boy about to stab me in the back with the weight and looked like he was about to do so again._

 _I know it sounds really cheesy and stupid, but, despite the amount of pain I was in at the time this was happening, I can't shake the image of how fucking heroic Matt looked at that moment. All of this aside, a weight doesn't beat a knife when you're standing a foot away from your opponent. My admiration promptly turned to fear for my best friend as our attacker recovered from his daze._

 _The rest of what happened is somewhat of a blur. I don't remember seeing them come in the room, or know how they got here in the first place, but the next thing I knew L and Sayu's brother were there. The moment my eyes registered that L was there, he was pulling Matt away from the psycho with the knife and out of harms way. The first thing that Light did was punch said psycho in the face (a hell of a lot harder than that time that he punched L I might add), and L used his stunned and pained reaction to get the knife away from him._

 _After that it didn't take long of the police and the ambulance to arrive. Obviously I didn't die from my wound or blood loss. If I did I wouldn't be able to be writing this, and, if I was a ghost I would have far better things to do than write in a journal. Actually I only have a flesh wound, so I was pretty lucky. I still did have to have stitches, which was not fun, but things could have been a lot worse. I'm going to have a scar now, which will be pretty cool, although it's not in a place anyone will see it._

 _I'm writing this from the hospital, L and Matt are in the room, and I'm trying to think of the best way to get rid of L so that I can talk to Matt alone. There are a couple of things I realized today and I want to tell him while I still have the nerve._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Behold the MelloxMatt shippiness! Writing my author's note while I'm loopy is a bad idea... This fic is in the home stretch now, this chapter and the next two were definitely my favorites to write (partly because Mattie finally got his heroic moment).

Thank you to Lunacat247, Callicanios, and life is short so am I for the reviews! life is short so am I, I'm sorry but I can't answer your question in fear of spoiling the next two chapters.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

After being the one elected to explain to serval doctors and nurses (some he honestly doubted were going to be taking care of Mello) what had happened, Light found his sister sitting alone in a corner of the hospital lobby. Sayu was leaning her head on her right arm, which she had placed on the arm of her chair. She looked exhausted.

"I think his family's in there right now, but if you want to go talk to him I don't think they'll mind," Light said in the calm and patient voice he assumed she needed to hear. It was easier to refer to L and the others as Mello's family even though Light knew that none of them were related.

"No," Sayu whispered. "That's okay."

"Where is Mom and Dad?" Light asked her, hardly believing their parents had agreed to leave the girl's side.

"Getting the car," her voice did not increase in volume.

Light raised an eyebrow as if to ask "and why aren't you with them?"

"I told them I wanted some time to think," she answered the unspoken question.

"Do you want me to leave?" Light asked, although he had no intention of taking his eyes off of her.

"No," Sayu thankfully replied. "I want to tell you something."

"Okay," Light took the seat next to her. "What is it?"

"Mello and I have been spying on you for the past three weeks."

Light knew that they had been in his room. However, he had not expected her to classify her behavior as spying or to have admitted this much to him. She did not look the slightest bit guilty, so there had to be more to her confession.

"Why?" Light reasoned that this was the best way the continue the conversation.

"Light." Sayu turned in her chair to look him strait in the face. The emotion reflected in her eyes contradicted itself, for she seemed both patient and frustrated, both angry and relieved. "You don't open up to people. I know that you think that you can hide the feelings that you don't want the world to see and everyone will just accept it, but I'm never going to. I know you better than you think I do, and I'm a lot smarter than you think I am."

"I don't think you're-"

"Don't interrupt me," she chided him. "I need to say everything right now while you're listening and I'm not chickening out of talking to you, okay?"

Light didn't want to think that his little sister was ever too afraid to talk to him about anything, but instead of voicing this he agreed to keep his mouth shut.

"Something has been bothering you for a while now," Sayu started up again. "There are somedays when you look like you're going to pass out for no reason and days when you act like a family member is terminal. I knew you wouldn't tell me if I asked, so I decided to find out for myself."

Light's heartbeat quickened, but he made sure that it didn't show on his face.

"I asked Mello to help me once I found out about Ryuzaki. We didn't find out what it is that's bothering you, but I don't want to keep investigating anymore." Every confusing emotion that Light had read on his sister's face evaporated, leaving only determination in their wake. "I want you to tell me what's going on."

Light didn't know how to respond. It was clear that Sayu was talking about the dreams. He knew that there had been times when he had let his mask slip because of how heavy it had been weighing down on him, but he hadn't thought that he had shown enough for Sayu to notice. Maybe she did know him better than he thought.

If Light was ever going to confide in someone, then this was the ideal moment. He knew that it would do him good to get everything off of his chest, but was if fair to Sayu? Yes, she wanted him to tell her, but she didn't exactly know what she was getting herself into. It was Light's job to be the strong one, and, sure it was due time for her to see him at a venerable moment, but this was too much. How could he tell the girl who had just suffered the shock of seeing her friend stabbed that he thought he was loosing his mind?

On the other hand, he didn't want to lie to her. He owed Sayu some sort of answer. He wasn't about to hurt her by denying to speak. She was right to want him to lean on her a little, but he wasn't about to drag her down with him. He needed to tell her something true that she could help him with or at least listen to, but it couldn't be the dreams.

After reviewing all of this, Light uttered the only secret that he had left.

"I'm in love with Ryuzaki."

Sayu's face melted into a stunned expression. Light figured that he should have expected this. After all, he was telling her two truths in the form of one. His phrase said both: "Sayu, by the way, I'm gay," and "Sayu, you know Mello's foster older brother? Yeah, I have the hots for him."

"Really?" Sayu asked, her shocked eyes widening even more as she spoke.

"Yeah," Light said hesitantly.

"You and Ryuzaki," Sayu's tone made it seemed like she was talking more to herself than to him.

"Yeah," Light repeated.

"That's so perfect!" She sprang from her chair, and launched herself at him in the form of the most excited hug Light had ever experienced.

"Well," Light muttered as he disentangled her from him. "I wasn't expecting that."

"You guys would be so cute!" Sayu fangirled. "And you fit so much too! I mean, you're both really smart, and he's he only person I've ever met who's as competitive as you, and neither of you have any friends-"

"I have friends," Light's comment was ignored.

"And when you get married Mello and Matt will practically be my brothers!"

"When we what?" Light was once again ignored.

"Can I be your best man?" She didn't wait for an answer. "And Ryuzaki would probably get Matt or Mello to be his, so the three of us would write a speech together, and-"

"Sayu," Light had to restrain himself from shouting, but his voice came out firmly enough. "I haven't told him, and I don't intend to."

"Why?"

"Theres a lot of reason why," he tried to explain. "The one that I settled with was that he's better off without me. But I guess I'm too selfish to go through with pushing him away."

"You tried push him away?"

"Then a few minutes later I was running to him when I heard what was happening to you and Mello," Light added. "I'll have to apologize to him, but I don't doubt that he's already forgiving everything that I said."

"Then what's standing in your way?" Sayu questioned. "Why can't you just tell him that you want to be with him?"

Light didn't have a second to consider this before the answer that he hadn't realized until right then was coming out of his mouth: "Because I'm afraid I'm going to loose him."

"That's stupid," Sayu said making a face. "Of course you're not-"

"I'm not saying I am, I'm saying I might." It was bizarre to say all of these things out loud when he hadn't admitted them to himself. "I'm not going to take that chance."

"But he's your friend," Sayu argued. "Even if he doesn't love you back, he'll still be that."

"Maybe, but it's not going to be the same," Light told her.

"Yeah, but that'll be for the better," Sayu stated as if it was simple. She couldn't see that the entire situation was fraught with complications.

"I won't be able to hide it from him once I know that he knows." Light tried to explain. "Besides, he doesn't deserve a friend who's always going to want something more from him. That was sorta why I tried to push him away. At least right now he doesn't realize how awful I am."

"You're not awful," Sayu's words were useless. They both sat in silence for about half a minute before she felt the need to speak again. "Light?"

"Yeah?"

"What if he feels the same way and the same thing is stopping him?" The innocence in her voice reminded Light how young she was. It reminded him how young _he_ was.

"Then we're both cowards," Light let himself voice the honest answer. "But at least we can be friends."

Sayu sighed loudly.

"I think you're being a stupid genius," she informed him pointedly. Her expression soften as she added: "But I'm glad that you told me."

"I'm glad too."

Light ruffled her hair and she promptly fixed it.

"You can't tell Mom and Dad," he quickly said.

"I know." Her expression hardened again. "But you should. Not about Ryuzaki, you don't have to tell anyone else about that. But you should tell them that you're..."

"A homosexual?" Light offered, and she rolled her eyes.

"When you say in that voice it sounds a bad thing."

"It's not- I'm not," he corrected himself. "I'm happy with who I am, but it's not what every parent hopes their son with turn out to be."

"Stop being stupid," she swatted him on the arm. "Mom and Dad love you and that's not going to change because you'd rather make out with guys than make out with girls. Besides, you're the best student in your school with a successful life ahead of you. Disappointment never had any room in our house."

It was at that point that the pair noticed their mother walking towards them; their father had most likely pulled the car up outside of the hospital.

"Thank you for opening up to me," Sayu told him in their last second of privacy.

"Thank you for making me." Light meant every word.

"You know," Sayu drew out the words when their mother reached them. "On second thought I kinda wanna say goodbye to Mels."

"I can walk with her," Light offered. "Can you ask Dad to circle around the block?"

Their mother looked incredibly tired, which made Light feel more than a little guilty. However, she told them to go as long as they didn't take too long. Sayu hopped out of her chair with her new found energy, as Light stood up beside her.

 _This day is never going to end._ He thought to himself as he followed her to the elevator.

Light let Sayu lead the way to Mello's hospital room, following a few steps behind her. She reached the door and entered first, therefore Light didn't have the chance to see exactly what she walked in on. He only heard her squeal and two identically surprised shouts. Despite his better judgment, Light stepped into the room as well.

"We can go if you guys are that busy," Sayu was saying through giggles.

"That's alright." Matt, who looked the slightest bit embarrassed, was sitting in a chair pulled up next to an exheedigngly flustered Mello.

"I just came up to say bye," Sayu was still snickering. "Light had to come with me because he's my body guard."

"Okay…?" Light hoped that this was a joke.

"Since you two seem busy," Sayu drew out these words. "We'll be going."

Light was about to ask if he wanted to know what they were so busy doing, when Mello interrupted Sayu.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could have a word with Light," the blonde boy said.

If Light had ever doubted how L had influenced this kid, the way that he phrased that sentence put it to rest.

"Sayu, can you show me where the water fountain is?" Matt asked, standing up from his chair.

Sayu seemed to weigh her options before agreeing to go with Matt. Apparently discussing whatever had been going on before Light entered the room was more interesting then Mello and Light's potential conversation. Before Light could object, the two non-injured middle schoolers were out the door and Light and Mello were alone. Light sank into the chair across from the bed, deciding that the one directly next to Mello was a little too close for either of them to be comfortable with.

"What's up?" Light asked, covering his uncertainty with his trade mark smile.

"I didn't like you before today," Mello told him.

"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Light said honestly.

"Then don't because I'm not done talking," Mello retorted. "Look, I don't know what Sayu told you, but we both saw how that fight we broke up between you and L began."

Light's flinch was visible.

"I don't know what you were arguing about, but I know that you threw the first punch," Mello continued. "Since you hit my brother you understand why I have every reason not to like you?"

"Yes," Light answered shortly.

"But," Mello's harsh expression lessened. "You do get half of the credit for saving Matt and me today. Also, since you _are_ Sayu's brother I can't see you being _that_ bad of a guy."

Light was still unsure where this conversation was going.

"So," Mello cleared his throat. "I have officially decided that I am okay with you being friends with L."

"Thank you…" Light couldn't shake the uncertainty from his voice.

"However," Mello carried on as if Light had not spoken. "If you ever hit L again, I don't care how great of a guy you are, you're dead. Understood?"

Light looked at Mello for a second before a grin spread across his face.

"Understood."

"You can go now," Mello informed him.

Light nodded and walked toward the door. The moment that he opened it, he nearly collided with the very person Mello had just warned him never to strike. L was carrying five chocolate bars in one had and an assortment of other candies in the other. He looked like he had just raided an vending machine. Light held the door open for him, but L didn't move.

"We need to talk," L didn't sound upset with Light, which was a relief.

"Yeah," Light agreed.

"But not now," L added.

"I know," Light glanced back into the hospital room. "You have a lot going on right now. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

 _Matt's Journal_

 _When I thought that today couldn't change my world anymore, Mello did what he's been doing since the day I met him and threw my expectations out the window. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. When Mello decides to change something its usually for the better. I'll explain what I'm talking about now._

 _L and I were hanging out in Mello's hospital room. He has to stay there until tomorrow morning. For a while, none of us were talking. Mello was to one to break the silence once he had finished writing in his "very manly not diary" and put it to the side._

 _"_ _L, can you get me a chocolate bar from the cafeteria?" Mello asked._

 _We were on the fifth floor and the cafeteria is somewhere on the first. I'm not sure where because hospitals are harder to navigate than mazes. L knew that it would take him at least half an hour to find the cafeteria, buy the candy, and return with it. But, since Mello's injured, L happily agreed and asked me if I wanted anything as well. I said that I didn't, even though I knew he'd probably bring me some kind of candy anyway._

 _Once L left, Mello turned to me. Well, I mean he turned his attention to me, since he couldn't actually move off of the bed._

 _"_ _Matt, can I tell you something?" He ask in a serious tone of voice that he rarely uses when it's just us._

 _"_ _Sure." I said, then I moved to the chair right next to his bed. I figured that if we were going to have a serious conversation then it would be better if I was closer to him._

 _"_ _First, thanks for saving my life." He laughed a little at this, and I found out that laughing did not hurt his stitches._

 _"_ _Technically L and Sayu's brother save both of our lives." I said, because it was true._

 _Then he got this smile that I don't know how to describe without sounding sappy._

 _"_ _They saved us right after you save me."_

 _I'm a little embarrassed to say how proud I felt at that moment. Mello continued._

 _"_ _What I wanted to tell you…" I'm not exaggerating when I say that he looked the most nervous that I have ever seen him._

 _He cleared his throat._

 _"_ _What I wanted to tell you is that I like you."_

 _Since this is my journal I shouldn't have to explain what "like" means, but I will anyway. Saying that you "like" someone is the same as saying that you "like, like" someone. "Like, like" can translate from anything from a crush to one step away from in love. What I'm trying to say is that "I like you" isn't something that you say to your best friend, it's something that you say to your best friend who you want to be your boyfriend._

 _Now I've never written this before because it's the only secret that I don't tell people, but I like Mello. I think I might have since I was eight-years-old. I've never done anything about it because I always thought that things were okay the way that they were. I never thought that he would think the same about me, but it never bothered me, because I was always fine with just being his best friend. However, now that I knew he liked me back everything was completely different._

 _I think I was blushing. Okay, I know I was blushing. For about half a minute I don't think I said anything, because I was too busy taking everything in. The bad side of this is that silence can be taken as a bad thing when someone has just poured out their heart to you._

 _"_ _Sorry, I just made everything extremely awkward." Mello said before I could get anything out._

 _"_ _No!" I might have shouted a little bit. "No, it's not awkward."_

 _Mello looked at me questioningly (and a little hopefully), so I continued._

 _"_ _I like you too."_

 _I had never kissed anyone before today. Neither had Mello, I'm sure of this. However, what happened the second after I confessed my feelings (and I'm not even cringing at how cheesy it sounds) was almost instinctual._

 _I'm not really sure who began the kiss. It makes sense for it to have been me, since I had to lean over to him because Mello would have had to struggle to sit up. All that I clearly remember is that one second we were both sitting there grinning and the next my lips were on his and my hands were in his really, really soft hair._

 _We were interrupted not long after that, but I don't mind. I know that there is definitely more where that came from._

 _I guess everything's going to be different now._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thank you to Callicanios, Guest, bluxpudding, Blazedoll, Guest, JJ1083, AngelMel, Wizard-Party-Forever, Staggered Pichu, and Guest for the reviews! Also thank you to those who favorited an followed between the last update and now!

Callicanios, well Mello didn't exactly get a hug but I think he got something a bit better. As for Light needing a chair upside the head, I hope his pointed conversation with Mello cover that. Thanks again, your reviews always make me smile!

bluxpudding, I'm glad that you like the Sayu and Mello friendship! I wanted their to be a relationship in this story that wasn't romance or sibling bonding.

Guest, don't worry. It's impossible to be allergic virtual strawberries. ;-)

AngelMel, I'm happy that you find the diary entries original! Honestly, I wasn't sure how readers would respond to this, especially since I'm constantly jumping from third person to first, but everyone seems to like it so far.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Both Light and Sayu were told by their parents to skip school the day after the stabbing. For Sayu, who was doing exceptionally well despite the witnessing horrific event, this was a helpful solution. For Light however, who preferred to distract himself from anything remotely horrific, going to school would have been the best solution. Yet, he did not argue when he was told to spend the day at home. Their father had to work and both Sayu and Light had begged their mother not to cancel the outing that she had planned for that afternoon because of them. With both adults out of the house for most of the day, Light was obliged to stay with Sayu.

He hadn't slept well. Frankly it had been a month since he had slept well, but that night it was more than his dreams that prevented him from drifting off and woke him up an hour earlier than he had planned. Having nothing else to do, Light planned to spend the next thirty minutes updating his sleep log. He was about half way through explaining how four years had passed between his dream the night before, when he heard a nock on his door.

"Light? Are you awake?" Came Sayu's timid voice from outside of his room.

"Yes," Light called back, walked to the door. Not having time to put his journal away, he didn't see a risk in leaving it on his desk. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Sayu shook her heard.

"You wanna eat something?" She asked.

"Sure," he smiled as he stepped out of his room. "We can even watch those soap operas that you like, if you want."

"Now you're spoiling me," she muttered.

"Like you need the help," he teased back.

Sayu only rolled her eyes.

"You know when I said that I was fine yesterday?" She asked him.

"Yes."

"Well I am, I just keep forgetting," she furrowed her brow. "I know that doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Light told her as warmly as he could.

"Mom and Dad kept telling me that it was okay to still be scared, but after you hit the kid I wasn't scared anymore. I was just worried about Mello." She confessed.

"I understand," Light meant this. "When I heard you scream I was terrified, and I think the memory of that is always going to make me shiver, but that doesn't mean that I'm afraid right now."

"You say that, but still wouldn't leave me in the house alone," she remarked. "I know you want to go to school where you can pretend that everything is normal."

"I want you to not be alone today," he corrected her. "Would I like to be distracting myself? Yes, but I'm pretty sure that you would say that it isn't healthy."

"No," Sayu said, surprising Light. "Distractions are good. I want to be distracted."

"Okay," Light let himself smile. "Well we're home alone. When we were kids that meant ultimate freedom. Let's do something fun, alright?"

"Alright."

* * *

 _Sayu's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log_

 _Day Twenty_

 _I am writing this in the the first long moment that I have to myself where I can calmly process everything that just happened. Light is supposed to be here with me, but I begged him to run out and get us lunch, because I didn't want to eat anything in our fridge (even though it's way past lunchtime, but we ate too much junk food for breakfast). He should be back in about twenty minutes, and Mom will be home in a couple hours. This is really the only chance that I'm going to get to write this today, and I wanted to have it done by tonight. Alright, enough stalling, let me say what I meant to start this with._

 _This is my final entry. I have officially stopped spying on Light. He did tell me what was bothering him, but even if he didn't, now that he knows I worry about him, I think that it's time for me to trust him to confide in me on his own._

 _I guess I could call this log a success, although it did nothing to help me figure out what was wrong with him. Come to think of it, I did gain a lot through spying, even if it wasn't what I was looking for. Before this I couldn't confidently say that I had friends. I mean, there were people that I hung out with but I never had someone that I would buy a stolen game for or who would stand in between me and a bully with a knife. Now I have two friends, who are sorta brothers and sorta dating. About that, I didn't get the chance to say to Mello that I completely told him so. But I did. Maybe a bit too much than he was comfortable with, but what are friends for?_

 _Back on the subject of Light, I'm also going to have the trust him to handle things with Ryuzaki on his own. Okay, that was a lie. Two minutes ago Ryuzaki showed up at the door. I told him that Light had just stepped out and would be back in a few minutes so he should wait for him in his room. Technically, setting it up so that the two of them will be alone is not playing matchmaker, so I'm not really interfering. At least if you don't count my intentions. I know, I'm terrible._

 _Well, this has been fun (and stressfully and frightening), but I'm ready for it to be over. This is Sayu Yagami's Secret Find-Out-What-Is-Wrong-With-Light Spy Log, and I have nothing more to report._

* * *

When Light arrived home, Sayu ran to the door. He should have known that this was a bad sign. Sayu being excited for no reason was always a bad sign.

"You got the food, great," she said in a perky voice.

"What are you up to?" He asked, not with as much fear as he should have.

"Nothing," she pretended to be offended for a moment before snapping the beam back onto her face. "But…"

"But what?" Light asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ryuzaki came by right after you left, so I sent him to your room to wait for you," she said in one breath.

"Ryuzaki's in my room right now?" Light processed this information.

"Yeah," Sayu took the food from Light and turned in the direction of the kitchen. "He said he needed to talk to you. Take your time we can eat after."

Light barely heard her, for his mind and body had turned to ice.

 _I left my journal on my desk,_ he realized. _L wouldn't read it, would he?_

Light bolted up the stairs.

 _Of course he would._

It felt odd to knock on the door to his own room, but barging in on L wasn't something that he wanted to do either. Light hesitantly rapped his knuckle on the wood, not waiting for a response before opening the door. He had given a warning, but that didn't meant that he had to wait for permission to enter.

Light opened the door to the worst case scenario of L being alone in his room with his notebook. L was perched at the chair in front of Light's desk, Light's journal was open to the page that Light had been writing in that morning. The timing could not be more perfect.

"Should I assumed that this is exactly what it looks like?" Light sighed as he closed the door behind him.

L silently stood up from his seated position and picked up Light's journal.

"Light, what is this?" His voice was heavier than Light had ever heard it, full of suppress emotions that cut into both the speaker and the listener.

"I can explain," Light hated the way that his voice faltered.

He hadn't wanted L to know. He wanted to protect him. Marvel at how how that had blown up in his face.

"I'm not sure that you need to," L cut him off.

"No," Light stammered. "This isn't whatever you think it is, really."

L laughed but the sound was something that mirrored a broken sob. Light lost the ability to speak.

"I can't believe that I insulted your tenacity," L reflected bitterly. "Light, you are a wonderful writer as long as you are twisting everyone that you know into a dark story that only you come our victorious in."

L slammed the book onto the desk.

"Is that all you see me as?" L asked. "A pawn in a game that you control. Now I understand why you wanted nothing more to do with me, once you finished off my character there was no point to continue pretending to be my friend. To think that I-"

L did not get to finish that sentence.

One moment Light was standing three feet away from L, and the next he had launched himself at person that he cared about most in the world and was covering the boy's mouth with his own. Light's left arm wrapped around L's back, pulling him as close as he could, while his right hand tangled into the dark black hair that had tortured him for what felt so much longer than a week and a half. For a short blissful moment Light forgot everything that was troubling him. Everything that wasn't L melted away.

L didn't move. Knowing that he was taking advantage of his friend's frozen state shock and, possibly (Light dreaded), disgust, Light drew back from the embrace. He knew that if L was angry before, there was a high chance that Light's sudden display of affection had just made his situation far worse. But before he had completely released his hold, L was diving back into his arms.

Light stumbled in surprise and the two of them almost tumbled over on to the floor, L did noting to prevent this. After righting the both of them on their feet, Light's arms tightened around L and he relaxed into his embrace. Their lips found each other once again, and this time L didn't hesitate to kiss back.

Until that moment Light hadn't known how it felt to be completely free. Even before the dreams, Light had always placed himself in situations that did not slack on stress and pressure. It was depressing to say that not once in Light's successful life had he felt weightless and full of passion and joy. Kissing L gave Light all that he had unknowingly yearned for and more. It was as if they were two pieces of a puzzle that had finally connected. After seventeen years of never quite fitting in and secretly always feeling alone, Light had finally found where he belonged. He finally found who he belonged with. He was in love but he couldn't put the feeling to words. Luckily L wasn't asking him to talk at the moment.

When L finally broke away for air, the rage that had filled his eyes a minute before had all but diminished. Smiling slightly, he leaned his head onto Light's shoulder. His hands clutched the back of Light's shirt as he let Light burry his face in L's hair.

"You still owe me an explanation," L breathed into Light's neck.

"I owe you a lot of explanations," Light agreed, running his hand down the side of L's back. "And you owe me one."

Savoring the contact for another fleeting moment, Light disentangled the two of them. He walked to his bed, and took a seat at the edge of it, gesturing for L to do the same.

"What was that?" Light asked as L hopped next to him, sitting as close to Light as he could.

"You started it," L stated childishly.

"If by 'it' you mean the kiss, then 'it' was more than returned," Light smiled.

"I have a crush on you," L took Light's hand in his own, inclining into Light's shoulder. "And, considering you nearly attacked me with that first kiss, I think it's safe for me to say that you have a crush on me as well."

"You're correct." Light knew it wouldn't be fare to tell L that what he felt was so much deeper than a crush. That was a confession for another occasion. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you feel this way?"

"Why didn't I tell my only friend that I spend half of my time thinking about how incredibly handsome he is and the other half marveling that his intelligence equals his looks?" Sarcasm laced L's words, but he added in a more serious tone: "I didn't need you to want me back. I could live with a one-sided crush if it meant that I could have a friend who cares about me."

"I do care about you," Light squeezed L's hand. "Is that the only reason that you didn't tell me?"

"Yes," L answered. "I assume that you have more reasons and that they also cover the notebook that I just read."

"Yes," Light sighed, and ran his free hand through his hair. "It's a long story, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe a word of it."

"I trust you."

"You're the first person I'm telling this to," Light confessed.

"Does that mean you trust me too?"

"Yes," Light responded seriously, despite the teasing tone that L had asked in.

"Good," L brought Light's hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to it. "Now tell me your story."

Light pulled L into a hug and kissed the top of his head before clearing his throat to do as the boy had asked.

"About a month ago I started having strange dreams…"

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well this is the last official chapter, but there will be a short epilogue coming soon.

Thank you to JJ1083, Staggered Pichu, ElectricMello, Callicanios, and for reviewing!


	19. Epilogue

Light had known that telling both family's at once was a terrible plan, and cursed himself for indulging L's idea. L had thought that it would be better for them to tell everyone who needed to know about their relationship at once. Light had to admit that just getting the confrontation over with was an appealing thought, but dragging Sayu and his parents to L's house had not been pleasant. Then Light had found out that when L said "everyone" he meant "everyone" and the seven-year-olds that were currently sitting on the floor were not Light's ideal audience when he imagined himself coming out.

"If you two are eloping I revoke everything that I told you in the hospital, Light," Mello fumed from his spot on the couch.

"What does 'eloping' mean?" Asked Linda, the calmer one of the seven-year-olds.

"Let them talk before you assume what they have to say," Sayu chided Mello.

"They wouldn't call everyone here if it wasn't something like that," Mello was glaring daggers at Light.

"Mello, please be quiet," L's voice was threatening and shut the teenager up very nicely.

"We're not eloping," Light told the blonde flatly before directing his gaze to his parents and Sayu (the former were looking more uncomfortable by the second). Light tried to swallow his anxiety, if he could tell L about his dreams telling his parents his sexuality should be easy, right? As if sensing his discomfort, L wrapped his hand around Light's giving it a gentle squeeze.

"But we are dating." Light's eyes met the ground as he quickly added: "I'm gay."

"Yes!" Say exclaimed. "I knew you'd eventually stop being stupid and tell him how you felt! Well, actually, you talked to him a lot faster than I thought you would."

"Well, he didn't start with talking," L murmured in a soft voice that Light couldn't help but find adorable.

"What does that even mean?" Mello asked as Sayu giggled.

"Nothing," Light blurted before L could say something to make Mello dislike him even more. "L isn't there something that you wanted to say?"

"I think you already covered everything," L told him.

Light sighed, finally chancing a glance at his parents.

"I already knew," Sayu voiced, Light guessed that she was trying to get them to talk as well. "I mean, I didn't know they were dating, but Light already told me that he was gay. He wasn't sure how to tell you guys, but I told him that you'd support him no matter what, right?"

Sayu had never been good at fishing for compliments, and Light had to hide his grimace. He knew that his sister was only trying to help.

"Of course," their mother swiftly said.

She gave Light a meaningful look that honestly made him want to cry. Had he decided to have this conversation with only his family he might have been crying, but he refused to shed a tear in front of L's foster family, mainly Mello. Light looked to his father, the fact that he had yet to speak made the teen uneasy. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when his father gave him a slight smile and a nod.

"Is L gay too?" Linda innocently asked.

"I always thought he was," Mello mused.

"I thought that he was asexual," Matt voiced.

"Wammy was convinced that he's gay," Roger, L's foster parent, added. "I myself was never sure."

"If he's dating a boy he has to be gay," a seven-year-old, this one a boy, stated as if all of the other speculations were nonsense.

"Not necessarily," Matt muttered.

"When I gave you my permission to be friends with him, I didn't know that you're objective was to get into his pants," Mello was once again glaring at Light.

"That's not my objective," Light blanched.

"You better realize that, unlike you, everything I said still stands," Mello continued as if Light hadn't spoken.

"Just because I didn't tell you that I liked him does meant I said anything untruthful to-"

"If you do anything to hurt him I will hunt you down and kill you as slowly as possible," Mello's tone was dark, and Light wondered if he always spoke like this with children in the room.

"I'll help," Matt stated cheerfully. "But I don't have anything against you right now."

"I understand," Light knew it was better to accept what Mello had to say than try to argue with him. "But, just so you know, I'm not going to hurt him."

"I'll believe that for now," Mello crossed his arms. "But it'd be wise for you to keep your guard up."

"Stop trying to scare him," L groaned.

"That's my job!" Mello objected.

"While we're all here, isn't there something that the two of you should tell everyone?" L asked Mello and Matt in a sly but pointed tone.

"How did you know!" Matt's jaw dropped.

"Near told me," L smirked.

"I would like to take this moment to point out that I knew that all of you were dating," the white fluff ball that was L's foster brother Near spoke for the first time.

"How is that even possible?" Matt seemed a mixture of annoyed and amazed.

"Intuition," Near answered.

"But you never even met Light," Matt pointed out. "And Mello and I barely even talked to you since-"

"Stop being impressed it only encourages him," Mello scolded.

"Are you going to let everyone else in on what you're talking about or do L and Near have to do it for you?" Sayu asked Mello.

"Fine," Mello groaned. "Matt and I are dating. Happy?"

"Yes," L, Near, and Sayu said at the same time.

Light watched as the conversation he had just been put through repeated itself for Mello and poor Matt, who looked more than a little embarrassed at the amount of people witnessing it. When he was sure that nobody's eyes were on him, he laid his head onto L's shoulder. It was difficult to relax as his dreams were still not far from his thoughts, but he felt closer to calm than he had been in ages. Although both he and L knew fully well that calm was not going to find him until the dreams stopped. Yet, for some odd reason, Light knew that he could live with that.

* * *

"And you're positive that they've stopped?" L was clearly repressing his joy until Light had confirmed the answer to this question.

"It's been three nights since I died and since then I haven't dreamt of anything at all," Light answered with a wide smile.

It was early July. This was the first moment that Light and L had alone all day. Technically they weren't on a date. The two of them had been nominated to prevent Matt and Mello from doing anything inappropriate while they spent the day at the mall with Sayu (who definitely had no objections to standing by as her best friends went over board on PDA). Right now Light and L were sitting at a table to the back of a cafe that L had chosen while the three others ordered and waited for their food.

"How do you feel?" L asked as he laced his fingers with Light's.

"Amazing," Light responded with a goofy grin. "Despite dreaming my own death and failure to change the world, that is."

"I thought that you had given up routing for yourself?"

"I did as much as I could," Light attempted to clarify. "But part of me is always going to think that I was doing the right thing, no matter the sacrifices that I had to make. Don't get me wrong, the past few days I was holding on to the hope that Near would beat me and it would all end. Although it's still hard for me to picture your foster brothers engaging in an epic showdown to undo me."

"Really? It's incredibly easy for _me_ it picture it," L smirked.

"Shut up," Light dramatically rolled his eyes before letting his expression fall back to a serious one. "You know, I never thanked you for convincing me that I wasn't crazy."

"You always knew you weren't." The humor in L's eyes was gone, now replaced by an air of such endearment and caring that Light couldn't help the way that his heartbeat quickened as he met these eyes. "You just needed to hear someone else say it."

Light placed a kiss on L's cheek, grinning at the slight blush that he observed upon breaking away.

"Hey, can I say something?" He hesitantly asked.

"Is it that you love me?" L's cheeky smile was back with a vengeance.

"Actually, yes it is," Light admitted sheepishly. L's eyes widened but he didn't say anything, Light took this as a signal to continue. "L Lawliet, I love you. I have for a while, but I was waiting for the right time to tell you without sounding like I wanted our relationship to move any faster than-"

Light didn't get to finish this sentence, but he was happy for the interruption that L's lips on his provided. Laughing inwardly as he realized that this was L's way of politely telling him to be quiet, Light deepened the kiss. His right hand gently wove itself through L's hair.

"How come they're aloud to make out and we're not?" Mello loudly complained as he, Matt, and Sayu arrived with the food.

"Because we have the self-control to keep things to just kissing while in public," Light answered as he broke away from L.

"Hey! We've been following the ground rules," Matt objected.

"If both couples are going to start making out then it's going to make me very uncomfortable," Sayu announced.

"Liar!" Light and Mello declared in unison, then both bore expressions of horror that they could think so alike.

Sayu stifled a laugh and L didn't hide his chuckle, which earned him two equally unamused glares.

"Someone take this tray from me before I drop it!" Matt nearly shouted, bring everyone's attention back to the fact that it was lunch time.

"I love you too," L whispered into Light's ear, while the other three were too busy passing out the food to notice.

"Good," Light whispered back, cupping L's cheek with his right hand before locking their lips together once more.

"Seriously," Mello exclaimed. "You two are terrible at setting a good example."

Light took L's hand that wasn't too busy with his cake.

"We know."

* * *

"You're certain you want to do this?" L asked Light as his eyes trailed over the thick printed document in his hands.

"Yes," Light leaned back in his desk chair, keeping his gaze on L who was perched on the edge of his bed.

"You realize that other people are going to read it, right?" L made sure. "And you'll have to talk about it to more than just me."

"I think that will help me," Light responded.

"It could add closure," L was clearly still mulled the situation over. "Or it could over whelm you again."

"I changed the names, and anyone else who reads it will regard it as only a story," Light reasoned. L gave him another skeptical look, which drove Light to continue. "Look, I'm not going to forget what happened, those memories are always going to be there. At least this way I can channel them into something productive."

"It does get rid of your summer homework for a class you hate," L admitted with a slight smile. "But you know that most people will be able to tell who certain characters are based off of."

"Yes, and by certain characters you mean yourself and I." Light agreed.

"Maybe Miss Amane as well, but I doubt she herself would realize it," L added.

"Do you mind?" Light asked hesitantly. "I mean, you still die, and I don't have to go through with this if other people reading that part makes you uncomfortable-"

"No," L smoothly cut Light off. "I don't mind."

"You're sure?" Light needed to know.

L hopped off of the bed and walked to where Light was sitting. Light didn't move, and L hunched further so that he could look him in the eye. He caressed Light's cheek with his hand that wasn't holding the document.

"As long as you think this will help you, I'm sure," L told him sincerely.

Light brought his hand to L's cheek, mirroring him for a second before he closed the gap between them. L dropped the document on the desk so that he could wrap both of his arms around Light. The stapled stack of papers made a soft sound as they hit the wooden surface, but stayed neat and unopened. The first page that only displayed the title of Light's creative writing long term project could currently be seen.

 _Death Note by Light Yagami_

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well this was originally going to be a short epilogue, but adding Light and L's coming out scene made it about chapter length (and I couldn't help putting that scene in as well as the other two).

I'm sad to be posting the last update to this story, but I'm happy that I was able to finish it to my satisfaction and hopefully all of yours as well. This is the longest fanfic that I've written so far (which is a little embarrassing since it's only borderline novel length) and the second longest story I've written (the first was a novel I had to write for school which turned out more cringe worthy than some of Light's writing prompts). I only have a few weeks of vacation left and hope to write one or two more fics in that time, then I'll have to wait until christmas break before I get the chance to free write again (classes and theatre makes my school year hectic).

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! Special thanks to those who reviewed on the last chapter, JJ1083, bookgirl98, Wizard-Party-Forever, Callicanios, life is short and so am I, Curious, and Animelover5008.

Thanks for reading! Please review!


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